Excessive (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 83.

"So is Luchesi hot?" Sophia asked, making my eyes bulge out of my head.

"Sophia! You have a boyfriend!" I said making her laugh.

"Doesn't matter. If he's hot,  he's hot" she said making my cheeks heat up.

"I guess he's cute. I don't really look at him like that. He kind of reminds me more of a brother than anything" I said making Sophia nod.

"Well you know what they say, incest is the best" she said making the both of us break into hysterics.

"Sophia! Where is this coming from?" I asked, tears of laughter brimming my eyes.

"I don't know, I've been getting in a lot of trouble with Liam lately so all of my jokes have been bottled up" she said as another fit of laughter ran through us.

"If they ever heard us talking like this.." I started making Sophia giggle.

"Speaking of them, how are you and Mr. Styles?" she asked making my laughter die down.

"We're okay.." I said biting my lip.

"Are you guys like a thing?" she asked making me furrow my eyebrows.

"I'm not sure.."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Like, we've done things and yes they are the things you're thinking about. Not sëx! ...But other things. And sometimes I think we're something but then I remember it's all just a big plan for him. All of this, that I'm thinking is us becoming something, is really just a little past time for him while this plan continues to brew" I said making her nod. "At this point I just don't know what to think.."

"Has he dropped the three words?" she asked, making my eyes widen.

"No! I know he won't. He can't possibly love me. I know somewhere down there he could be capable of it, but I think loving me would be much too complicated for him considering my family and who they are and him and who he is" I said as Sophia nodded along.

"Has he allowed you to contact your family?" she asked.

"The last I heard from them was that day at Niall's when Seth called.. other than that I haven't heard a peep" I said.

"I find all of that a bit sketchy. If one of my loved ones went missing I would be on the hunt day and night for them, your brothers don't even have a clue?" she said making me shrug.

"Well they think I'm dead so..." I said making her eyes widen in realization.

"Oh yeah I forgot about that" she said, her shoulders slumping.

"What scares me is that, one day Harry will open the door and tell me I'm free. But right now, I'm not sure if I even want to go back.." I said making Sophia's face scrunch up in confusion.

"Why's that?" she asked.

"I don't know. Even when I left him in Italy, before Luchesi came and got me, my plan was not going back to America to my family" I said.

"Where were you going to go?" she asked making me shrug.

"I don't know, at the time I wasn't thinking about any of that. The only thing on my mind was getting away from him" I said. "It's weird, the one thing I craved most since the moment I got here is now something that I am beginning to dread"

"Why don't you want to go back? You would see your mom and your siblings" she said.

"I do miss them it's just... Being here, has put me through experiences that I know I would never go through in America.." I began "When I was home, all I would do is go through the motions... wake up, eat, take care of the babies, keep all doors locked, go to sleep. It was the same thing every day and I can't live my life like that.." I said.