Just Friends (Dan Howell)

Chapter Forty-One

When we touched back down in London, I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I leaned heavily on Dan in the cab, and Jenny helped prop me up while we staggered back to our flat. I don't know what we looked like to the people who saw us-- probably thought we were drunk.

I crashed for the night, and the next three days were a bit of a blur. Faith Hood texted me in late May, saying she had just taken her A-levels. I invited her to come celebrate with Jenny and I.

"What?" Faith exclaimed when we had all met up at the ice cream parlor. "You guys were at PlayList? I was there too, why didn't ya tell me?"

I shrugged. "Sorry?"

Faith slugged me in the arm. "Damn straight! We could have hung out in Orlando!"

I laughed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Maybe we can do it next year?"

"What about VidCon?" She asked suddenly. "Are you going to that?"

"I dunno," I said.

"Summer in the City? In August?"

"We haven't been invited yet--"

"Tchah!" Faith made a strange noise. "Promise you'll text me as soon as you get your letters."

"Faith, we don't know for sure if we are gonna be invited," Jenny explained.

"Yeah, you have to be pretty well known in order to--" I started, but someone squealed, "LilTalks!" behind me.

I spun around. A tall girl with wavy auburn hair not unlike mine stood by the counter. In fact, she was behind the counter. The girl who would be serving us knew me from YouTube.

"Hello!" I smiled.

"Oh my god, it's really you!" She gasped. Then her eyes fell on Jenny. "And you're her flatmate, Jenny! You're amazing, you are! When are you making your own channel?"

"Already have," Jenny said. "As of three months ago. It's called Just Jenny, I'm about to hit 100k."

"Are you guys gonna post a video of the Phenny Wedding?"

I looked at Jenny. "I dunno. Depends. I might vlog it, but it's a kind of personal thing."

"No, of course!" The girl said quickly. "I didn't mean to intrude, it just... it would be really awesome of you guys to go and share that part of your life with us." Suddenly, the girl's face lit up. She turned over her shoulder and yelled, "Andrew, get out here and see who it is!"

The girl turned back to us, leaned on the counter, and smirked. "My brother is a subscriber. He fancies you, Lillette."

"Um, great?" I mumbled.

"He'll be awhile," the girl said, looking at the ice cream. "What can I get you?"

We all ordered, and she handed our cones and cups to us.

"How much?" I asked, reaching for my bag.

"No charge," she said.

"What?" Faith cried. "At least let me pay-- I'm not sure famous YouTuber!"

"No, you've already paid enough," the girl said. "It's I who should be paying you!"

"Why?" I asked, bewildered.

The girl shook her head slowly, smiling. "You've no idea, do you? Of the impact you've had on people?"

"Um... no?" This girl kept flustering me!

She reached for the long sleeve of her uniform and pulled it up, revealing her right forearm. There were seven clean, bright lines across her arm. Scars.

"I was depressed and suicidal last year," she explained, a smile on her face. "But you saved me. I haven't harmed myself in over eight months!"

"That's..." I was speechless. "I had no idea." This made me even more determined to keep my channel rising to greater heights. If I could change people like this, surely I was doing the right thing?

Out of the back of the shop emerged a scrawny, strawberry blonde, teenage boy. He looked about fifteen. "What is it, Ellie?" He called irritably.

"Andy, look who is buying ice cream!" The girl, Ellie, pointed at us.

"I'm not just gonna goggle at some random strangers tryna enjoy their ice cre--" Andy stopped at the counter. He saw me, and his face went slack.

"Hi!" I waved at him.

"Uh... er... crap, I don't have my signature book..." he grabbed a napkin, reached into his uniform pocket, and pulled out a pen. "Can you and Jenny sign this, please?"

"Sure!" I took the pen and scribbled out LilTalks. Then Jenny did the same with Just Jenny. We handed him the pen and the napkin, which he handled like solid gold.

"Thanks so much!" He cried breathlessly, then ran back into the store room.

"Probably off to kiss the pen in search of your finger juices," Ellie said dryly.

I pulled a cringe face. Ellie laughed.

"Well, we better get going," Jenny said. "Thank you for the ice cream!"

"It was really lovely to meet you," I told her. "Thank you!"

"No, thank you!" She beamed. "Bye, Lillette!"

Faith, Jenny, and I all left the shop. Faith smirked at me, eating a spoonful of ice cream. "So," she snickered. "Don't thing you're well-known or important enough to go to VidCon, eh?"

~~

As if she were foretelling the future, the next day Jenny and I got a letter from VidCon Staff and Accordance.

We replied immediately, of course. It's amazing how fast something like that can happen. It was crazy, but in a span of a few moments, I was going to VidCon. My channel was moving up.

I thought if that girl, Ellie, that I saved. She was one of thousands. I had to make more people see my videos. Every person that I made smile was one less person that harmed themselves.

It was insane. When I first started making YouTube videos, it was for me. I wanted the fame, I wanted the content, I wanted the fond memories. But now that I've met some fans who I have changed... now, my channel is about them. I thought when I spoke, it was just random words falling out into strange patterns.

But now I realize... Connor Franta was right. They really are more than just words.