Poison (discontinued)

26

WARNING: This chapter contains contents that may be sensitive for some readers so if you find sexual abuse a topic you can't read skip through the italic writing!


Rose's POV


I wake up to the sounds of someone in the kitchen. I bet it's probably mum trying to surprise us with a feast of a breakfast. I let my eyes flutter open but slam them shut immediately. The sun is too bright for this time of morning.

Memories from last night come flooding back filling my body with euphoria. I know all we did was make out but I can't help the feeling of connectedness I have with Harry. I feel as though after last night we're closer than we've ever been. The way he moaned my name was incredible. It sent shivers rocketing down my spine.

The little girl inside me still has a burning rage directed at him and I can't help but let her take over. He doesn't regret sending those men to my house. He doesn't regret sending those men to kill my father. He doesn't regret giving his drunk, abusive, drug addict father a second chance. A memory of Harry's father seeps it's way from a place I buried it deep in my mind and causes my eyes to well up.

"Mum can I see if Harry wants to play?" I stand on my tippy toes so I can see behind the counter where mum is standing. She's very pretty. One of the prettiest people I've ever seen. I hope I look like her one day.

"Of course, but let me fix you up first." She moves around the counter and bends down so she's at my height. Her fingers fiddle with the buttons on my overalls until she's content with how they're sitting. "Make sure you're home for lunch though."

I promise to be home in time and skip away leaving my mum to finish cleaning in the kitchen. It takes me less than a minute to reach Harry's front door. Since we have no side fence out the front I can walk straight from my front door to his. Although mummy always tells me to walk around and use the footpath. She says that's more polite but I don't care. I knock on the door in a pattern that reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.

"Rose," Harry's dad answers the door. His voice sounds like a purr a cat would make. It creeps me out.

"Is Harry home?" I get straight to the point. Harry's dad is wearing a grey t-shirt with a hole near the armpit and stains all down the front. It's gross.

"He's out with his mum but he should be home soon. Do you want to come inside?" I don't think anything of it and nod following him inside. "You can wait in Harry's room. I'll come check on you in a moment."

I nod once again and walk the familiar route to Harry's bedroom. His bed is covered in toy cars and he even has a race car mat on his floor. The walls are covered in posters and stickers of race cars too. He wants to be a race car driver when he's older. I push his cars to the end of the bed and lay on it to wait for Harry. Sometimes I call him Thorn because that's what everyone calls him when he's with me. You can't have a rose without it's thorns. Harry's dad comes inside Harry's room and shuts the door behind him.

"We're going to play a game." He tells me. I feel a huge grin plastered on my face. I love games. "It's called touchies. We have to keep this game a secret though. Only me and you can know."

"Okay," I smile. This could be fun. I really want to win.

"So what happens is I touch you then you touch me." This sounds silly. I've never heard of this before.

"How do you win?" I ask trying to work out how I can beat him. I hate losing.

"I'll tell you if you win okay?" I'm still not sure I understand but I nod anyway. "Okay here we go."

He stretches out his arm with outstretched fingers and rubs my private part. Mummy would not like this game at all. Not one bit.

"This is where you score the most points you see," he points to where he touched me then to where his private part is hidden away in his pants. "The harder you squeeze the more points you get."

I don't really want to play this anymore but I do want to win. I decide if I squeeze the highest scoring place as hard as I can I will win easily and the game will end. I reach out and place my hand on his pants and squeeze tightly wrapping my fingers over the budge.

"That's it," he encourages me. I feel his part go hard and I flinch snapping my hand away. That's enough I think.

"Do I win?" I ask eager to know if I beat him or not.

"The games not over yet." Oh. I thought I would have just won. He reaches both hands out this time and lightly squeezes my chest. I hear the front door open and so does Harry's dad. "Okay you won. Remember to keep this game a secret. Don't tell anyone."

That was the first time it happened. Of course back then I didn't know what was going on. As I got older I realized what he was doing and tried to stop it but he was too overpowering. Nobody knows about this. Not Harry, not my mum, not anyone. I kept it to myself just like he told me to but not because he wanted me to. I kept his secret because it makes me feel weak and dirty. If I ever see that man again I will have no problem ripping his balls off. In the heat of the moment the tears in my eyes have spilled over onto my cheeks. I rub my eyes furious with myself that I let that memory back in. That I let it effect me in this way.

When I think my eyes are clear enough I slide out of bed and stroll to the kitchen hungry for breakfast. Once again Harry has surprised me, this time by standing in the kitchen behind a frying pan filled with pancakes.

"Uh, your mum got called into work and told me to make myself at home. I hope you like pancakes," Harry's cheeks redden as he gives his explanation.

"Who doesn't like pancakes," I smile a small smile and take a seat on one of the bar stools and watch Harry cook. He looks at me momentarily before flipping one of the pancakes.

"Is something wrong?" His question gets me off guard. I thought I was hiding it well.

"No," I lie. He can't know what put me in this horrid mood. No one can know. Ever.

"Don't lie to me Rose." His tone is serious. I need to think of a lie.

"Am I that easy to read?" I try to steer the conversation into another direction.

