The Perks of Being Me (Connor Franta (O2L))

<28>

|| Alexandria's Point Of View ||

"You okay?" Someone said from behind me.
"Yeah, I'm fine Ricky" I wiped my eyes and stood up.
"Are you sure?"
"To be honest, I don't know anymore. I'm just so confused"
He took a deep breath.
"I'm going to tell you something. Just promise not to hate me"
"I promise?" I asked more than stated.
"Connor didn't break up with you because he wanted to. He broke up with you because I told him to"
"Why would you do that?" I yelled.
"You hate me now, don't you?"
"I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed"
"I'm sorry, Lexa"
"Stop calling me that. Just call me Alexis please. Lexa is kinda getting annoying"
"Okay, um, Alexis. I'm sorry. I-"
"Why would you do that to me"
"I was afraid that Connor was going to be just like Timmy. I hated him and I hated what he did to you. He started this" he grabbed my scarred wrist.
"No, Ricky, he didn't. You did"
He turned pale.
"I-I did?"
"Go back three years and think. What did you do that could've started this"

<<<Flashback>>>

"Ricky! Can you help me with our stupid math project?"
"Hold on"
"What could you possibly be doing that's more important than our math project?"
"I'm making my video"
"Ricky, you've got four days to make it! I don't want to do all the work"
He just ignored me and kept talking to his camera, so I just walked over there and turned the cam off.
"What was that for?"
"Help me with the project!"
"Just go away!"
"No!"
"You always do this and I hate it! My life would be so much better if mom hadn't found you!"
I just stood there, tears building up in my eyes.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Lexa. I don't know why I said that"
"Just go finish your stupid video, since that's more important than me"

<<<End of Flashback>>>

"I still have no idea why I would say that to you. Do you know how bad I felt after that and how long it haunted me?"
"Then why did you say it?"
"I don't know! I guess it just slipped out of my mouth"
"Whatever. It was three year ago"
"No, whatever. I'm going to make it up to you"
"You have fun trying"
***
I ended up going back to the hotel for the rest of the night and do what every girl does when they're heartbroken or in pain; drown their sorrows in Ice Cream while ranting on social media websites.
My phone suddenly started buzzing off the hook. I got about twelve different messages asking where I was.
I decided to only text back one person.

Me: Im back at the hotel
Connor: oh thank god. I was so worried. Ricky had no idea where you were after he walked inside expecting you to follow him
Me: don't worry. I'm fine
Connor: I would come help you but I'm, uh, busy
Me: Ricky told me what he did
Connor: good. do you mind if I come over after VidCon and we talk? Everybody else is going out to eat but I can just skip
Me: you don't have to
Connor: I want to
Me: okay, I'll see you then I guess.

I put my phone on my desk and opened my jar of ice cream. Then I got a call.

"Hello?"
"Alexandria? Honey?"
"Mom?"