Hopeless Love • GD

Chapter 4️⃣6️⃣

Emilys Pov
I slept over Grayson house last night, we talked the whole time. For hours and hours we talked and talked. We talked it out and I think were okay now. Kinda.Sorta.Maybe.ugh hopefully. I dont even want to see Ethan at the moment, its so awkward and theres this tension. I dont know what kind of tension,im just hopeful its not sexual. But instead i decided to go and talk to Johanna instead. I was currently walking over to her house. All of us live close to each other , everybodys about a 5 minuet walk from everybodys house. By everybody i mean my friends. But anyways i walked up to Johannas house and slowly knocked on the door. Her mom opened the door. "Hola Johanna esta?"I asked quietly. "Si esta arriba"Her mom said as she opened the door. Her mom has always been so understanding. I quickly went up the stairs and into Johannas room. Her door was closed but it doesnt have a lock on it so I walked in. "Hi bestfriend"I said as I walked in. "Shut the fuck were not bestfriends"She muffled from her pillow. She was laying on her bed with her head stuffed in her pillow. "Yes we are, we will always be bestfriends no matter what"I said as I slowly sat down on her bed. "No were not bestfriends anymore since you slept with the love of my life"She muffled again.. "Wait hold up ex-love of my life"she corrected herself.  "Yes we are,hes still the love of your life and get your head outta there ,you cant breath" I said as i tried to take the pillow away from her. I was always so caring and concerned for her. Always made her eat if she havent. Always brought her favorite food when she breaks up with someone. Always cut off the niggas dick who hurt her. "Get the fuck away from me"She yelled as she hit me with the pillow. "Bitch"I said as i grabbed a pillow and hit her back. Then she hit me back and i hit her back and suddenly we were in a pillow fight. We continued to hit each other with pillows until her lazy ass got tired and layed down on the bed and my clumsy ass fell on the floor. I got up and I did the same, laying down on my back facing the ceiling next to her. "Do you hate me?"i asked. "No, i could never" "are you mad?" "A little...im hurt very hurt, i dont know how you could do this to me Emily. We're bestfriends. I just dont understand,been bestfriends since the first day of school, all i wanna do is cry cause i feel like i cant trust you or Ethan,the only 2 people i trust most in my life"she said while tears start to fall down her cheeks. "I know, and i feel horrible, i feel like dying, i betrayed you and Grayson. I fixed things with Grayson, he said he forgave me cause i forgave him all the times he did it. But Johanna i don't know how to fix us. We dont argue,we dont fight, so i dont know what to do except say sorry."I sighed. "Why?"she asked. "Why what?"i asked back. "Whyd you sleep with him?"She said as she shuttered saying it. "I was drunk and they had slipped something in my cup. I was like high and woozy and drunk and dizzy and i barely knew what i was doing. When we first started dancing together i knew it was Ethan. But we werent dancing like a couple, we were dancing as friends and then something hit me and i just let loose and i forgot who i was dancing with and who i was dating and who my bestfriend was. I barely remember, i just remember being pulled up the stairs and being laid down on the bed, then i remember getting this horrible feeling in my stomach ,like this feeling that i just wanted to die and burst out in tears and I'm just so fucking sorry Johanna"I said as an ocean of tears fell down my face. "I forgive you,  I understand i guess, you've already though enough and i know you need your bestfriend so i understand"Johanna sighs. "So are we good?"I ask as i wiped my tears with my sleeve. "Buy me some chipotle and starbucks and then yea were good"She laughed. "So what are you gonna do about Ethan?"I asked. "I dont know, i mean i obviously still wanna be with him but im not sure if i can trust him"Johanna said as a tear fell down her cheek. "Johanna he cheated with me,one of his closest friends and-"I said but she cut me off. "Exactly, one of his closest friends, if he did it with someone i thought he never would, how can i trust him going to the mall with girls surrounding him or going on tour with 500 girls begging to be pounded by him"Johanna says. "Because he already has gone on tour and never cheated, he already has gone to the mall and never cheated, he went to a party and got drunk and high and roofied, he had no mentality of what he was doing or saying, we would've never had sex if we knew what we were doing Johanna"I told her. "Your right"She sighed. "But that doesn't make me trust him again, I can't change how i feel"She said. I grabbed her phone and went to Ethans contact, i texted him. "What you text him?"Johanna asked. "To come over ,yall needa talk"I said as i got up. "Ugh fuck"Johanna said as she slammed her head in the pillow once again.