Spencer Reid One Shots

I See The Light (2nd part to "You'll Be In My Heart")

Sitting on the couch, you were holding one of Spencer's scarfs in your hands. With closed eyes, you buried your nose in the fabric and took some deep breaths. His smell was still captured in the scarf and it somehow consoled you. It was as if Spencer was still there with you. It was as if you could feel him.

A month had gone by since Spencer had passed away and these last weeks had been the hardest you ever had. And it still wasn't over. You woke up in the middle of the night crying because you had dreamed of Spencer and realizing that he wasn't here anymore, broke your heart again.

But you weren't alone. The BAU team visited you daily, bringing you food and consoling you. They were all worried about you and your unborn baby boy. It wouldn't take long anymore until he'd be born and the thought of you being a single mother frightened you almost to death.

With a sigh, you stroked your huge baby bump. Of course, you already loved your baby. But it would be so difficult. It never had been the plan to do this without Spencer. You had no plan that didn't involve your husband. You pressed your lips together and closed your eyes, in hope to get a bit of sleep. You had slept not enough these weeks and the days were just exhausting.

You thought back to a day two weeks ago. After Spencer's funeral, Emily had told you something you hadn't known until then. She had said that Spencer got shot because he had been protecting a six-year-old girl that had been kidnapped and hurt by the psychopath.

Spencer had saved this child's life. Emily had taken you back to the hospital because she wanted you to meet the little girl and its parents. You had felt uncomfortable at first, but then you'd seen her sitting in her hospital bed, smiling at you when you stepped in. Her parents had jumped from their chairs to thank you for the bravery of your husband. They had told you how thankful and glad they were that their little girl was still alive. And that wouldn't have been the case if it hadn't been for Spencer.

You had swallowed the tears and had tried to smile. Although it hurt so much that you thought your heart would stop beating soon, it was kind of consoling to know that Spencer had saved this little girl.

~

A tear ran down your cheek but you didn't wipe it away. Instead, you kept your eyes closed. You wanted to sleep. Just sleep. Because, in your dreams, Spencer was still alive and you didn't have to be alone.

When the doorbell rang, you winced but just stayed where you were. You didn't have the strength to get up and open the door now. Whoever it was, they had to leave and come back another day, you thought.

But someone rang again, as if they were too stubborn to just give up. Sighing, you finally manhandled your huge unshaped body from the couch and waddled into the corridor to open the door for whoever was standing there.

"Y/N, finally! I thought you weren't even at home!", Penelope exclaimed as soon as she saw you. "Hey, Penny", you quietly said and gave her a tired smile. You let her in and she followed you into the living room.

"How are you feeling?", Penelope asked as she sat down next to you. You shrugged, not sure how you felt. It was just all a huge mess of emotions that you had been feeling during those last days and weeks. It was confusing and exhausting.

"I'm just...tired", you eventually said and glanced at your friend. Penelope grabbed your hand and squeezed it. She didn't know what to say, you could see it in her facial expression. But she didn't have to anyway. You were glad she had come over. You leaned your head against Penelope's shoulder and closed your eyes.

Just to open them almost immediately again, when you felt a sharp pain going through the middle of your body. "Ouch!", you let out and pressed your hands against your baby bump. "What? Y/N, what's the matter?", Penelope asked, looking alarmed.