Her Beastly Mate *Book 2*

Chapter 25

Before I start this chapter, I'm going to explain something. I know, people are probably not liking the weak Samuel. He has depression, self hatred, and pain that he kept to himself since he could first understand them. He's twenty, imagine the multiple years that he had to hide his emotions. He was rejected by his mate, called a freak, he got the crap beaten out of him, his mother was killed for giving birth to him, and he's broken.
Depression rips people apart, slowly. It makes you feel like you're a burden, that no one can love you. You feel alone, empty, tired. It's a horrible feeling, what makes it worst is the fact you hold your emotions in. You feel as if you shouldn't say anything because people aren't going to want to hear it. It hurts. You mentally lose it and sometimes...it kills you. People with depression walk around with smiles on their faces, but if you truly study them you can see it in their eyes. They aren't happy.

Also, Samuel is completely right for blaming himself for his mother's death. Mark made it clear that he killed her because she gave birth to him. Wouldn't you hate yourself and blame yourself too?
I'm trying to make you guys all see how certain things can change a person's whole life and their outlook on life. Now that Samuel knows the truth and he's finally able to let all his pain out he's a mess.

Now, on with the story.

The next few days passed by in a blur of boredom. We continued to search for where Ryker was hiding, but it was no use. I was close to giving up, but I couldn't. The kingdom is depending on me and my family to protect it, we can't just give up so easily.
Samuel was good for a day, but after his nightmare it triggered him. He wasn't crying, he was just there. He didn't speak, he didn't show any emotion, he would just watch. It hurt to see him do this to himself, but he did tell me he wasn't safe from himself. I haven't seen any of his memories for a while, I want him to tell me himself.
At night he won't even wrap his arms around me and when I wrap mine around him he doesn't do anything. He doesn't even speak to me, it's like he just completely shut down.

I walked along the halls, not wanting to be near him. I wanted to help him, but when he's refusing the help I can't do anything. Vincent hasn't been around lately, sure he helps us search for Ryker but he's hung up on his girlfriend. I was happy for him, but he was ignoring his son. Times like these are hard for Samuel and he needs his father. I didn't say anything though, I did want Vincent to enjoy his time with his new love.

Right now my mother was with him since Emerald returned to her kingdom. I ran my hand through my hair, I can't take this much longer. I can't take how pain he's in and the emotions that are spiraling out of control. I love him, but he's not helping us with any of this! All he does is follow us, when we speak to him he just stares at us. My anger had started to flare a bit, when will he tell me everything?

I want to move on with our relationship, I even moved the wedding to be schedule a month from now. I know I told him I would wait, but why can't he tell me? I opened up to him, I have no problem telling him when something is bothering me, but he can't tell me. He doesn't trust me and that is what hurts.
He was blunt about it last night, he scribbled it onto paper and told me he couldn't trust me. We marked and mated and now he tells me he can't trust me. My heart ached at the thought, but my wolf just kept pestering me to stay. I wasn't leaving, but I know he's trying to push me away again.

I sighed as I walked back towards our too, I've had enough of this. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, I made my decision.

I shoved the doors open and asked my mother if I could talk to him alone. She nodded and walked out, softly closing the doors behind her. Samuel didn't say anything as he just watched me walk to my side of the bed. I sat down and glared at him.

"I want to know why the hell you're acting like this. You won't be able to push me away." I snapped.

He didn't say anything, he just stared at me. My temper worsened as my eyes narrowed.

"Samuel."

Still, he only stared at me with that same blank expression.

And I finally snapped.

"For fuck's sake, say something! We're all trying to help you yet you're sulking in the room! You won't speak, eat, drink, nothing. You have a child on the way and all you're thinking about is yourself. You think you're doing me a favor by pushing me away or something? You're not! I love you so much that it hurts. It hurts so much to see this happen to you, but it hurts that you clearly don't care what it's doing to us! You claim you do, but if you did you wouldn't allow it to so easily do this to you.!" I snarled.

"I can't take this anymore Samuel! What do you want, huh? Do you want me to leave you? Because that's not happening, but I will get my own room and stay away from you until you make up your mind. I'll make are there's someone always watching you just in case. I'm pregnant with your baby, and you're just going to shut me out!"

I was fuming, I couldn't handle this thing that is bothering him.

"So, I want the fucking truth. Either you tell me what is going on and help us help you or....I'm not speaking to you."

I felt horrible for doing this to him, but I've reached my limit. Enough is enough, he's going to have to deal with some tough love now.