Diamond in the Rough (Seventeen and Bangtan Fanfic)

58: Never

Jun's POV

"WHAT??!?" Everyone exclaimed and looked at the four like they were crazy.

"Uh....What?" Jungkook asked quizzically, "What do you mean?"

"Okay so..." Rika started speaking, and my heart suddenly relaxed. I didn't even realised it was tensed this whole time. Hearing her gentle and clear voice was something I hadn't heard for a long time now. All I ever got every time I visited her was slow nods or weak smiles. 

"So...Eomma left me this photoframe and a letter," she smiled at Mingyu. I felt my jaw tighten by itself as he shuffled nearer to her and had to force myself to relax. 

I shook my head angrily.

God, Jun. Would you please stop? Stop being immature and jealous when Rika is finally speaking and looking alright now. So what if the first person she smiles at isn't you? 

You should be happy that she's even smiling at someone. You should be satisfied that she's okay.

You should be.

You should be happy for her as long as she's happy with someone, even if it's not you. 

And yet, my heart broke at the memory of the past week. Every time I visited her, she'd refuse to speak to me, and only me. 

"And...in her last words she told me that I had a brother. But when my father, Han-sajangnim of Pledis, decided to be with his mistress and have Han Hyorin, they forced eomma to give one of us away. Apparently..." Rika looked down, a look of hurt and perplexion in her forehead, "My twin oppa ran away by himself just so I could stay with eomma. He ran away all alone...and.." Rika winced, almost holding back a tear, "I think he's been alone all this time. At first I wondered if he was still alive at all. Maybe he died, and maybe it was my fault..but..." Rika broke into a sob now and I jolted up from the bed, ready to hug her and comfort like I did once upon a time, on the balcony of Pledis Entertainment. 

Like once upon a time, when I was the first one she met— the first one who cared. And even after that night on the rooftop, where I jumped for her. But Mingyu was there first, like he was all that time while she stayed in her room and refused to come out or speak to anyone. 

No.

In fact, she spoke to everyone, even if it was just a few words, but me. I've seen it. I had seen Mingyu hugging her to comfort her, even Jungkook as well. But she refused to see me every time I went to visit her.

I wince as the memory of those scenes resurfaced in my mind. Rika pushing me away, refusing to see me or speak to me at all. 

How come suddenly everything has changed? Ever since those few days, her attitude flipped around. Suddenly she seemed so distant, so far away like a balloon on a string. I was trying so hard to keep her here, but every time I pulled her back, she'd just fly away. It really felt like the only thing left was a whimsy string that I was holding onto desperately, hoping she wouldn't just fly away.

Just what did I do wrong, Rika? Even after I risked my life on that one stormy night.

Why are you pushing me away?