Spencer Reid One Shots

Tied Together With A Smile

With a deep sigh and feeling full of regret, Savannah sat up in bed. Her eyes wandered to the person that was sleeping next to her: Some guy she had met in a club the night before. And as she'd done so often, she'd took him home and slept with him. They have had fun, they had some drinks, they danced, they talked and laughed together. Savannah had liked the blonde-haired man and had thought that there would be nothing wrong with spending the night with him.

But now, in the morning and being sober again, she thought that she'd made a mistake. Once again. He wasn't her first one. And she knew he wouldn't be the last one. She just couldn't help it.

Most of the time Savannah felt empty inside and she couldn't believe that anyone could ever love her the way she was, although love was the one thing she was longing for. Of course, she had amazing friends and she knew they loved her but not the way she wished for a man to love her.

While she examined the young man that was sleeping in her bed, Savannah remembered countless of nights that had ended like this. But no man had ever come back. She had been just a One-Night-Stand for all of them.

Another sigh escaped Savannah's lips and she creeped out of the bed. She stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. A look in the mirror and she grimaced. Her long, black hair was falling on her shoulders. Her skin was pale and her green eyes looked tired. After some seconds she turned around and stepped under the shower.

There were days Savannah couldn't bare looking at her reflection; she just couldn't see anything pretty on her body. She wasn't thin like the models in all those magazines. She had a lot of curves. Men seemed to be okay with that, otherwise they wouldn't sleep with her, she thought. But sometimes she just wanted to look like some of those models. Maybe love would come around then.

She shook her head as she turned on the hot water. She needed to wash away all these depressing thoughts again. And then...she would see if the man in her bed was awake.

Fifteen minutes later Savannah came back to the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her body. The room was empty. She swallowed as she let herself sink on the edge of the bed. The guy was gone. While she had been showering, he had creeped out of her apartment and had left her alone.

She looked around, but she couldn't see a note from him. There was nothing. No, don't cry. Stop that you silly she told herself. But it didn't help. Savannah felt a tear running down her cheek. Angrily she whipped it away. Then she got up again, hurried to dress herself and then left the apartment.

It was only ten in the morning when she strolled through the city. She felt restless and couldn't stop her thoughts from running around in her head. Was it really so hard to love her? Wasn't she lovable?

Lost in her thoughts, Savannah entered one of the coffee shops near and waited in the line to get some caffeine into her veins. While she waited for her turn, she looked around and spotted one of her best friends sitting in a corner with a cup of coffee and a book. He seemed to have felt Savannah's eyes on him and looked up.

Savannah immediately put a smile on her face and waved at him. Spencer waved back. With her own coffee to go, she made her way to Spencer's table and sat down opposite to him. "Hey", he smiled as he put his book away. "Hey", Savannah replied and smiled as well, although she didn't feel like smiling at all. But that was something she had done for years: no matter how bad she felt, when Savannah was around her friends, she always put a smile on her lips and pretended that everything was alright.

"What are you doing here?", she asked and took a sip of her coffee. Spencer shrugged. "I'm having a day off today, there's no case currently. But Hotch wants us back tomorrow to do some paperwork. So, I thought coffee and a good book would be a nice way to spend my day." He smiled again and although Savannah didn't felt like smiling, she couldn't help. Spencer was her best friend since two years now and seeing him happy made her happy as well.

While they both drank their coffees, she could feel Spencer's eyes on her all the time. He was examining her; trying to figure out if she was alright or if she was just pretending to be. He was a profiler and sometimes Savannah hated him for the ability to always know when she was down, even when she didn't show it.

"What?", she eventually asked as she couldn't bear the looks he gave her anymore. "What's the matter?", he asked back.

"Nothing", Savannah murmured but buried her face behind the coffee to go as she took a sip. She couldn't look at him. She knew that he knew that something was bothering her. "Savannah...I know that there's something wrong. Why don't you talk to me?" Spencer's voice was quiet and when Savannah looked up again, she looked into his wonderfully brown eyes. How did she even deserve such a great friend? She had no idea.

"Because there's nothing!", Savannah said; a bit louder than she had intended. She got up, grabbed her coffee and then left the shop without another word. She couldn't bear being with Spencer when he only asked uncomfortable questions. Yes, he might have been worried about her, but she couldn't talk about her true feelings. She didn't want him to pity her. She was already feeling awful enough.

"Savannah! Wait!" Spencer caught up with her and grabbed her arm. "What?" She turned around to face him. He took a deep breath before he started to speak: "I can't bear to see you like this anymore." Savannah frowned at him because she didn't understand he was trying to tell her. What did he mean?

"I...you're my best friend since such a long time now and I can see that you're unhappy a lot. Yes, you put a smile on your face whenever you're with other people, but I can see in your eyes that you're not feeling like smiling. Savannah, all these men you're taking home from time to time, they...they don't deserve you."

She swallowed hard to hold back the tears that were filling her eyes. Why the hell did he have to be so sensitive when it came to her feelings? She didn't want to cry. "Spence...", Savannah started, in hope that he would leave it alone and she could go back home. But he just shook his head. His hand was holding hers now.

"Savannah, you're so much better than this! You're funny, beautiful and you have a good heart. Men that use you only for one night to have some fun don't deserve a woman like you! They make you unhappy and you deserve much better!" Spencer's voice had grown louder as he continued to talk.

Savannah's heart was pounding fast against her chest while she looked at him and listened to his words. That they were both standing in the middle of the sidewalk, they didn't properly realize anymore.

"Spence, why do you care so much about what I'm doing?", Savannah quietly asked. Of couse, he was her best friend, but he had never said anything about the men she used to be with – even if it was for only one night. She was a bit confused about his outburst.

He sighed. "Because you're important to me! I care for you, Savannah! I...I'm...in love with you!"

"What?" She felt like the world stopped for a moment. "You...you're in love with me?", she repeated utterly in shock. Spencer nodded. He now grabbed her other hand as well. "Yes, I am. Since quite a long time. But I just wouldn't dare to tell you because I was afraid that you don't feel the same for me and it would ruin our friendship", he confessed.

Savannah didn't know what to say so she just lowered her look down to her hands that were lying in his. When she looked back into Spencer's eyes, she could see love in them. What if it was true? What if he actually loved her? Maybe she had been searching for love in the wrong places while the right man had been so close all the time?

"Your confession won't destroy your friendship, Spencer", Savannah whispered now and squeezed his hands. "Maybe...this might be the start of something." Spencer nodded, leaned down to her and she felt his lips against hers. Yes, this could be the beginning of something new, of something good, she thought while she felt butterflies waking up in her stomach while she wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck.

"What would you say to a stroll through the park?", Spencer quietly asked after they parted again. Savannah nodded and hand in hand they continued walking down the sidewalk. She smiled at him and for the first time in many months – if not even years - her smile was honest. It wasn't just a mask anymore. And she felt relieved and loved for the first time ever.