Just Friends (Dan Howell)

Chapter Forty-Seven

Jenny and I approached the main stage. Tyler was just walking out, waving to everybody. He stopped in front of the microphones and said, "Oh, wow." His voice echoed around the whole room, startling him, and making him say, "Oh, wow!" again.

"How are y'all doing?" He asked.

The crowd screamed.

"Come on," I whispered. "Let's get backstage."

Jenny nodded, and she followed me as I squeezed around the crowd, behind the stage, and up the steps.

"Hey!" One tech guy hissed. "What are you doing here?"

"LilTalks and Just Jenny," I replied. "Fellow YouTubers. We're gonna surprise Tyler. Don't worry, we won't be long."

"Be fast," the guy spat.

"Will do!" Jenny gave him a thumbs up.

I stopped behind the left wing, and peeked out. Tyler was saying, "...none of my friends wanted to be here with me!

"Go, go, go!" I breathed. Jenny and I sprinted out of the wing. I shouted, "Think again, Oakley!"

Tyler turned. He screamed, then laughed as we tackled him in a hug. "Not this again!" He shouted.

"Oh, yes, this again!" Jenny giggled.

"What are y'all doing here?" Tyler asked.

"We wanted to surprise you!" I grinned.

"Haven't you already done that today?" He asked.

"Yeah," Jenny shrugged, spreading her arms. "So?"

We laughed. Tyler turned and spoke to the crowd. "Earlier today, during my meet-and-greet, Marcus Butler, Joe Sugg, Lillette, and Jenny all surprised me just so say hi!"

"It was a very adorable Myler moment!" I told the crowd.

"Git out!" Tyler said, laughter in his voice. He pushed me towards the left wing. "This is my show, they came to see me! Go on, gittout! It was lovely seeing you, I'll see you at the VidCon after party, Kay?"

"Alright, alright!" I giggled. "We're going!"

"Bye, Tyler!" Jenny waved as we walked off.

"Dubai!" Tyler also waved, then we were off stage. I heard him say, "British people are so funny!"

"You're a British people!" Jenny teased me, nudging me with her shoulder as we went down the steps onto the ground floor, and into the main hall.

As we were walking, I noticed Dan and Phil waving goodbye to the last of their fans. They were finishing up their meet-and-great. We waited for them to be done. When they were, they walked over to us.

"Hello!" Phil chirped. "Heard about the commotion you caused with Tyler Oakley!"

"Yeah, that was fun!" I laughed.

Dan snorted.

Suddenly, a thought seemed to strike Phil. "Oh, hey, Lillette... could you come over here for a moment? There's something I wanted to show you!"

I was confused for a moment. Then I recalled: I wanted to talk to him. I nodded. "Of course." I turned to Dan and Jenny. "See you guys in moment."

Then I followed Phil behind an empty booth full of Alfie merch.

"What did you want to talk to me about earlier?" He asked gently.

"Well," I said slowly. "I had a dream last night, Phil. In it, almost all my friends died, except for Joe, Jim, and Marcus. In the dream, Joe would never be able to walk again, Marcus was unconscious, possibly in a coma, and Jim was stunned." Before I knew it, I found myself pouring out the entirety of the dream, even the parts where I confessed some sort of feeling for Dan.

When I finished, my eyes stung slightly.

Phil seemed speechless. Then he cleared his throat. "Wow, Lil, I... I had no idea you felt that strongly for any of us."

"What do you mean?" I croaked.

"Well," Phil said. "To me, it feels like, whenever you have a horrible dream about someone you care about dying, it means you feel so strongly for them, it's your subconscious channeling the worst possible outcome for you and that person."

"Have you had one?" I asked suddenly.

"Several," nodded Phil. "In the first one, my brother was in New York on 9/11." He swallowed.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

Phil shrugged. "In the second, Pj and Chris were kidnapped and thrown off of Big Ben."

"Oh my god," I breathed, placing a hand over my mouth.

"And then, one of the worst ones I've had was about Dan," Phil said solemnly. "Dan and I were fighting in some sort of medieval war, and we'd been drafted from our flat in London. We fought, and were some of the only people on our side to live through the war. In the final battle, we won, and I remember looking out across the field, and calling for Dan. He called back, and I found him trapped under an enemy warrior's dead body.

"I shoved the body off him, and saw that he had killed the warrior right after it had stabbed him in the gut with a javelin. The javelin tip had snapped, so the steel tip was buried in his stomach. I picked him up, and he coughed, blood bubbling on his lips. I asked him, How you doing, mate? He kind of smiled at me and replied, how does it look like I'm doing? A tear trickled down my cheek, and landed on his armor. Dan smirked at me, his eyes kinda fading out. He said, You always were a wimp. I told him, Shush, don't talk. You'll be alright. He said, Don't say things that aren't true. I started crying a little harder, but still silently.

"Tears get pitter-pattering onto his armor, and he just smiled at me. His eyes went completely out of focus, a trickle of blood escaped the corner of his mouth, and he said, Phil, let's go home. I replied, Okay. Then it started to rain, and he died in my arms."

For the second time that day, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. Is that something Dan said in every nightmare people had with him?

"I'm so sorry, Phil," I whispered.

Phil ground a palm into his eyes and shrugged. "I also had one about Jenny," he muttered. "But I don't wanna relive that one."

"I don't blame you," I breathily laughed.

He smiled faintly.

"What do you think those dreams mean?" I asked.

"I think they mean you need that person in your life," Phil said. "I need Dan, and I need Jenny, and those were the worst ones."

"So... do you think it's saying I need everyone who came to VidCon?" I asked.

"Well, in a way," Phil said thoughtfully. "It would be incredibly hard without them, but Dan was the main person in the dream."

"You think... I need Dan in my life?" I asked, bewildered.

Phil laughed. "Don't kid yourself, Lil. You know you need Dan in your life. It is as saying you need him as more than a friend."

"What?" I blustered.

"You know what!" Phil exclaimed. "You're just refusing to accept it!"

"I'm sorry, I probably am, I just--" I stammered. "I need time to think. Thank you, Phil."

"Of course," Phil nodded.

"Lillette! We need to go! Where are you?"

I turned. "That's Jenny. We have a panel... I better go."

"Yeah," Phil nodded.

There was an awkward silence. Then Phil said, "Thanks for coming to me, Lillette."

"Uh huh," I nodded. "I mean, I've always felt a little distant from you, and seeing as you're about to marry my best friend..." I sighed. "Also, the dream. I want to become closer. If you died in a plane crash on the way back from VidCon, my deepest regret would be that I only knew the you from the screen."

Phil grinned. Nothing more needed to be said. I smiled at him, turned, and rejoined the crowds of VidCon, joining my best friend for our panel.