Just Friends (Dan Howell)

Chapter Fifty

(A/N: HOLY CRAP we're at chapter fifty already!?!? How did that happen!? I just wanna give a huge, huge, huge thank you to everyone that has stuck around to continue reading. I'm not sure how much more of this book there's gonna be. Maybe 10 more chapters. I hope you're enjoying!)

We spent the rest of VidCon very much like the first day. I had a chance to talk to the YouTube boy band on the main stage, and Dan and Phil were giving out Amazing Tour Is Not on Fire posters.

That gave me an idea.

"Hey, Jenny," I first broached the topic at lunch on the third day. "Have you thought about going on tour?"

Jenny almost spit out her sweet-and-sour pork. "What?" She gasped, wiping her mouth.

"Well," I tried to amend hastily, "Lots of YouTubers go on tour nowadays, and they always seem to have tons of fun on them. Would you be interested?"

"Lil," Jenny spluttered. "I don't even have half a million subscribers! I think it's a bit early to be thinking of a tour, isn't it? I mean, Dan was in his sixth year on YouTube when he and Phil finally went on tour!"

I didn't mention the subject for the rest of the day. On the last day of VidCon, Dan, Phil, Jenny and I were all behind the main stage, talking. I decided to try again.

"Hey," I said. "Wouldn't a tour be cool, Jenny?"

"Not this again!" Groaned Jenny.

Dan looked at us, confused. "What's wrong with a tour, Jenny?"

Jenny folded her arms. "We're hardly ready to go on tour! I don't have nearly enough subscribers, and Lil hasn't been on YouTube all that long. It's too soon!"

Phil's brows knit. "That's not necessarily true...."

"Well, you have fun on your tour, Lil!" Jenny snapped. "I'm not gonna be part of it, though!"

That shut me up, pretty much for good.

~~

The day came when we had to say goodbye to all the Americas. Tyler Oakley, Connor Franta, Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart... we all exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch.

Then, we stepped into the airport, and I was having difficulty breathing. My dream was flashing before my eyes.

"Hey, you okay?" Dan asked.

I couldn't tell him about the dream-- not yet, anyway. "Fine," I choked out.

"Not, like, Dan fine, but actually fine?" He checked.

"Actually fine," I murmured. "How about you?"

"Dan fine," Dan sighed, his shoulders sagging.

I hugged him, and he seemed to feel better. We went through security, and stood in the waiting area. I felt nauseous. Jenny approached me slowly.

"It's okay," she whispered, grabbing my hand and squeezing it tight. "You're gonna be fine."

"Uh-huh," I said, staring blankly ahead.

Fire, enveloping the plane, my skin burning off my bones--

"Just think positive."

I nodded, blinking hard. "Okay."

Jenny gave my hand another squeeze, then walked over to grab her luggage.

We boarded the plane, and I felt like I was walking on two blocks of wood. I stumbled into my seat, and buried my head in my hands.