Tower Over Me (Waycest)

Chapter 16: Fucking Nostalgia.

(I know I said smut was coming here but I've learned my lesson about staying under a certain amount of words. I promise the next chapter should be up Sunday night, with smut.)

Gerard's POV

Once I get back home I find myself becoming very nervous, I don't know how Frank is going to act or what he's going to say to me.

He's liable to punch me and spit in my face, or he might cry and leave after ten minutes, or maybe he'll just let this be how it is.

There's two extreme ways tonight is likely to go and the thought of them is making me dizzy. I notice our mothers car is no longer in the driveway, it doesn't bother me, she was never here.

I park and go inside of the warm house, leaving the door unlocked before going to take one of the quickest showers of my life. I'm not exactly sure what I'm meant to wear so I pull on a Blink 182 shirt and pair of sweat pants.

I mean, it's almost night time, no one in their right minds goes out into Jersey during the night in Winter, not unless you're headed somewhere like the grocery store.

I don't bother starting to work on my art, I would just have to stop in a few minutes.

I sit in front of the mirror and run a comb through my hair.

I hear Frank's car pull into the driveway and I set the comb down shakily.

I head up the stairs to greet him and before I can make it all the way to living room I hear the door open and then shut, he must have hurried in to avoid the cold. 

If he does punch me in the face I totally deserve it, I won't try to fight him or avoid it.

When I enter the living room he's standing by the door hanging his coat, so he intends to stay for the night.

He looks over at me and neither of us speak for a moment.

"Gerard," His voice is so shaky and tired, I hadn't heard him sound like that since high school when he was in the hospital after a wreck.  

He steps closer to me and I have to look down slightly to be looking into his eyes. "If you are..if you're upset or angry, or bothered by anything that has happened in our relationship y-you need to come to terms with it and tell me about it right now. I.. I had to admit things to myself. It's your turn."

He stops and blinks back a few tears. "I had to admit to myself that everything wasn't p-perfect between me and you. T-tonight is the last night we'll spend together a-and if we need to take some things out on each other then this is the last chance. Anything you have to say to me s-say it."

I'm surprised but grateful for his assertiveness, one of us needed to be strict and calm about this, and if that has to be him, then it will.  

"I uh, I just want to let you know that these last four years w-with you have been u-unforgettable."

I hadn't felt like actually crying until now, and it was the worst time for me to get all caught up on my words when I really needed to speak to him.

"I know that everything that has happened has shaped me f-for the rest of my life. I'm happy I got to spend so much of my time with you, y-you're my best friend Frank, and trust me at one point I felt that with every aspect of truth that you were my soulmate. I'm s-so so sorry that things ended like they did, but you've been so amazingly understanding and I c-can't believe it's all going to be over soon."

I take a deep breath and blink a few times, tears are rolling down both of our cheeks now and I feel like I'm being ripped in half.

"I love you and Mikey to death, but I know that if I don't go with Mikey, I'll never be happy, never fully happy, and then you won't be happy eventually. I w-want to thank you for even being here right now, I d-dragged you through hell and back so many times and you have been faithful and loyal to me the e-entire time. I r-really mean it when I say this,  none of t-this is your fault, you didn't cause this and I really hope you don't take it out on yourself in the future, and I hope whoever you find in this world can read your heart like you will always be able to read mine, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry I could never be as good of a man as you are. Y-you are going to go so much-"

I'm full on crying now and my voice cracks almost every other sentence.

"You're gonna go so much further in life than me."

He smiles and reaches up to wipe my tears away and then wipes off his own face.

"I-it's not your fault Gerard. I enjoyed pretty much every second of our relationship, and if I could go back and change anything, I would leave it just as it is, because it was fucking perfect. I-it made me so happy, and the thought that it happened will continue to make me happy. I still can't even believe, you, Gerard Way, the man I had a crush on for years, actually loved me. You didn't just love me, you loved me with every single thing you had when I needed it the most."

Frank looks down for a minute and bites his lip, his eyes close and a sad expression settles on his face.

I can only compare his expression to a disappointed parent. Tears slowly start to roll down his face again and I myself can't help but to continue crying as well, it was surreal, I almost didn't want to believe it was almost over. 

"You were not only my best friend, you were an exceptional lover, and you really know how to make a guy feel special. I really hope Mikey knows what he's getting into, and how lucky he is. Good and bad, you are one of the best people I've ever known Gerard, and when all of this is over I... I h-hope we can still be f-friends." 

I nod but I know that's not all he had to say.

Frank tended to become very angry in situations he had no control over, he's gotta be mad, even if it's just a little.

"Frank, if you're angry a-about anything you don't have to hold back." I say nervously, he just shakes his head and laughs.