Chopped & Screwed

Chapter 21: Understanding

Trae has hardly talked to me lately and I'm trying to not really trip off of it. When we're at school it's basically just a hi and bye. Normally I would bug my nigga about not giving me enough attention, but now I'm like it's whatever. Whenever I bring it up to Syd she throws it off so I'm assuming she's tired of hearing about our relationship problems. Early today Trae said he wanted to take me to the history museum and I know he hates stuff like that, so I'm happy he's doing something for me. Maybe he's realizing that he shouldn't abandon the girl he says he loves. I wonder if I did something wrong? Maybe I wasn't giving him enough space or something, I hope he isn't planning on breaking up with me. I know that I'm always going through his stuff, but he's just so sneaky to me. I've put a lot into this relationship and I really love that boy.

I wore a pair of white jeans with a jean shirt and a pair of white chucks. My hair was in a bun and my edges were slicked down. I put on my favorite nude Mac lip gloss and lightly sprayed my body with perfume that smelled like chocolate. Trae loves it when I smell sweet. I was home alone and I heard Trae blowing his horn. I grabbed my purse and looked in the mirror before heading outside.

"Hi beautiful." Trae greeted me with roses in his hand.

"Are these for me?" I grinned.

"Yeah. I got flowers for my baby." He put the flowers in my hand.

"Thank you."

"I love you, Jay." He looked at me instead of the road.

"Love you too." I felt emotional for some reason.

We held hands as he drove and he didn't let me go not once. When we got there he opened the door for me and acted as a real gentlemen. The museum was big and decorated beautifully. All of the statues looked realistic and I was eager to learn the history of Houston. I could tell Trae wasn't really interested, but he pretended to be as he looked at everything. Not that many people were at the museum so we didn't have to worry about crowds.

"Trae, I love you." I know we just said it not too long ago, but I wanted to tell him again.

"I love you more." He kissed my hand.

"We haven't talked to each other in so long, I feel like we've got distant. Why?" We stopped walking to sit down.

"I know. I missed you." He didn't answer my question.

"We see each other everyday at school. Did I do something wrong? If so, I'm sorry." I finally had the guts to look him deep in the eyes.

He put his head down and said, "It's not your fault, you ain't got nothing to be sorry about. If anybody needs to be blamed its me. I'm always here for you, I just need to know if it's vice versa."

"Yeah. I just felt like I did something because you all of a sudden stopped talking to me. Are you about to break up with me?"

"No. I don't wanna leave you. But I do have to tell you something." His eyes looked as if they were watery.

"What's up?"

"There's a reason as to why I've been distant with you. This been bothering me for a while now and I couldn't be man enough to tell you. I just been working so hard to do right by you, I swear I have." He looked at the people that walked past instead of looking at me.

I know it's something bad because he always makes eye contact and now he can't even look me in the face. I really pray he doesn't say he cheated on me again, if so I'm done with him.

"And Jay, when I tell you this don't jump to conclusions. Just let me get it all out first... Remember that day you had the job interview and you came to see me? And I was acting all weird and shit. Well after you left the same girl who kept texting me told me she's pregnant. She said she four months and that its mines. If my calculations are right, it was during the time when we first got together. I admitted to you that I fucked up all those times so don't think I'm messing around. I only wanna be with you." He looked over at me and grabbed my leg, to keep me from walking away.