To Love A Villain

No one else but you

>>Amber (Present)

"I learned a lot while I worked in the Cory Manor." His expressions didn't say much but his confession made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

I felt awful and I couldn't stop myself from crying but I tried not to make any sounds as he told his story. The weather was lovely, pleasant wind blew past us, fluttering our clothes and hair.

I stared at him when he looked ahead but at nothing in particular. His eyes were distant.

But it made sense to me.

It made my heart tremble as it dawned upon me, why Rika's 'treasure' perplexed him so much. His experience with his mother was so bad, he couldn't comprehend that there are people who are so attached to their mothers that they keep the things their moms left behind as a 'treasure'

Tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. He has done things so nonchalantly. I could never even have guessed the cruel story behind it.

I was so mad at him for so many things. Not realizing what even caused him to do that. He told me! He said it wasn't out of his will and I ignored that.

God!

I'm still the same.

I'm that same Corvina who hurt him because I was always jealous!! I'm the worst person! I can't believe I was jealous! I can't forgive myself for being like that!!

He kept rubbing his chest

"What's wrong?" I asked while tears rolled down my cheek

"I don't know," He brought his hand down, "It's a weird feeling."

At this point, I already had an idea. Hael had never learned how to regulate or understand his emotions properly, and I'm sure even at this moment he was having trouble with it. No one taught him what to do and he didn't see anyone to learn how to deal with it either.

In normal cases even when someone doesn't teach, you see other people around you handling it, like your family, your siblings or your friends and you learn things from them. But in his case, he had nobody.

"With you, there was a sense of familiarity." He said, "You were the only person I found who could come close to feeling what I felt. Your family didn't want you. You were an alien in that house, like I was." He kept his eyes straight ahead, reminiscing the God awful time, "You're the only one who chose me, because you wanted me and not simply my body. I knew you wanted me but then you suddenly started acting cold ."

"Hm?" Was that all? Wasn't I selfish too? I fell in love with his face as well. The first time I saw him, it looked like someone had brought me a lifesize doll or someone had snatched him right out of an ethereal painting. How was I any different than all the bad people in his life?

"Even now I can tell you feel something for me, but then you go ahead and act like you don't," His gaze narrowed, "That didn't sit well with me."

I didn't have an answer for him, "..." What do I even tell him? Can I tell him about how I came back in time? How I knew he was going to kill us all, me included? But do I even have a right to tell him that? After all I've heard?

After listening to his story, him killing the whole manner makes it seem like he did the right thing.

Everyone in that place was exploiting him.

Only God decided to have mercy on him and gave him unparalleled magic which helped him rise to power.

"But I've never slept with anyone out of my own free will..." He clarified that part again for me and I felt a stab in my chest. It was a stab I did for myself. I felt so guilty I couldn't define it in words. "I guess you would be the only exception since when you asked me to sleep with you, I didn't feel like I was being forced. With you, it wasn't so I could keep myself from dying or avoid something painful."