Chapter 43

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Three days of dealing with having a mate who doesn't remember me. Well, at least remember our bond and love. I was becoming angry easily now and always on the brink of shifting. The doctor would inject me with a mixture of nightshade and wolfsbane. It would sedate my wolf for the day, leaving me vulnerable when alone.
I felt weak, not weak as can't do anything, but weak as in I'm defenseless. With barely a wolf I'm practically a human walking around werewolves. I hated this feeling, but if meant me not hurting anybody then I'm just going to ignore it. The aches and pains in my body didn't go away, they only became duller.
I hadn't seen Arabella at all, I wouldn't be able to handle seeing that coldness in her eyes again. I ran my hand through my hair as I paced my room. I have no idea what I'm going to do and I have no idea when she's going to get her memory back. The doctor said it shouldn't take long, but adding on the three days she was in the hospital for, it has been a while. It has been almost a week of her not remembering me and walking around as if we aren't mates. I'm glad she's refusing to get with any men, claiming that if we are truly mates then she doesn't want to cheat on me.
Every now and then I could hear ask someone if I was okay. I smiled a little at the obvious worry in her voice, it gave me a little hope. Her mother told me that you can't always escape fate, if we're meant to be together then we'll be together. This reassured me, but I still had my doubts.

I walked outside and stood on the back porch, looking out across the large backyard. I sat down on one of the steps and sighed, leaning my head against the railing. A stray tear rolled down my cheek at the thought of Arabella never truly loving me again. It hurt to know that I've caused this. I was the one who abused her and that this proves that I'm truly a monster. A beast.

"Samuel?"

I tensed at the sound of her voice, my jaw clenching. I swallowed, "Yes?"

I didn't look at her as she sat beside me, her eyes boring holes into the side of my face.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair again, "Just peachy."

"You're not okay...is it because of me? I'm trying to remember everything. Maybe if I was stronger, I-

I snapped my eyes to her and silenced her, "Don't you dare blame yourself. You're a very strong woman, Arabella. No matter what." I stated sternly.

Her eyes widened a little, "Th-thank you."

I smiled and nodded, but looked away again. She sighed and we sat in silence, after an hour she looked at me again.

"I'm trying to love you, but I can't. It's hard." She murmured. "Considering the abuse..."

"I know, I understand." I replied, my voice empty of emotion.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, she planted a small kiss on my cheek and got up.

I closed my eyes, the sparks were there, but she didn't show any reaction. A few more tears ran down my cheeks as I looked down. It's all my fault.

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