His Block

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"I would hate to get attached to you."He says out of random. The room was caked with silence at every corner. His voice alerted me immediately as he spoke in a distress tone. His voice flushed with confusion as his facial kept the same bland face.

I peered my eyes upon him as he sat on the chair with his posture bent and his elbows on his knees. I dropped my pencil down on my unfinshed sketch before turning fully so he could have my undivided attention. Taking stray pieces of my hair I tuck them snug behind my ear. "And how should I take that, personally or just let it roll off my shoulder?" I raised my brow.

His sighed. "Come hea'."He called me over. My legs lead the path over to him. In no time I stood before him towering over his seated frame. "When I said come hea', I meant to actually come hea'."He pulled me down so I could straddle his lap. I felt a bit uncomfortable with baring my weight onto him, but he gave me an assuring look indicating that it was okay. He lifted my arms before taking them and loosely wrapping them around his neck. This was the first time we held physical contact with each other after having the humidity rising make out session not to long ago. As his arms extended around my waist the plastic from the wrapping of his tattoo could be heard.

He pursed his lips before letting out a distress breath of air. "In my life, I've always been categorized as the bad guy. Thats just who I am and thats how I live, you feel me? If I let you pursue me and I do the same, you bound to get hurt. You're to innocent, young and unprepared to deal with a nigga like me and I can't just let you set yourself up for failure like that. I can tell that you have a lot going for yourself and I just can't be the one holdin' you back."He seemed to have my best interest at heart, but I just couldn't agree with him. I want to be able to live my own life just so I could learn from any of my mistakes. If he has to be a mistake to learn from, then so be it. If I wasn't willing to risk it all then I would have listened to the prior three warnings he gave me before I grew attached to him.

Staring into his eyes I bit my lip before responding. "All my life, I've been put in situations where I had to deal with it. I never have a say of whats going on in my life nor can I have an opinion about it without be called ungrateful. From the day I was born up to now everyone has been steering my life for me and I just seem to be seated in the passenger seat. For once in my life, I make my own decisions by becoming attached to you and here you come trying to steer my life like everyone else. I'm tired of people telling me what has to be done in my life. I want to be able to make my own life decisions and figure out what is right for me. I don't care what anyone else says or what you say, I committed myself to dealing with you and I'll lead my life from there on."

His index finger trailed up to my chin. He adjusted my head before pulling me in for a delicate kiss. "You genuine and thats what I need to balance me out. Your mind has already developed to a mature lil' lady and you don't come across girls like you often. Im gone let you lead the way, this is your life so do whatever you please with this situation, so start leadin'."

And that's all I ever wanted.

"First thing first, we are not in a relationship. I agree with the fact that I'm to young. Although I have a matured mind, we still have to deal with the age difference. You're like what—?"If anything if we are going to do this we must make sure that what we're doing is certainly legal and the both of us won't have to face an repercussions

He chuckled before shaking his head. "The shit you sayin' sound like bull. What that shit matter for? It's not like I'm out right sayin' you my girl, we just coolin' it. I aint never done no shit like this ever since my baby momma eight years ago. So there's no need to set no damn rules and procedures, just vibe wit' me and I'a vibe wit' you."

I twisted my lips to the left considering what he was saying. It was pretty evident between us both that we did not want any type of committed relationship. This was just a trail and error phase that we were going to let lead up to anywhere and anything. "I just want to know what I'm getting myself into, thats all."