The One | Zach Clayton

Chapter 24

(Next day on the plane, heading to Maine)

A//n: that rhymed^ 😂 ok back to the story..

I put my head on shawns shoulder. I don't remember how long they said the flight would be. All I know is that it's long.

I feel really guilty about what happened with Zach and I. I feel like I took it too far. But I love him. I really do. But, I can't leave Shawn like that. So, I guess we will just keep doing what we're doing. Who's it gonna hurt?

"Babe, wake up were landing." Shawn whispered in my ear. I guess I fell asleep.

I stood up and grabbed my carry on. Then after exiting the plane we went to grab our luggage. There was a huge tour bus waiting outside of the airport for us.

When we got on the bus, Chris, our manager told us that this bus will only be used to travel state to state. We can't keep getting on planes. But, we will still be stopping at hotels since it'll be too crammed in here to sleep. Plus there's no beds.

-

We arrived at the hotel and Shawn and I went up to our room. There were two beds. We put our stuff on one then we laid down on the other.

He looked at me then kissed my lips.

"I love you." He said to me.

"I love you too." I said guilty.

"I'm gonna go find something to do. Maybe walk around the city or shop. I'll be back soon." I told Shawn and he nodded his head.

When I walked out I closed to door behind me then went straight to Zachs room. I made sure no one was around then walked in.

"Who's there?" Zach said walking out in tight boxers. God, the sight killed me.

"Just me." I said smiling.

"Oh hey kenz, what's up?" He asked me.

"Nothing just bored. I wanted to hang out with someone but you're like the only friend I have on this tour." I told Zach and he chuckled.

"Or you want more oral sex" Zach said with a smirk.

"That's what we need to talk about. I don't think I can keep doing this to Shawn. He's such a nice guy. I love him. I hate doing this to him. I hope you understand. I'm sorry." I said to Zach. He looked at me weirdly.

"So, you don't want to be with me? Is that what you're saying? Because you know how I feel about you. Kenzie I fucking love you. And no, I don't love you for the sex or anything else, I genuinely love you. Seeing you date Shawn tears me apart. I want to be the one who can hold you close at night. I want you back Kenzie." He said with a sad look.

"I'm sorry. I have to go." I said getting up from my spot.

"So you're going back to him? After everything I just said to you? After everything we've been through? You don't understand what I'm feeling." He said and I almost lost it.

"I don't know how you're feeling? YES I FUCKING DO! HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT WHEN I WALKED IN ON YOU HAVING SEX WITH SOME BIMBO WHILE YOU WERE DATING ME? DID YOU THINK I WAS OKAY WITH IT AND IT DIDN'T HURT ME? HELL NO. I CRIED FOR ABOUT A WEEK STRAIGHT. BECAUSE I LOVED YOU. I STILL DO. But I also love Shawn. I'm not going to drop him for you. Maybe if Shawn and I don't work out then there will be an us. But I can't guarantee it." I said standing up and leaving his room.

I walked back to my room and plopped on the bed and started to cry. Shawn came out of the bathroom and noticed me crying and sat next to me and played with my hair.

"Wanna talk?" Shawn asked and for once I nodded my head. I'm going to tell him the truth.

"Shawn, before I say what I'm about to say, I want you to know that I really do love you." I said and he looked really confused.

"Um, the other night. When you stayed with Nash. I um, I went over to Zach's hotel room. He wanted to finish talking, so we could at least become friends. One thing led to another, and we- um, we kissed." I paused. I saw a tear run down Shawn's face. I touched my face ad noticed there were tears on my face too.

"Is that all you guys did?" Shawn asked in a weak voice.

I looked down at the ground.

"No," i said quietly. "We had oral sex." I said and more tears ran down his face.

"Shawn I'm so sorry. I felt really guilty so I had to tell you. I know I fucked up. I really did. But I do love you. I just want you to know that." I said basically balling my eyes out.

He stood up and put his hands in his hair. He started pulling at the ends.

"Fuck!" He screamed.

"Shawn I'm so-"

"If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it. What the fucking fuck I actually trusted you! I fucking trusted you with everything I had, and look at what you've done with my trust. We're over." He said and my heart shattered.

"But Shawn-"

"No, nothing. I want you and your stuff out by morning. And don't even THINK about talking to me ever again." He said looking at me.

"I made a mistake Shawn. We all make mistakes. I'm not perfect." I said quietly.

"Cheating isn't a mistake. It's a choice. And I used to think you were perfect, up until you cheated on me. Bye I'm leaving for the night. You better be gone by morning." He said and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I got up and started to pack my things. I only unpacked toiletries earlier, so thank god it wasn't a lot. Once I finished I pulled out my phone. My lockscreen was a picture of us together, kissing. It hurt to look at it, so I changed it to a picture of me hugging a fan.

I couldn't make the tears coming out of my eyes stop. I seriously fucked up. BIG TIME. Maybe i shouldn't have told him about it. Or maybe I shouldn't have done it at all. But you can't take back the past.

I sent a quick text to Apryll.

Me: Hey Apryll, I'm not trying to bother you at all, but do you have an extra bed in your room? Shawn and I broke up, and this is his room.....

Apryll: No, but Zach does. Just go to his room and ask him if you can use it. I'm sorry about you and Shawn. Hopefully he'll come around.

Me: Thank you! But i'm not so sure he will.

Before I left Shawn's room, I left him a note to read.

Dear Shawn,

I know, you want nothing to do with me, and I will respect that. I just want you to know that I love you. You made me really happy. I hope you find a girl who is amazing for you. The perfect girl, because that girl is not me. I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be. But someday, I'll find someone who will outlook all of my flaws and love me for me. I know you loved me, but it almost seemed like a friendship kind of love. Maybe you breaking up with me was the best thing that could have happened. Let's see other people, and maybe even build a friendship in the future. I know me cheating on you was stupid, and I really do regret it. I'm 15, and I've already cheated on my boyfriend... Well, ex. I feel like a total slut and whore and I really hope you're not thinking of me like that. I just- I wanted experience ya know? I wanted sexual experience with someone who loved me. And although you said you loved me over and over again, I don't know if you did. You cried when I told you, and that broke me. Just hear me out one last time, I love you. Don't ever forget that. Goodbye.

                                                                      -Kenzie.