Tower Over Me (Waycest)

Chapter 49: Goodbye's.

Frank's POV

Gerard ducks his head as tears start to roll down his cheeks. I feel slightly guilty, but it needed to be said. I don't have to let Gerard step on my priorities anymore, I don't have to love him. I light a cigarette and look down at the carpet.

"How do you do it? When you see Mikey, see how thin he is, how do you walk away?" I ask, trying to change the subject. "That sadness, in her eyes. I can't handle that. How do you find that beautiful? How did you fall in love with that?"

Gerard looks up at me. "The same way you fell in love with me when my eyes were dazed from intoxication. When I look at Mikey, I have to remind myself he doesn't see the same thing we see. He thinks he's bigger than he is, the illness has a lot to do with distorted self image." 

I swallow the lump in my throat, I never though I need a crash course in how to be a big brother to an anorexic.

"I remember when I first met Mikey," I state taking a drag from my cigarette as Gerard lights one. "He was already sick but...you and him were still close. I think you were pretending things were cool then." I state and he sighs. "Perry reminds me of who he used to be. She's open about it, she's hurting and she feels like she's not good enough, but mom doesn't know. It hasn't ripped us apart yet." I state feeling tears rolling down my face.

"Everyone's different Frank," Gerard states using his thumb to wipe a few of them away. "Mikey's case is severe, because it's been with him for a long time. He's defiant of treatment, he doesn't want to get better and he probably won't. Some people just...end up like that. Perry, she's to active, she needs her body to much. She has goals, she values something, if it comes down to it, she'll take treatment."

I nod, trying my best to believe his words.

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(2 days later)

I smile and hug my mom tightly one more time, turning back and glancing at my car. It was time to go to the studio and load up the bus for the tour. This was the last time I'd see my family for two months. Gerard's going to meet me there, he has to speak with a publisher there after lunch about his comic anyways.'

My mom smiles at me, Perry stands off to the side. "I love you guys," I say and my mom pulls Perry closer to her. "We love you too," Perry says with a small laugh.  

I get in my car and pull out of the driveway, saying a silent prayer for Perry's health.

The drive to the studio is short, I knew I was going to miss New Jersey, but it'll be here for me when I get back.

I pull up to the studio, feeling a bit sick to my stomach as I park next to Gerard's car. He's leaning against it, talking to Brian casually over a cigarette. I walk around the back of his car and they both smile at me.

"You're looking well rested Frank," Brian states and I smile. Gerard looks at me intently but doesn't speak. "Crew luggage goes over there," Brian tells me pointing to a section beneath the tour bus.

I go over there and place my suitcase in the back beneath a few others, seeing Adrian standing off to the side I walk up to him. "Hey man," I say and he smiles at me, though I can tell he doesn't remember me. 

"Frank, I had to phone your dad for you to be able to go. I have to supervise you." I explain and he nods. "Yeah, you came and spoke to me for a few minutes. Sorry man, it's been crazy." I nod understandingly. "Well I look forward to being supervised," He states jokingly and I laugh.

"Of course." I say excusing myself and walking back over to Gerard. Brian had walked away to speak to some other people. "Hey." I state and he smiles. "Are you nervous?" He asks scanning his eyes over the tour bus. "Well, more excited." I say shrugging.

Although I am excited, I feel a bit sad about leaving Gerard. I knew I was losing him, but this kind of makes it official.

"You'll have fun," He says as Brian waves over at me. "Five minutes!" He calls notifying me I was about to be leaving. Gerard's eyes fall for a moment but then he returns the fake optimistic glare at me. "I'm going to miss you Gerard," I admit breaking down the wall between us.

He sighs and crosses his arms, "Yeah. I'm gonna miss you too Frankie." He says as tears rush to his eyes and down his cheeks. I hold mine back, I don't like for the people I work with to see me vulnerable.

I wrap my arms around him in a tight hug, "Thank you Gee." I whisper in his ear before pulling away and he squeezes me a bit tighter before allowing me to step back. I look over at the tour bus as Adrian climbs in. Brian glances over at me and I know it's time to walk away.

"No problem kid," His voice cracks when he says this and it makes me want to stay but I can't. "I lo-" Gerard holds a hand up, cutting me off. "Don't. That makes things harder." He says and I sigh.

"Bye." I say turning away and walking towards the bus. I feel like I could vomit, cry, and scream all at once. Brian smiles at me.

I smile back as he leads me into the bus.

It's over.
It's over.

It's fucking over.