Lost

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Silence.......

The death of my mother made me want to live in silence. I feel as though silence could give myself peace. But at this point, I couldn't find any of it. Aunt Julie told me that my mom somehow found a way to get drugs into her facility, and I guess there was a disagreement over who got what and she was beaten to death by the other prison mates in her block. The corenor told us she would've died anyways from the pills if she didn't die from the attack. Julie is having me stay over at Finn's for the week while she goes back to Monroe to let everyone in my family know and figure out funeral arrangements. I couldn't wrap my head around talking about my mother any more, for I felt my emotions would get the best of me every time I opened my mouth. I wasn't angry at the situation, I was just upset and confused.

"Camileon." Finn softly rubbed my hair as he woke me from another nightmare. I used the palm of my hand to wipe my sweat and tears from my eyes. "Sorry." I mummbled before resting my head back down on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat as him and I fell back asleep again. When I woke up in the morning, I found my face stained with more tears. Finn was still in bed with me watching Spongebob on tv. "Babe you're gonna be late for school." I rolled over to face him after looking at the clock. "I'm not going today." He replied patting the spot on his chest where I laid last night. I scooted over and rested my head back on his upper pec and draped my arm a crossed his chest.

"But what about football? Won't Coach Bieste be upset?" I looked up at him. He put a sly smile on his face and looked down at me. He softly kissed the top of my head and grazed my back with the tip of his fingers. "Look, you stayed with me when I was going through a rough time. Now it's my turn to repay you." He explained continuing to watch tv. I smiled to myself and watched it with him until Carol called us downstairs for breakfast.

After putting my boot on and taking forever to get downstairs, I slowly sat down at the island counter and scooted my chair in. "Hey baby, how'd you sleep?" Carol came over and kissed the side of my head. "Just enough to get me through the day." I side smiled. Finn sat next to me and put his hand on my thigh. "What would you like? I made eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast." Carol asked grabbing a plate. "Eggs and sausage please." "And I already know Finn you want everything." Carol laughed. I thanked her when she sat the plate down and started picking around at it. "Today I'm heading downtown to the market to just look around and maybe get some things, would you two like to tag along?" Carol asked as she bent over the counter and ate with us. "Actually, she is gonna be with me today." Finn said.

I turned my head to him and became confused. He didn't tell me we were going anywhere. "Oh, alright then." Carol smirked, "you two have fun." We all finished eating and I headed back upstairs. I grabbed a muscle tank top, jeans, and my converse and put all of it on. Once I had my boot back on, I put my hair up and and pulled a few pieces out to make it messy. I put Finn's necklace on and walked back downstairs. "You ready babe?" He asked grabbing his keys. "I'll be ready when I know where I'm going." I joked. He smiled and we headed out to his truck. After helping me into it, he got in himself and started driving.

I watched out the window at anything that passed by just to clear my head. Finn reached his hand over and held mine and continued to drive. We drove on a bridge that was built over a lake. I remember when my mom would take me to the lake during the summer. I'd always swim and try to touch the fish while she sat on the very end of the shore and let the current come up to her. She'd chase me around with fat bullfrogs until we were out of breathe. Then once we got done, we would hose off in a shower the park provided and eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches. My mother was beautiful women. Her hazel eyes, long brown hair, freckles across her cheeks. I miss her.

I wiped a tear from my eyes and held my runny nose. "You alright?" Finn asked. My face squinted up and I let out a small sob. I felt the truck shift over to the side and come to a stop. Finn's door opened and then shut. I sobbed into my hands as my door opened. I looked to my side and Finn was standing there. The truck was very tall, but Finn was as tall as it, so he was face to face with me. "Finn I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm so lost." I cried. "It's okay to be Camileon. You will be." He turned me so my feet dangled out of the truck and I was facing him. "But I want you to know I'll be here every step of the way to help you." He frowned and used his hands to softly dry my tears. "I don't want to ruin whatever we're doing but at the same time, I just can't stop thinking about her."

He rested his hand on my scarred cheek and rubbed it softly. "We've been through so much together. I'm here for you. We're gonna have a good day today, and we'll get through everything that's coming up, okay?" I nodded and put my hand on the one he had on my cheek. He slowly leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss. I smiled to him as I turned around and he shut his door. He got back in and returned onto the road.

I am so lucky to have Finn. He's my anchor that keeps me in place, and I need all the anchorage I can get at this point.

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