Ilang beses akong nagising kagabi. The first one was around two a.m. when I felt someone was actually with me.
Iyong pangalawa ay dahil sa pagbangon ni Ram. He's out on the balcony only wearing a bathrobe. Hulmado ng malamig na simoy ng gabi ang kaniyang hininga't usok na nagmula sa hawak na sigarilyo. He seemed to be in a deep thought until I realized that he's on the phone. The muscles on his back and neck were tensed as he talked.
The third and last was like a dream. I was floating as I felt kisses raining on my throat. He took me again.
Noong mataas na nang araw ay tsaka pa lang ako nagising. Kumulot kusa ang katawan ko dahil sa naramdamang hapdi. My thighs were sore, my back and my shoulders were sore, so I wouldn't really be surprised if my eyes were sore too!
"Good morning," whispered Ram in his bedroom voice.
I peeked at him through one eye. His hair was gloriously messed up, the tale of last night perfectly showing. Mahinahon ang pagtaas-baba ng kaniyang hubad na dibdib, at nang bumaba pa ang aking tingin ay natabingan na iyon ng aking floral na comforter.
"Y-Yeah. Whatevs." May bahagyang panlalaki ang aking mga mata nang umiwas ng tingin.
What? Its not everyday I woke up to some greek god or something! A naked, very proud, and illegally hot greek god that's staring me right at the moment. Damn it.
"You slept good?" Ram used a light tone.
I flinched and I looked at him. There was absolutely no humor in his eyes that I slapped his broad chiseled chest. Ang tigas noon at ang init kaya binawi ko rin ang palad.
"Yes, but its still not enough," maikli kong bulong at inayos ang pagkakapulupot ng comforter sa aking dibdib.
Umayos ako ng upo at hinanda ang sariling tumayo ngunit nakakaupo pa lamang ako'y napapikit na ako sa sakit. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang hapdi sa bandang iyon! Na ginawa talaga namin ang mga...iyon kagabi.
"Leaving me so soon?" Hinila ako ni Ram pabalik at dumausdos ako sa kaniyang dibdib.
My lips touched his chest so I pulled away fast. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I heard him chuckling. The damn bastard! Lumapat ang kaniyang palad sa aking likod, sadya itong nilalagyan ng pwersa upang huwag akong makaalis pa.
"What do you 'not enough'? Hmm? You...want to go again?"
"What?! That's not what I meant! I meant, my sleep, is not enough. Kulang ako sa tulog. Hindi sa ano!" I reddened even more.
"Okay..." He nodded, eyes with humor. His hands started to gently tap my lower back, and I stretched above him like a cat. "How do you feel right now?"
"Not good. Ma...hapdi." I put my palms on his chest and it immediately felt warm too.
"Thank you for being honest. I'm sorry for being so rough last night..."
"Hindi naman ganoon karahas. Siguro, uhmm, I'm not just used to it since..."
"Since?" May hamon sa mga mata ni Ram na mabilis na nagdilim. He poked at that question like he spat the word.
"Since you've been the only one," sabi ko at kinagat ang labi. "Ever."
"I love you. I love you so much, Cristina," tanging kaniyang sinabi habang pilit na hinuhuli ang aking mga mata. Nang hindi ito makuntento ay siyang humalik sa aking noo.
Something crazy was happening inside me, making me all warm and fuzzy. Tila ba hindi naging sapat ang pisikal na init galing kay Ram ay inatake naman niya ang aking kalooban. My mind was fast to save that memory, and my heart was too slow to recover from it.
