Just Friends (Dan Howell)

Chapter Forty-Five

"Jenny!" I screamed, sitting up fast, sweat pouring down my face, dripping off my chin. Tears splashed across my cheeks, so that a mixture of tears and sweat was quickly staining the bedsheets spread across my lap. "Jenny, where are... you!" I broke down sobbing, burying my face in my covered knees.

I heard a commotion around me. Lights flicking on, the swish of blankets being thrown back, concerned voices.

"What's happened?" Louise asked. "Is she alright?"

"Lil, can you hear me? Lil, what's the matter? Was it a nightmare?" Zoe was by my head.

Zoe. Louise. But... they were dead. Burnt to a crisp and ripped apart. Was I dead, too? What happened?

Then, a different voice jarred me.

"Lillette, I'm right here. Look at me."

I slowly raised my head and looked to my right. Jenny sat there, her amber eyes full of concern, her brow furrowed. She placed a hand on my back, and rubbed my spine soothingly.

"I'm right here."

I started sobbing even harder. I threw my arms around my best friend. "I... I had a bad... a bad dream... and you... in it, you... we crashed... and then... everyone was dead... Zoe, Louise, Alfie, Phil... and, and you! You, Jenny, and Dan... and it was so horrible!"

"Whoa, calm down," Jenny said.

"We'll be in the toilet," Zoe said, grabbing Louise's hand and dragging her into the small bathroom.

"Jenny," I sniffled when they were gone. "Have you ever had bad dreams about Phil?"

"About Phil?" Jenny question. "No. With Phil in them, yes."

"What happened?" I wondered.

Jenny sat up, and folded her hands in her lap. "Well, the worst one happened about a month before he proposed. I dreamed that we lived in some sort of Sci-Fi world, and all our friends were working in the royal court of some high-and-mighty governor. However, he was the key to power. People all over were hiring assassins to kill this governor, and it was our duty to protect him. In the end, everybody except Marcus died. You drank poison for the governor, Dan took a bullet to the chest, Joe stepped onto an explosive, Zoe was strangled because she was dressing up as the governor..." Jenny sighed. "But Phil... Phil took a hit for me."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, an assassin went to stab the governor, I tried to stop him, but Phil jumped in front of me, facing me, and took a dagger to the back. He fell onto me, and died in my arms." Jenny was trembling. "It was one of the worst nightmares I've ever had."

"Was that when you realized you loved him?"

"Yes, I think that is when I realized I truly, honestly loved him."

I swallowed. "Jenny, what does... love feel like?"

"Well," Jenny pondered this. "That's a difficult question, Lil. Love is when that person just makes you happy. When they smile, everything bad just goes away. When they laugh, all your worries go down the drain. When they're sad, you want to do anything in your power to make them smile. When they're hurt, you want to track down who hurt them and personally attack that person." Jenny sighed. "Love is love, Lillette. It's different for every person."

"Do you ever feel conflicted about love?"

"Oh, absolutely," Jenny nodded. "You want to be the perfect person for your love, but it's hard to accept that just being you should be enough for them. And sometimes you want what's best for them, but in doing so, you have to realize that maybe to them, you are what's best for them."