Chapter 66 - Oh, No He Didn't

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A buzzing sound wakes both of us up. Me and Ella.

Not George and I, you pervs.

Although I’d like that too, so let’s call it even.

"5 more minutes" I groan placing a pillow over my head.

"It’s your alarm" she laughs getting out of bed.

"Just hit the snooze button please" I reply.

"Okay" she says "I’ll be in the loo"

I hear the bathroom door closing and take the pillow off my head, I find myself starring at the ceiling. It was monday and I found myself still staying in the Corinthia. Amelia had packed her stuff and moved back to her flat alone, with the promise of dragging me back to her apartment if she heard any trouble about me. 

I didn’t have any real trouble. I had an excellent behavior, the Xtra Factor crew seemed to love me and Richard Holloway did nothing but compliment me. The only thing that didn’t make me the exemplar girl was my secret relationship with one of the contestants, I didn’t even know if that was allowed…but what the hell.

After George left my old room last night I wanted to punch myself. I always always complicate things and get attached and love everyone more, it’s just a thing that I do and it sucks. Sucks a lot.

"Don’t say you love him when he probably just likes you" My subconscious adds.

I had this fear inside me, I  was planning on never saying that phrase. How could I when I was leaving? But that little word “probably” wasn’t that certain and I clinged onto it with the little bit of hope that was left in me.

My attempts on not telling him were getting weaker each day. I felt like every time that I saw him the words just wanted to spill out of my mouth. Luckily I had held my tongue until now but I knew that soon enough the words would be out.

I just wanted to avoid being hurt.

"The 5 minutes are up!" I hear the toilet flushing as Ella comes out of the bathroom.

"Okay" I sigh, rolling my eyes.

"Don’t you dare give me that look Ms.Carter" she jokes.

"Oh, please forgive me Ms.Henderson" I grimace at her before heading to the bathroom myself.

I take a quick shower and blow dry my hair. Today I decide to start the week with a new look, a dress. Usually I never wear them, I didn’t think that I could ever pull one off. But it’s a sunny day outside and my floral dress seems like the perfect outfit. I complete the look with a white cardigan and gladiator sandals. 

We head downstairs for breakfast and end up joining District3, Rylan and Jahmene.

"Excited for this week?" I ask everyone.

"It depends" Dan replies.

"How so?" I question him.

"Will you be there?" 

"Hum, yeah, probably" I respond.

"Then yeah, I am excited" he smiles. His flirting is obvious to me and I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. Oh, no he didn’t. 

I stay quiet and return to him with a small smile. Ella looks at me from the corner of the table and then directly to Dan. She has a smirk plastered on her face. I mouth a “stop” to her.

"So, where’s everyone?" I ask again, referring to the rest of the contestants when actually I just want to know where’s George since he didn't text me this morning.

"James is long gone, early rehearsals" Rylan responds "And I think the boys from Union J went with him"

"Kye and Chris too" Jahmene adds.

"Then we are the only ones left" Greg says "We should go"

"I agree" Ella nods getting out of her seat.

The 6 X factor contestants and I head to the entrance of the hotel where the cars are waiting. Ella and I enter in one of the two cars and as I am almost closing the door a figure stops me.

"Do you mind if we join you?" Dan asks, looking right into my eyes.

"Hum, sure" I gulp. Feeling a bit uncomfortable from his earlier flirt.

He, Micky and Greg enter inside our vehicle and I find myself sitting by his side, oh lovely.

It’s not that I have something against Dan or anything, he’s a good-looking guy, I hear he’s quite the ladies man and that are many girls that would kill just to be on my seat.

But I have a boyfriend, who happens to be his friend and also in the same competition as him. So, yeah, no.

I smile awkwardly when I catch him looking at me, then turn to face the window with the hopes that he will stop.

I keep thinking to myself how crazy the world is. I mean how the fuck do I seem to be some sort of boy magnet in London but in Brazil I’m basically a sack of potatoes.

It’s strange how in other countries you are more appreciated and valued than in your own. I’ll tell you, it makes your self-esteem rise to a space level, but it’s turns into a mess when you already have someone.

Of course, I feel very deeply lucky to have George and I don’t think I ever wanna trade him for anyone or anything, especially when I love him but have no courage to tell him.

Oh, delightful combination.

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