The vampire's maid

Chapter 63

I continue to walk around in Johnathan's huge garden while looking up to his window every now and then.

The cool snow is burning into my skin while the wind is blowing my hair against my arms and back, slapping me painfully. My white dress wouldn't save me from freezing but since I can't die anyway... Because I am already dead... I don't really care.

Will he really do it?

Will he free me?

But that would kind of force him to kill me again... Wouldn't it?

I stare at his standing figure while he is staring at me. After a few more seconds he lets go of the curtain and leaves his spot. Not being able to see him anymore I look down at my pale and blue looking feet.

It's funny... I don't even have a real body, nor am I alive but as long as I wear that necklace I practically am... Well I still don't have to eat and I can't die but I can feel. I feel every touch or cut on my 'skin'.

Maybe it's better like this. Even if no one I like is able to see me. Well since I don't really like anyone...-

And why should I want that? I told him that I want to die anyway so there is no going back for me.

I guess he would be ok  if I did change my mind but I won't.

I have to do this.

I have to be strong for once.

I have to finish it.

No more pain.

I smile to myself and let myself fall into the snow, letting it cool my 'body' and enjoying the burning sensation on my slightly numb skin.

"Are you sure?

Is this really what you want?" A voice echoes through my head.

"Yes. Yes, it is." I say out loud. I open my eyes again to see an old friend of mine. "So, so. The legendary mate. Scared that you won't have anybody left to creep out? Don't worry about it. Your love, Johnathan already has a new maid. Go and play with her."

"Do you even understand?" She says in disbelief.

I just give her an confused look before closing my eyes. "No but I guess you don't have to worry about that. I just hope I can die soon. And this time for good."

She sighs before walking off. "Think about it and you will understand."

I open my eyes and get up. "Please, for once... Can't you just tell me what you want me to know? This is getting slightly annoying." I let myself fall back since she is gone already. "God." I breathe out.

I have to finish what I tried so many times, what he did for me but couldn't finish in the end.

I have to be strong one last time.

I clench my hands into fists, pressing the snow inside them together and turning it into ice.

I let out one last breath before closing my eyes again.

Comfortable darkness surrounds me and drags me deeper into its embrace than ever, not leaving any space for thoughts or anything. Just silence and darkness. No feelings, no pain, no thoughts, no problems and nothing alive or dead.

But suddenly a bad feeling appears, making me cringe. Someone or something is dragging me forcefully out of my piece of peace much to my dismay.

I feel myself returning to a body and light shining onto my eyes. I want to go back into the darkness but I know there is no going back now. Something inside of me is pushing me to wake up so I open my eyes but not without protecting them from the bright light.

"God you're finally awake." Johnathan says.

I look around but don't recognize the room I am in. "Where am I?" I ask him.

"Don't worry, love. You're here with me. Nothing could ever happen to you."

"That wasn't my question." I point out.

"Alright, Martha. Just come with me." He says while holding out an arm for me to grab.

I want to protest and to say that my name isn't Martha but the words wouldn't come out.

I guess this is another vision of the past. Alright, Martha. Show me what you want me to know so badly. I think while grabbing his arm and putting on a fake smile.
-----------------------------------------------------------Okaaay... I guess I will finally tell you what Martha wants from Amanda. And I will tell you about Ho-nique too... And a few other things...

Since my book already has so many chapters I guess I should just spill a few more beans before going on XD

Well I hope you like the new chapter <3

Love, kisses and cuddles

Mel<3