Tower Over Me (Waycest)

Chapter 47: You're Gonna Do Just Fine.

Frank's POV

I make my way back to my room where Gerard is sitting on my bed looking pretty upset.

I sit down next to him and sigh. "I...Frank I can't do this." Gerard says shakily.

I look over at him, he's staring at the floor and tears are rolling down his face. I had never seen him look so defeated.

"I...I couldn't do it if I were you. I know it's all so fucked right now but it's gonna get better."

He looks over at me and sighs. "It's not about..all of this. I know all of this is going to pass, but..I really really wanna kiss you again and.."

I bite my lip. "You can't play with everyone's hearts Gerard," I say closing my eyes. Truthfully I'd like to do alot more than kiss him all night.

"I..I just don't know how to live without you. I know I'd be happier this way but I don't know how to respond to anything without you." He states and I can't take it.

I quickly press my lips against his and push him back against the bed, climbing on top of him and straddling his waist.

He doesn't push me away but he tenses up and presses his hands against me like he's about to push me away. I lean back a bit and look up at his eyes, he looks like he needs to take a break. Like he's had a long day. "Tell me if you want me to stop Gerard," I whisper and wait for a response.

He stares up at me, he looks almost scared. Then he flips us over and presses his lips against mine hungrily. I know it all means nothing, it's an emotional fuck, he's not doing this to show me any amount of love, he's doing this to release some of the frustration he's building up.

Images of Mikey and Perry flash through my mind and for a moment I feel as if I'm drowning in the awful ocean of reality. This is growing up, growing up is seeing just how awful the world is. Everyones got something horrid going on in their heads yet most of them put up a dangerously fake smile.

Mikey's POV

Mrs.King looks at me as if she's waiting for me to speak. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say." I state shakily, looking around the room nervously, feeling a bit on trial. "I assume you're thinking about how it's not possible to start over. I mean no one knows you better than you, and you've looked all around for the do over button, but it's just not out there."

I bite my lip to hide a smile. "Yeah, sure. This is just another institution, you'll give me the generic treatment paid for by my insurance and you'll stuff food down my throat and tell me when to sleep until I weigh enough to keep this company's rates up." I say, my illness speaking for me.

I don't want to be rude to Mrs.King, but I couldn't help it, the words just slipped right out of my mouth. She doesn't looked very bothered, she straightens up and glances over at the clock.

"I'm the personal therapist for floor two, section A. Now you're new so I'm sure you have no idea what that means. Here we divide our treatments into floors, floor one is discharge, admittance, and visitation. The second floor, where you are now, is the eating disorder and body distortion clinic, all patients on this floor are more than ten pounds underweight and have already been in a different treatment centre."

She explains this almost mechanically. "This floor is the only floor divided into sections, section A, where you are right now is the first section. It's for patients who are severely underweight, our lowest weighing patient in this section is eighty six pounds Michael, section A, with me, isn't where you want to be."

I nod, feeling a bit sick to my stomach. So I'm in the nearly dead section, how fucking wonderful to hear. I'm feeling so much better now, great therapy.

"The way to get out of section A is to gain weight, it's simple, the only way out is to be less than five pounds underweight for your height, while you're here you'll spend time in personal therapy with me, and in group therapy with Dr.Pearson, with other members from your section." I look around the room, doing my best not to tune out, I need to know what I'm being forced into.

"Once you get to section B you'll be seeing a different personal therapist and attending group with patients from that section. You'll also be granted forty five minutes outside and one hour visitation on the first level. Once you get to section B, the personal therapist there will explain section C, the final section." I nod and sigh.

"So, for now I just stare at walls and talk about my feelings, and I'm expected to just eat my way out of this illness."

Mrs.King taps her nails against the desk and glances at the clock again. "You need to be attending group therapy out in the threshold in three minutes so I'll make this simple. You're dying Michael, your heart could give out at any second and the only way out of it is to eat, and talk through it, along with medication which we'll administer after I spend a few sessions with you. While we won't force you to eat, if you don't eat, and you lose more than ten pounds below what you weigh today, you'll be discharged and turned away. After group therapy inform Dr.Pearson you need to be weighed, he'll take you to admittance then. You came at a busy time unfortunately." 

I nod and stand up shakily. "Michael," I look back at her as I head for the door. "I know I can be intimidating, and I just dumped a lot of information on you, but I'm not here to threaten you, I want you to get better. I can help you break this down, if you need that, but first I want to give you an oppurtunity to take the fast way out of all of this."

I smile and step out of the room. Around a corner I can see who I assume is Dr.Pearson gathering around a few very skeletal people. I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes for a moment.

I think about Gerard. He's probably at home now, sitting downstairs, drinking, listening to music way to loud. I can only anticipate the day I get out for now, these next three weeks, are going to be hell.

I mean, how do you just...eat?

I open my eyes when I hear someone clear their throat. I glance at the taller man in front of me and read his name tag. 

Dr.Pearson. 

"I uh," I stutter, being caught off guard. 

"We love new patients, have you spoken to Mrs.King yet?" He asks smiling politely and I nod my head yes, still feeling a bit blindsided. "Excellent, come meet your section members."