JESSICA
"I never knew I could hurt like this." - Mariah Carey
1 WEEK LATER
It's been a week since I left the hospital and I'm depressed beyond belief. I didn't lose my baby but my doctor told me something that broke my heart and right now I'm stuck. I don't know what to do.
"Jessica, here, eat." Ant says, handing me a bag from Wendy's. I shake my head. "I'm not in the mood." I mumble, balling up on the couch. My kids are at school and they don't know that I'm pregnant.
"You gotta eat something for the baby." he says. "I made my decision. I'm getting an abortion." I mumble, feeling my eyes water.
He sighs, then sits next to me. He wraps his arms around me. "Why?" he asks. "My doctor told me the baby might not make it and if it does, it'll be born with birth defects. I don't want my baby to go through life like that. I'd rather get an abortion so my baby can go back to heaven where there's no struggling. Don't you get it? The baby will be born disabled, Ant. She said it'll probably be blind. I don't want my child to experience that. An abortion is what's best, Ant." I cry. I'm not being selfish or over dramatic. I see the way people treat disabled children and adults and I don't want that for my child. I'd rather let him or her go than to let my baby struggle.
He stands up. "You sound stupid! You ain't killing my fuckin' baby!" he snaps. "Ant, it's not even like that! On everything it's not! She told me that I most likely won't make it through this whole pregnancy and she said if I do, my baby will most likely be disbaled! Why the fuck would I want my child to be treated like shit his or her whole life! You see the way these fucking idiots treat disabled people, Ant! They treat them like they're nothing and I do not want that for my child!" I yell.
"You ain't killing my fuckin' baby!" he yells in my face, blowing. "It's not even your child, Ant! It's Montana's, gotdamn! She told me how far along I am and that was everything I needed to know! I'm not pregnant by you! Now you know the fucking truth!" I yell. Before I can make any moves or say anything, he slaps the shit out of me. I stare at him in disbelief. "You didn't like that, huh? That's how that shit you just said felt! Shit felt like a slap in my mothafuckin' face!" he snaps.
I draw back then start punching him in his face over and over. "Don't fucking hit me, you bitch!" I scream, kicking and punching him anywhere I can. I roll my eyes then grab my car keys off the coffee table. "I'm about to go talk to my child's father about our baby, bitch." I say. "Fuck out my face." he says. "Why are you even here? You know good and fucking well it's over." I say, then walk away from him. "It ain't over til I fuckin' say it's over! You mine! Remember that shit!" he yells after me. I throw my middle finger up at him.
-
I just got to Montana's house. I get out my car then walk to his front door. I ring the doorbell then step back. He opens the door then steps aside, letting me in.
"Come here." he says, grabbing my hand. He leads me to the kitchen. He opens a pot on the stove then puts some soup in a bowl. "It's home made chicken noodle soup I made you. I understand this is hard but I need you to at least eat this." he calmly says, walking over to the table.
I look down. He lifts my chin then holds the spoon to my mouth. I reluctantly allow him to feed me the soup. "Good, right?" he asks. I nod my head yes. "How you feeling?" he asks, touching my stomach. "I've been thinking and... I want to get an abortion." I mumble. He closes his eyes tight. "Naw. I'm not letting you give up. So what, shit getting hard, but I refuse to let you give up, Jessica. You can't run from it. You've always been against abortion. I know you ain't thinking this all the way through. I'm not letting you make a permanent decision cause you scared and confused and that's real shit." he says.