"Yes. And your eyes are puffy and you have mascara down your cheeks." Damn it. I forgot to take off my makeup last night. Of course my mascara would have run when I was crying. "Now tell me what's wrong."

Should I tell him? Maybe then he would regret what he did. But he'll see me as weak. Not strong enough to keep myself together. Not strong enough to ignore the past. But the memories are like poison. I can't ignore them. They're too strong for me.

"Earth to Rose." Harry waves the spatula in front of my face. I didn't realize I'd zoned out for a second.

"I don't think you want to know." It's the truth. I really don't think he wants to know why I was crying.

"Of course I do. Just tell me." He lifts the last pancakes from the frying pan and moves them to the plate overfilled with pancakes.

"It's hard for me to tell you. I haven't told anyone before." I don't want to dive straight in spilling me deepest secrets.

"Maybe it'll be good for you to talk about it then?" He grabs a stool and moves it to his side of the bench. I don't say anything for a while considering whether I really want to tell him or not.

"It's about your dad." I tell him and wait for a response. Maybe this will change his mind.

"Go on," he nods assuringly.

"When we were little he tricked me into playing games with him." It's easier to say then I ever imagined it would be. I think it's because maybe now someone will be able to share the same hatred I have for this man even if it's his son. Harry seems confused. "He tricked me into touching him and letting him touch me. As I got older I realized it was wrong but I couldn't stop it. He was too overpowering. He threatened me too. It got worse as time went on, when I knew it wasn't a game."

Harry doesn't speak. His eyes give away what he's thinking. First anger, then pity, then disbelief. He doesn't believe me. I should have known this would happen.

"I know you don't believe me but it's the truth. Your dad deserves to die. Not mine." Harry shuts down. No emotion is given away through his facial features. His breathing is deep and even. He silently stands from the bench and exits the room leaving me by myself. "Fuck you Harry!" I scream after him.

I told him one of my deepest secrets. A secret that has haunted my mind since I was little. A secret that had haunted my dreams and every waking moment. I told him and he just walked away without a sound. Not one word. I can't help the tears and sobs that escape. I've held these in way too long. Today is the first time I've cried over this. I was so strong. At least I thought I was strong. This proves my point. Telling someone made me weak. I sure as hell will not be making the same mistake again.



Harry's POV

She's got to be lying. She's probably trying to turn me against my dad so I'll regret what I did. I told her if I could change it I would. Why couldn't that he enough for her? Fuck. I know my dad was messed up but he'd never do that.

Oh great now she's crying. I can hear her from my room. She should be a fucking actor. She's putting on quite the show. Why would she go to these lengths to make me regret it though? Maybe she is telling the truth. I'd be fucked if I knew. I know my dad. He would never even think of doing something like that. Would he? Fuck. I need some air.

I rip off my t-shirt and throw it down onto the floor. The shorts I have on now will be fine for running so I pull on my runners and lace them up as fast as I can. I have to pass the kitchen where Rose is fake crying so I take long strides ignoring her the entire time until I make it outside into the cool air. I don't know where I'm going but I run. I run as fast and as hard as I can in one direction. Away from Rose.

I don't know what time I left and I don't know what time I reached this park but I am completely out of breath. I sprawl out on the grass and try to catch melt breath.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What if Rose wasn't lying and I just left her crying to herself? That would make me the biggest jerk to ever walk this planet. But she's got to be lying, she has to be.

Maybe trying to rekindle outlet friendship was a huge mistake. I wouldn't have all this fucked up shit going on if I hadn't. I would be out getting smashed with my friends. Damn it. Maybe if I call my dad and ask him. Then I would know for sure. I didn't bring my phone with me but I know I have spare change in my pocket so I wander around until I find a public phone box. I slide the coins in the slot, dial dad's number and wait for him to answer.

"Hello?" He answers the phone on the fifth ring. Hearing his voice reassures me that I'm right. He wouldn't do anything like this.

"It's Harry." I tell him realizing he would have no idea who's number this is.

"What can I do for you?" He asks completely unsuspecting what's to come.

"I need to ask you a question." I wait for him to respond.

"Okay shoot." He gives me permission to ask.

"Did you ever touch Rose? Our next door neighbour when I was little." I remind him of who I'm talking about. He probably doesn't remember her name. He stays silent. "Dad?"

The line cuts off. He hung up on me. What's that supposed to mean? Is he angry that I would ever ask him such a thing or embarrassed that I know what he did? Fucking hell. I know what I need to do. I need to comfort Rose even if I don't believe her story. Yet.




Rose's POV

I hear the front door close and I instantly know who it is. If mum got called in to work she won't be home for hours. I don't want to look at Harry. He's a jerk. I race to my room before he has the chance to say anything and lock my door behind me. I can't believe I actually thought we could be together last night. He has way too much control over my emotions.

"Rose?" He speaks through my door. I don't say anything and just stare at the door. My doorknob begins to wriggle and I can tell he's trying to open it. "Let me in. Please."

