What She's Doing Now (Sequel to The Great Pretenders)

Collar Full

By Panic! At the Disco

We've waited so damn long, we're sick and tired
I won't leave any doubt or stone unturned
I've got a collar full of chemistry from your company
So maybe tonight I'll be the libertine

Oh show me your love, your love
Gimme more but it's not enough 
Show me your love, your love
Before the world catches up 

'Cause there's always time for second guesses I don't wanna know
If you're gonna be the death of me, that's how I wanna go  

Lucy frowned at the hazel eyes looking down on her "Song's over," she said briskly as Zacky moved away from them.

Matt was undeterred "I need to talk to you."

"I already said everything I had to say earlier."

"But you didn't let me talk. You were too busy walking away....again, I might add."

"And if wouldn't walked away, what? What would you have done?" she asked exasperated

"Well if you'd listen instead of talking and then walking away..."

"This isn't the place for this..." she said turning her back to make her way back toward Zacky.

He grabbed her arm as she passed by "No Sanders. Let me go. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just want you to let me go," she told him.

"Do you?" he asked "Do you really? Because if that's really what you want, I will."

"Sanders...."

"I'm not letting you go until you hear what I have to say."

"Whatever you have to say, it's too late," she protested without much conviction.

"Is it? Or are you scared?" he asked, his hazel eyes meeting her blue eyed gaze.

When she didn't speak, he continued "I know I'm scared. Honestly I'm scared shitless but if I don't say this then...well...I'll never be able to live with myself. And if you'd quit running away from me, you'd realize that I'm trying to tell you that I'm in love with you."

Lucy felt light headed like she might faint. She was completely speechless.
After a minute, Matt shuffled from embarrassment "Say something."

I love you too! she cried inside but could only manage "I don't....I can't...." shaking her head side to side.

Matt continued taking her hands in his. "C'mon Luce, I've been in love with you since we hatched that stupid plan in high school. I loved being with you...spending time with you. Just remembering those fucking times got me through a lot of shit. Do you remember?"

She nodded slowly, taking in his words. It had been so long ago but she could remember it like it was yesterday. "What about Val?" she asked her voice rough with emotion.

"She went home...I had to....I couldn't do it...you know? Have her here acting like the good wife when things are over between us... and to have to pretend while you were standing right there. And then Zacky had his hands on you."

"It was just a dance," she countered.

"I know and I know Zack...he's a good guy. I just...couldn't stand there and watch and think of another guy being able to do that when I couldn't," he said sadly.

Lucy knew what he was saying and her heart ached to comfort him but that would be wrong. She had to keep her feelings in check. She had to think of her own feelings, not his.

"You're fucking beautiful...and smart...and brave...the fact that you raised our kid all by yourself...that fucking floors me everytime I think of it. And I know you deserve better, but I'm tired of not being with you. So will you give me a chance? I know you care about me, I know you have to feel something for me..." he said and then sighed as if his speech took all his energy. 

Lucy knew he was looking for some kind of reaction but she stayed cool remembering where she was. This was not the time and this was not the place. This would have to wait until they could talk somewhere privately. Not here in front of so many watching eyes. So instead, she tried to look as expressionless as possible and she saw a hint of a frown creep across his features.

In turn, Matt knew Lucy pretty well by now. He knew she was trying to hold her feelings in, not to give anything away. But her blue eyes said it all. There was an obvious question in them but the one she finally asked wasn't the one he was expecting.

"So....do you want to get out of here?"

=============================

Matt led her by the hand toward their friends. He only stopped for a minute to let them know know they most definitely would not be coming back. And then he dragged her out of the club so quickly, Lucy barely had a chance to say goodbye to the girls.

Zoey made sure to catch her before he dragged her away "Good luck. I love you."

Lucy could only nod as tears stung her eyes. 

As they got into his Suburban, he reached over and held her hand tightly as if she'd disappear if he let go.

"Sanders," she began as he pulled onto the street"We have  a lot to talk about."

He nodded at her in the dim light of the car "Yes we do," but didn't proceed to elaborate as he took the Anaheim exit.

She crossed into the her home after she unlocked the door and made her way to the living room. This was what she'd been waiting for since they left the club. They'd finally talk about everything.

She was going to take a seat on the couch when she felt him take her hand and pull her to him.

"Lucy," he said her name hoarsely and she felt tingles. "We need to talk..we have a lot of things that we need to sort out, but..."

"But?" Lucy said feeling panic rise as the word. What if he realized he was making a mistake.

A grin spread across his face and those gorgeous dimples appeared "But if I don't make love to you right now, I don't think I'll be able to stand it."

Lucy smiled and nodded and that was all he needed. With a low moan, he pulled to her him and kissed her. Seconds..hours, she didn't know how long it lasted but he covered a lot of ground: lips, tongue, cheeks, neck, face. His hands reached under her shirt to feel her breasts, to run his hand over her stomach. She reached under his shirt to touch his each developed muscle of his chest.

They began to undress each other clumsily making their way to the bedroom, bumping into furniture in the process. She felt as if she couldn't keep up with him and finally, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He claimed every inch of her body with his touch.

She gasped at the sensation and realized how much she had missed him.With a groan, he pushed himself into her and she cried out from the shock of his invasion. Every muscle in his body tensed and he froze, afraid that he had hurt her.

But she just pulled his head down into her neck and whispered hoarsely: "Don't stop.

He groaned into her ear as her legs clamped down around his waist. She was moving her hips, thrashing underneath him and he couldn't deny her any longer. He started to move with her, grinding his hips and pushing himself further into her, slipping in and out until her fingernails dug into him and her head fell back against the bed. She moaned softly into his ear which only made him drive into her faster and harder. They were moving together at a hectic pace now, clinging to each other as the sensations and the passions went on and on until she was gripping his head desperately as her walls quaked around him. As soon as the moan left her lips, he was gone, spilling over into her and draining him completely.

He collapsed on top her and her legs slipped down until they rested against the bed. He lifted his head from the crook of her neck and looked into her eyes. He smiled and leaned down to place a soft, gentle kiss onto her swollen lips. She chuckled and ruffled his short hair as he rolled them to the side, slipping out of her, and reached down to pull her comforter over them

She wrapped an arm around his waist and buried her face in his chest, breathing him in and memorizing everything about him and this moment. His arms found her waist and he gripped her tightly before he placed one more loving kiss on her lips. Before she drifted off to sleep she finally said the words he'd been waiting to hear

"I love you too, Matt."