Tower Over Me (Waycest)

Chapter 30: Tension

Mikey's POV

When I see Gerard pulling out the ingredients for spaghetti and I start to panic. I know a lot about food, I don't remember every single calorie count for every food, but I know spaghetti is very fattening.

I ask Gerard if we can make something lighter and I instantly know it was a mistake.

Gerard's mouth twitches slightly at the corners and he looks down.

Fuck.

"I was just asking. If you're really worried I'll eat it but I'm not feeling it."

Maybe if I lead on like I'd deal with it he'll just bite his tongue and make something else.

I can manipulate Gerard.

I feel bad about it and part of me doesn't want to do it, but there's more of me that wants to lose weight.

Gerard doesn't speak for a moment and then he starts to quickly put the ingredients away.

I feel a sense of victory and I smile.

"I trust you, don't make an idiot of me Mikey."

I nod my head and Gerard pulls out some stuff to make salads.

I look down at my phone and send a message.

Outgoing Message To Emerson:

I'm going to eat a salad and then take another pill.

I put my phone down on the table and walk over to Gerard. I take his hand in mine and he looks over at me like he's so lost.

I almost feel bad but I don't let the guilt hit me, I have to be strong and firm about keeping this going.

"I'm okay Gerard." I murmur and he quickly grabs my hips and turns me to him.

He then pulls me against him and presses his lips against mine. I take in a sharp breath and feel my body tense up.

I squeeze my eyes shut and tilt my head slightly. Gerard gently darts his tongue over my lower lip and I arch, opening my mouth slightly.

Gerard slides his tongue over mine and we begin to explore each others mouths.

I feel so tired and my head is hurting me so badly I could scream, but the kiss makes my heart soar and I forget everything besides Gerard for a minute.

Gerard's hands start to drift along my sides and then he pulls away gasping for air.

I blush deeply and smile to myself as me and Gerard go about making our salads.

I only put tomatoes, cucumbers, and small pieces of onion in it. I avoid ranch but try not to make it obvious that I'm attempting to avoid as many carbs as I can.

Gerard makes his salad a bit similar to mine but he adds ranch and a few croutons. We sit down across from each other and begin to eat.

I eat slowly but not slow enough to spike concern.

"I just want you to know how beautiful you are. Mikey you're already so thin, and the way it ended up last time was so scary. Do you know how guilty I felt? You were laying up in a hospital bed, knocked out, and you were twenty pounds underweight. You weren't you then you, were some ghost I wasn't related to and it changed you so so much. You're different now and I want you to be okay, please be okay."

I feel tears rush to my eyes and I nod my head, but I know I'm not stopping.

I can hear that little voice again, that one that tells me to fight, to lie, and to keep going at any cost.

I embrace it and I take another bite of my salad.

"Trust me Gerard, I know. I'll never forget, can we please not talk about this anymore? It's not very appetizing."

I feel like I hadn't even spoken, something else spoke for me, and it was convincing. Gerard nods and pauses for a moment, "Okay."

I smile, my phone vibrates, but I don't move to answer it.

I finish my salad without really thinking about it and I carry my plate over to the sink.

Gerard follows shortly after, when the plates are all rinsed and clean Gerard leads me downstairs to his room.

Once we get down the steps he stops and stares at the sheets of paper on the bed.

I'm assuming it's parts of his comic, but he quickly moves to pick them up and tuck them in the desk drawer.

He walks back over to me and wraps his hand around mine, "It's not ready yet. I just showed Frank because I'm not to sure if I'll see him again."

Gerard's eyes drop for a moment and then he sighs.

"D-don't think about him. I'm here," I say and place my hand on Gerard's cheek.

He looks at me and smiles. "I know. I just can't help but feel this absence." I nod my head even though sadness rolls up my spine.

I have to accept the past but I don't have to feel good about it on the inside.

I pull away from Gerard and make my way over to the bed. I check the message from Emerson that I had ignored back at the table.

Incoming Message From Emerson:
Good, don't forget to weigh yourself before bed.

I type a message back much quicker than I intended to.

Outgoing Message To Emerson:
I already ate. A small salad with no ranch.

I have to go take the pill now. How do I get away from Gerard?

'Just tell him you have to use the bathroom.'

There goes that little voice again.

That little voice that helps me weave my way to perfection.

It's back and it's getting stronger and I'm rejoicing.

"Excuse me, I have to use the restroom." I mutter and walk up the stairs shakily.

I can feel Gerard's eyes on me but I don't look back, I act as normal as I can.

My lips are still tingling from the insane kiss he attacked me with in the kitchen earlier.

I push the thoughts of him away, I need to be focused on me right now with something as serious as these pills.

I hadn't slept last night, I had been going all day on virtually no food, and I know taking this pill will guarantee no sleeping tonight.

The only issue with that is I'll just be laying there with Gerard. I'll just have to lay in that spot and stare, but maybe that's what I need.

Some good time in the quiet dark, with someone you love.

Well, not that quiet.

My brother snores.

I go into my bedroom and lift up my pillow, finding the pill bottle where I had left it.

I look over my shoulder to make sure I had closed the door just in case.

I open them and quickly swallow one of the capsules. For a minute it hits me how dumb I'm being, this is so dangerous.

I should be going to sleep and eating, but when I see myself in the small corner mirror, all of the fear goes away, and I embrace the feeling of the pill going to my stomach with the dreadful salad.

Outgoing Message To Emerson:
Just took another pill. Hanging out with Gerard so I might not respond to quickly.

Incoming Message From Emerson:
How do you feel? Do they make you sick or panicky?

Outgoing Message To Emerson:
I have a bit of a headache but I've never felt stronger.

Incoming Message From Emerson:
Oh, it gets so much better. Trust me. Just give it a few days to let your body really get used to them.