Permanent Rebellion

My R

POV: Adam (TW: Suicide/Heavy themes/depression. Read at own risk pls)

I sat in the meeting room of when Ace and I reunited unknowingly. Where Charlie pitched her wonder of the hotel about a year ago...the embassy was dark and empty...unused after the last extermination. It was a perfect place...in a way symbolic...now I knew I would just respawn if I just used the meds and booze...but that's why I took Ace's enchanted blade from his weapon stash. Letting out a shaky breath, I pulled out the notebook and pen from the backpack that was under the huge table. I leaned over the table as I looked down at a blank page.

The pen hovered over the parchment, my hand unsteady. My grip on the pen tightening as I tried to refocus on writing the note. I began to write, my breathing getting harder and harder as I continued. Soon the sounds of droplets hitting the paper could be heard, tears dripping from my cheeks. I signed the letter before dropping the pen and standing up. Leaving the notebook on the table, I dug in my backpack for the bottle of whiskey, Ace's knife, and my meds. Clenching the orange bottle in my hand. I made my way to the corner of the room, barely any light in the room except the crack from the ajar door.

I slid down the wall, laying my head back against it, tear stains running down my face. I had my phone on silent, but the amount of notifications kept lighting up the screen. I opened the bottle, taking a swig of the alcohol, it leaving a burn in my stomach. I looked down at my phone, the small charm dangling from my case. It was a duck and guitar one Lucifer got me randomly. He got matching ones for Ace and himself. Unlocking my phone I decided to randomly open my photo gallery, swiping through the photos. Pictures of his friends...the hotel rag tag group he never thought he would fit into...but he did, took him with open arms. Group selfies of him and Vaggie, some with him with Charlie and Lucifer...all so many pictures of people who became his friends...

I kept scrolling till I landed on a picture of Me, Ace and Lucifer on our first anniversary at Ozzies. I let out a choked sob, covering my mouth with a trembling hand. Pictures of Lute and I...pictures of me and my girls...I wanted some of my boys...pictures of Eve...but cameras didn't exist back then...I glanced at the incoming notifications, them now coming from Charlie, Vaggie...Angel..Husk...I threw my phone aside and threw my head back sobbing...

Was this all I was good for? I lived so long...for what? I'm fallen...I can't even see my kids anymore...or Eve...I was nothing more than a toy to Lilith...but Ace and Luci...they would understand right? They always did...since the beginning...I'll always be a fucking coward...I can at least be in control of this...

I opened the pill bottle and stared at its contents for what seemed liked forever till finally downing the whole bottle, washing it down with half the bottle of whiskey. I closed my eyes and laughed harshly, my stomach twisting at the contents i just ingested. It felt like time stopped...my head going completely foggy...my movements almost in slow motion...fuck...I can barely keep my eyes open...where was that damn knife...? I clumsily patted around the floor, my hand finally landing on the knife.

I gripped the knife a bit more firmly before in my right hand, lifting it up to my left arm. I swallowed thickly, my breathing becoming more struggled. I whimpered hard and placed the enchanted blade against my skin. Fuck..fuck fuck fuck...FUCK! I screamed in my head before I could pick up the muffled sound of running toward the meeting room. What?...what is that? No I need to do this before I respawn... I pushed the blade into my arm, drawing blood. I just had to drag up...I began to when I heard his voice.

"ADDY!"

It sounded desperate, in such pain...no why was he in pain...he would understand why I'm doing this...why does he sound that way? I moved my hand, the blade slicing into his arm in one flick of his wrist. OW! FUCK! I let out a cry, bright white pain went through out my whole body. It was like when my wings were ripped off in that courtroom. I glanced down with blurry eyes, blood all over the pristine tiles of the embassy floor.

"ADAM!"

Lucifer...? Luci?...no wait...I don't wanna go...what did I do? What's happening? I fell forward before hitting the ground, my body starting to get numb and cold. Blood spilling more onto the floor, my eyes closing before both of them reached my side.

I'm sorry...I'm sorry I'm sorry...I'm.....-

POV: Ace (before finding Adam)

I panted harshly, looking in every corner of Pentagram City. I called the other overlords, all of them saying they haven't seen Adam anywhere. It was until Rosie mentioned seeing someone of his stature sneak into the Embassy. I ran from Cannibal Town all the way to the embassy tower. I called Lucifer as I ran, having him meet me there. Adrenaline and panic kept me running, kept me going.

Lucifer touched down and looked just as bad as I did. I took his hand and we made our way into the embassy. It was dark and unused. We used the elevator up to the meeting rooms. We bolted as soon as the doors opened up, checking each room. "Wait...that room there!" I pointed to the familiar door. The one where Charlie had her first meeting with Adam. "Cmon!" Lucifer called and we both ran to the room, we stopped when we saw the door ajar. Lucifer pushed open the door. We looked at the scene in front of us. Adam was holding my enchanted fucking knife over his arm, it already drawing blood. Half bottle of whiskey on one side of him, an empty orange pill bottle on the other.

I called out running to him. "ADDY!" I tried to make it but it was too late, he moved his arm, the blade cutting down his flesh, blood spilling fast and thick onto the tiles of the floor. "ADAM!" Lucifer screamed as we ran up to him as his body dropped to the floor, his body occasionally spasming before it went still. My breathing became panicked, hyperventilating fast. Lucifer kept screaming and knelt in front of Adam, pulling his body into his lap. "Powers! Use your powers!" He called out to me snapping me from my shocked state. I hurried to Lucifer's side, he's been teaching me healing magic and such, some of the overlords as well. I concentrated through my emotions, a bright purple light came from my hands as I hovered it over the wound.

Come on....come on come on damn it! Please....please Father....if you can hear me...please let me save Adam...I know I've done bad things...we all had but ....fucking...LET HIM LIVE PLEASE!

Tears rolled off my face as I focused all my energy and power, the wound slowly stopped bleeding out, the majority of it closing and purifying itself. I panted hard, getting dizzy. I tore a piece of my T-shirt and used it to wrap the wound, making sure it was secured tightly. I leaned back, my eyes seeing almost double. "Lucifer, CPR and make him throw up those pills..." I huffed and he nodded, laying Adam down and started CPR. It felt so long, time dragging as Lucifer kept going until a deep inhale came from Adam. "That's my boy!" He patted Adam's face lightly, trying to wake him up more.

"H..-hurts" he cried out. "Cmon big guy, gotta empty that stomach" Lucifer slipped two fingers down Adam's throat, holding him securely so that he won't hurt himself more or go into a panic. Lucifer kept shoving his fingers in till he felt Adam gag. "Cmon love...throw up for us please..." he muttered and triggered Adam's gag reflex, soon he leaned over and violently threw up the pills, most of them still solid and not dissolved, he kept puking them up for about 5 minutes. "Good boy..." Lucifer let out the breath he was so desperately holding in.

I covered my face and sniffled, letting out a soft sob as we sat there in the dark meeting room. Adam in Lucifer's arms and I trying to keep myself under control. "You did good Ace..." Luci nodded to me and took my hand in his. I let out a small relieved laugh. "We did good..." I placed a hand on Adam's chest. He was breathing but out cold, his body starting its process of recovery. My chest heaved a bit as I rested against Lucifer, the unnoticed notebook still on the table.