"Go away Harry. You're a dick." I just want him to leave me alone. It's going to be hard enough sitting with him at dinner tonight pretending everything's okay in front of my mum and her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry. Please just let me be here for you." No way am I letting him try and get under my skin. I've been so lenient towards him. Practically forgiving him for what he did just so he can be an absolute prick and leave me alone crying when I told him my darkest secret.

"Leave me alone." I throw a pillow at the door and it makes a loud noise before making a light thud when it hits the floor.

"I'm not going anywhere until you unlock this door." He's so infuriating.

"Just fuck off Harry!" I yell at the door imagining him standing there.

"Nope," he chirps. I scramble from the bed and storm to the door. I just about pull the handle off when I unlock the door an yank it open.

"You're so fucking annoying. The door's unlocked now leave me alone. You're a dick and I don't want you anywhere near me. We're going to pretend everything's okay today and then we're leaving straight after lunch and you will stay far away from me. I told you something so scary for me and you ran off. You're the biggest jerk I've ever met. Oh and just so you know I don't regret kissing you last night but if I could change it I would!" I can't help but yell and scream at him. I even mock him at the end. He looks taken aback by my outburst but I don't care. I slam my bedroom door shut and jump into bed pulling the covers over my head.

"I didn't believe you until now Rose. I'm so sorry." Harry's voice is close, too close. Damn it! I forgot to lock my door. I'm not convinced he believes me so I don't bother responding.

"I called my dad and asked him and he just hung up. I thought you were acting at first. Trying to make me regret what I did and I convinced myself you were lying. I don't think I'll ever be able to hate my dad as much as you do but just know I'll try. I always hated him for what he did to me but I forgave him. I'll never forgive him for what he did to you. I'm so so sorry for what he did. You don't deserve any of this. My dad is fucked. Heck I'm fucked and if it's what you want I promise I'll leave you alone when we get back. I can even leave now if you want?" He can't leave now. We still have to go for lunch. I believe he's sorry but he shouldn't be apologizing for what his dad did he should be apologizing for leaving me.

"You can't leave yet. We still have lunch." I pull my head out from under the covers to continue speaking. "I don't want you to apologize for what your dad did. I want you to apologize for not believing me. For leaving me."

"That's what I meant. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm sorry I just left you. I'm sorry I didn't regret what I did. Now I do. I do regret it. My father was a horrible man to you and your family. I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven but just know I'm still mad at you." I'm still more than mad at him but this is what he needs to hear. He needs to know he's forgiven otherwise I know he'll drive himself insane with bad thoughts and what not. I return to my spot under the covers and speak again. "Now can you please leave and shut the door on your way out."


~



"Can you pass me the salt please Harry?" Mum asks. Lunch has gone without a hitch so far. The tension is still there between Harry and I as I made it very clear before we left that I was still mad at him. For the hour before we left for lunch I gave Harry the cold shoulder, ignoring him completely. Mum and her boyfriend Gary haven't seemed to noticed our discomfort which is a positive for sure.

"So how did you two meet?" Harry asks politely gesturing between mum and Gary.

"Well it was something I never thought I'd do. I made an account on one of those dating sites and Gary saw my profile and asked me on a date. I was shocked when I first met him. He looked nothing like he did in his photo and even his personality, likes and dislikes were nothing like his profile." She laughs at her lame story although she thinks it's the best story of two people meeting ever.

"Karen wasn't like I imagined either. Her profile said she was a bikini model not a nurse so I was greeted with a shock. She's much more beautiful than I imagined though." Smooth Gary, real smooth.. Everyone laughs at the story and I do too. It is quite funny I just don't feel like laughing at the moment. When we finish our meals I decide it's time to excuse Harry and I.

"Harry and I have to get going. We have work to do for uni and it's a long enough drive. Thanks for having us mum and nice meeting you Gary." I stand from my chair and kiss mum on the cheek before doing the same to Gary. He seems really nice and he makes my mum happy so I'm giving him my approval. Harry follows my lead and kisses mums cheek and shakes Gary's hand.

The air outside is cool as we walk from the restaurant to the car. "You can drive." I throw Harry my keys and take the passenger seat. I just want to sleep. Harry pulls out of the parking lot and needs my directions until we reach the highway. I change the cd from Jack Johnson to Norah Jones and lay my car seat back closing my eyes. I think Harry gets that I want to sleep so he doesn't say a word. I stare out the window and count the trees until I feel myself drifting slowly into blackness.



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AUTHOR'S NOTE: THANK YOU FOR READING! I tried to make this chapter extra long to make up for my slow updating last week. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's nice to see more and more of you commenting and voting for my story. It honestly makes my day so thank you guys! Massive shoutout to zaynshood for consistently voting every chapter! Go follow her :) Lately I've become a little obsessed with Jack Johnson and Norah Jones so I recommend you go listen to their music. I'm still looking for a new book cover if anyone's interested :) HAVE AN AMAZING DAY! Oh and incase I don't update tomorrow the next day HAPPY NEW YEAR AND I HOPE YOUR 2014 IS AMAZING! You can follow me on twitter at @fanficpoison and @sunshinxstyles :) Love you's xx