What She's Doing Now (Sequel to The Great Pretenders)

Crushed

By Rosette

  CRUSHED,
By the sweetest lips I've never kissed
And your fingertips and the warmest touch I've always missed
CRUSHED,
By the softest hands I've never held
Probably never tell,
You're the strongest love that I've ever felt
CRUSHED,
That I haven't ever let you know
How it always goes
Cuz I lose my nerve whenever you get close
And so I'm left,
Short of breath
With that heavy feeling in my chest
Baby I'm so crushed

Charlie glanced at the clock. Almost seven. Was Chris changing clothes right now, trying to decide what to wear to on his date trying to figure out what Ainsley would think was hot?

"How about 'Dead Poets Society'? "Kate asked flipping through the DVD collection.

"Or how about 'Legally Blonde'?" Kelsey suggested.

Maybe Chris and Ainsley are already at the Pizza Pan, dancing to some slow song, Charlie thought. Why had he told her that he was going out with Ainsley tonight? If he wanted to torture her, why didn't he just pull out her fingernails or drip water on her forehead?

"Are you even listening to us?" Kate tossed a DVD case at her.

"No," she shook her head admitting.

"What has got you so spacey?" Kelsey asked "Did you finally go in for that lobotomy?"

It was a joke and Kate laughed accordingly but Charlie just kind of stared. "Where is Malcolm tonight?"

"Malcolm?" Kate asked "Why?"

"Is he home?" Charlie insisted

"I think so." Kelsey said confused.

Charlie jumped up from the couch and grabbed her cell phone and began to dial.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked standing.

Charlie looked at her "I want Malcolm to drive me to the Pizza Pan."

Kate frowned "Your mom told you to stay home. Remember?"

"She won't know." Charlie insisted.

"Like Amy won't tell her?" Kelsey asked.

"Amy won't know."

Kate shook her head "Don't you think Amy will notice if we're all gone? She'll notice the silence."

Charlie put the phone up to her face "That's why you two are staying here."

"Are you fucking joking Chuck?" Kelsey cried "Why do you need to be there? You can't crash his date."

"I just want to see."

"See what?"

See Chris...Charlie thought but she didn't get a chance to answer.

"Chuck?" Malcolm answered his phone.

Charlie waved Kate away "Malcolm...I need a ride."

=======================

After convincing Malcolm to keep the getaway truck running, she made her way into the Pizza Pan. Every Friday night, they had karaoke and an open dance floor and Charlie knew that this was one of Ainsley's favorite places to hang out. She knew that Chris would be here. But she didn't want him to see her so she stayed by the pizza counter and ordered a soda from Lindsey Walters, a popular Anaheim high school Junior who was waitressing.

When Lindsey turned to grab her soda, Charlie saw what she came there to see but didn't really want to see-Chris and Ainsley on the dance floor. At least it was a fast song, so she didn't have to see them actually touching. For the first time, Charlie recognized Chris' clear green eyes and his dark brown hair, his perfect smile and his left dimple. He smiled down at Ainsley and Charlie's heart constricted. They sat down at a nearby table, and Charlie kept her eyes locked on him. She realized she hadn't ever really looked at him in a dating way. He'd been her best friend for so long. She'd never bothered to see how handsome he really was.

Chris glanced up-right at her. His green eyes locked on her as if he were staring straight into her soul. Oh shit, she thought frantically, he's going to be so pissed for me being here.

He turned away pretending he hadn't seen her. Charlie looked around the room for a few minutes pretending to be interested in the far wall. When she finally allowed herself to look at him again, Ainsley was leaning close to him, whispering something in his ear.

A slow song started up, and Charlie felt every muscle in her body tense. Were they going to dance? Chris stood up. Ainsley reached out, like she was going to take his hand. Charlie bolted. She shoved her way through the crowd and out into the cool night air. She'd seen enough. She didn't need to see Chris put his arms around Ainsley and slide his fingers through her hair.

I could go in there and stop it, she thought quickly. I could go in there and bump into her and drag him away. Rescue him. But it didn't really look like he wanted to be rescued. He wanted to be there. If she did that, it would be to make herself feel better. Protecting her position as Chris' best friend...something Ainsley jeopardized. She immediately felt disgusted with herself.

"Charlie," a voice called behind her. She turned around and saw Chris standing before her. He didn't look very happy. "What are you doing here?"

Charlie opened her mouth but didn't know what to say. She settled on "I was curious."

"Curious about what?" he demanded.

"I guess if you really liked her.

"I do, I really like her."

Charlie felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach "I can see that."

"Good."

"She's all wrong for you though," Charlie added "She won't make you happy."

"Yeah and who will?" he asked, a bit of pleading in his voice.

"I...I don't know...I just know that she's not a nice person. You deserve better," she said forthrightly.

"Yeah...who would be better Charlie?"

Then Chris took a step closer to her. And at that moment, for the first time, all she wanted to do was for him to pull her up against him and kiss her.

Me, she wanted to shout but couldn't make the words come out. Instead she shuffled her feet back together nervously. "Just not her," was all she could manage.

"You know what, Charlie?" he asked, his voice harsh. "You could have been the one dancing with me in there. You made the choice to push me away, keep me in the friend zone. And now you have to live with it." He whirled around and strode back into the restaurant without looking back.

Charlie could only stare at his retreating figure as he walked away. Chris had never walked away from her.

=====================

Chris saw Ainsley smile as he walked toward her. Good. The absolute rage boiling inside him must not show. It wouldn't be fair to make her deal with that.

Charlie. She was the one who deserved to have his fury come pouring down on her head like lava. She deserved to have to stand in that parking lot for hours listening to Chris tell her that it was too late for her...she'd been completely blind for too long. She had gotten off way too easily. That's because if Chris had tried to say one more word to her, gotten any closer, he would have kissed her. And that wouldn't be a good thing for either of them.

"So was she the kid from your kindergarten class?" Ainsley asked when he reached her

He shook his head. "Nope. It was a total stranger. I made a fool of myself."

"Yeah, poor girl," Ainsley said. "Having some gorgeous guy chase her out to the parking lot." She took a long drink of her soda and stared at the dance floor. It was obvious she was embarrassed by what she'd just said.

He didn't know what Charlie was talking about. Ainsley was sweet, he thought. She shouldn't be here with him. She should be here with a guy who didn't have ninety-nine percent of his brain focused on some other girl. A slow song started and she looked at him hopeful "You want to?" she asked motioning to the dance floor.

"Sure," he said taking her hand.

He'd managed to avoid a slow dance all night but after the scene with Charlie did he really have anything to lose?