Secrets of Adeline (Book 2)

Chapter 8: nightmare

This time, I knew it was a dream. I knew it was a dream because it started with Jake again. It begun with his voice, calling out my name.

"Adeline." He whispered. "Adeline, wake up." And I did. Or at least I dreamt I did. I was conscious of my surroundings the entire time, although I couldn't control anything but my thoughts. And all my thought were saying, was wake up.

I opened my eyes, Jake shaking me awake. "I came back for you, Adeline. Don't you see? I love you." He pleaded. "Your not real." I growled. "What do you mean, I'm not real? Of course I'm real! See?" And with that, he reached his hand out and touched my cheek. I turned my head in dismay. "I'm real. It's me, I'm here. Right here, right now. I'm here." He assured me softly. His pleading eyes reached into mine, but I knew better. "Your not real. You don't love me. You never have and you sure's in the hell never will. Knowing you, you only want what's bad for you." I snapped harshly.

There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but it would be a waste. Still, I took advantage of the moment. To say all the things I have wanted to say but was too scared to do so.

His wounded eyes pleaded for me to say those three words back. Instead, I said what needed to be said. "Don't you dare ever look into my eyes with all the lies your throwing at me. You don't love me. You don't care about me! Now that she's gone, now that she left you alone like you left me... You've come back to me because your bored. Because maybe I did love you... But I loved you for all the wrong reasons. And yet I always knew you never would... You never could love me back. Still, I told myself to hold on, told myself I didn't deserve to let go. I made myself pretend to believe you needed me, that you wanted me, in hope that maybe one day you actually would. But I should've known better. I shouldn't have stared into your brown eyes. I shouldn't have let myself love you. I should've walked away the second I laid my eyes on you. But I didn't... And you know why? I have this theory that... you weren't the same person I made eye contact with that day." I spoke harsh and emotionless words. I didn't have to explain to him what day because he already knew.

It was last school year, all my friends gathered around the lunch table. The cafeteria voices bounced from wall to wall. People were laughing, eating food, talking to friends. I sat next to Jake, almost shoulder to shoulder. It was the day I let myself love him for just a second.

He was telling some dumb story, being himself. He wore a football jersey and his hair was messed every which way. He looked like he had just gotten out of practice but I wasn't sure. His teeth sunk into the pizza he now held, smiling at me as he chewed. I looked up from my plate, into his eyes. His smile caught my attention. he was humming something. A rhythm I couldn't put my finger on. I laughed and shook my head, my eyes meeting with my feet again. I remember telling myself, "your stupid, you know? You shouldn't love him. But you do. And it's okay." Although, I somehow knew it wasn't going to be okay. The look in his eyes shone that he had similar thoughts. He must've loved me for a second. But only a second. Returning to reality, I still stared at his face. My glare burned into him, causing him to take a step back.

His arms dropped to his side, he stumbled backward. I heard him swallow, never allowing himself to look back into my eyes. "Adeline." He whispered once more.

I shot up in bed, my forehead dripping with sweat. Kat lay next to me, sleeping soundly. I checked the time, the clock showing the time to be 12:04 a.m. And that's when I realized, it was my birthday. Too afraid to go back to sleep in fear of what I might see next, I clicked on my phone. It lit up with a text message. It was from Jake. I shook my head. "This isn't real." I whispered in the darkness. This isn't real, I thought as I curled up in a ball and swayed back and forth in the darkness. Taking a deep breath, I reached for the phone once more. 12:05. I swiped open the message.

"Happy birthday." It read from Jake.
"Thanks. Means a lot." I typed back. Although, it left a sickening feeling in my stomach, I thanked him. "Np." He wrote back. "Ok, well thanks again, but I'm going to bed. Night." I half heartedly pressed send. "Goodnight." He wrote back. It was just a glimpse of what our old conversations used to be like, although it was shorter and more sad. At that moment I knew, it was real. Sadly, the message was real. I was awake and it wasn't a dream. And then I began to wonder why he even bothered to message me happy birthday, if he didn't care. I guess I will never know.