Tower Over Me (Waycest)

Chapter 44: I Dont Know What To Do

Gerard's POV
Frank looks like he could punch Mikey in the nose right now. I don't know why he's so angry with him, should I be angry?

"M-mama's coming at some point..I uh..can you tell me what happened?" My words fall weakly from my mouth and Mikey sighs as he glances from me to Frank.

"Frank, can we have a second or two alone?" I ask looking over at him, he looks at Mikey and then at me.

"Yeah, I need to make a phone call." He murmurs and shuffles out of the room quietly.

I look down at my brother who now looks horrified. "Mikey?" I question, my voice shakes, but I try to remain as firm as I can. He's still pretty young and he doesn't have any parental influences besides me and it's obvious I've fucking failed.

He looks up at me and then straight forward, "Fuck, where do I begin?" He asks himself forcing a tiny laugh. "Well, I know where I'll end, I know this is ridiculous. I know I look skeletal, I don't need eating disorder treatment, but I don't get a choice. Do you remember when you woke me up for school the other morning, offered me a ride because it was cold?" 

A feeling in my stomach starts that makes me want to vomit, that was the day I admitted the way I felt about him. School ended early because of the snow, I remember everything about that day perfectly. "Look at me," I murmur.

His brown eyes meet mine and I sigh, "What happened that day?" I ask.

"Well this kid, his names Andy, he kind of uh..bullies me, and he pushed me against the locker and gave me a nosebleed, and a teacher saw it. She told me go to the nurse but I went to the bathroom to wash up and there was this younger dude, really thin, his names Emerson. I knew him from a picture I had seen on  Perry's homescreen but that's not the point."

Mikey clears his throat and continues explaining how this kid called him out on being ill, and then offered to help him lose even more weight when Mikey wasn't even focused on being thin at the time of the first encounter with Emerson.

"He told me about these pills he's supposed to be taking, how he doesn't believe in medication and he said they'd curb my appetite, give me energy to work out, and help me lose weight. I started taking them and he texted me and we talked about what I ate, working out, and meet-ups."

I sigh and shake my head. "Mikey, did I have anything to do with this coming back up? You were better, and then I..I told you and you ch-changed like overnight. It hasn't even been a week and you've nearly overdosed trying to burn some calories!"

Mikey's eyes spill over with tears, "I was trying to commit suicide!" He hung his head in his hands and began to sob, something I hadn't seen Mikey do since he was eleven and had nightmares.

I felt like I could vomit and I place my hand on Mikey's back gently. "Listen to me," I mutter and he quiets his sobs, but his body continues to tremble and he sniffles continuously. "If I ever lost you I'd be absolutely nothing..Mikes I don't know if.." 

I catch myself before I admit to Mikey I was getting unsure of his health in this relationship. I'd break his heart even more if I did that right now, he at least needs to get through the backlash of today before I bring that into the light.

"I don't know if you've ever been told but you're so important. Oh God you're so unique, so special, and so amazingly different. There's no one like you, you're a silent charmer, you don't even have to speak but when you do...it makes me feel like I don't even deserve to talk to you."

Mikey starts to cry even more, guilt must be setting in. "You have this obsession with getting smaller and I don't understand it but when you get like this...you're not that kid I feel so amazed by. You turn into a demon, a terrifying, concerning, and barely there ghost. I love you Mikey, and everything about you, but this illness, I fucking hate it, and it looks like shit on you." 

Mikey pushes my hand away and wipes his face. "They're gonna take me." He states looking at me and I sigh.

"Yeah. They are and I can't protect you, but you know how all of this works. You've done it before." Mikey nods as the door opens.

My mom walks in silently and I stand up, I hadn't actually seen my mom face to face in weeks. "Hey kids," she states lowly.

I look at her work uniform, it hangs over her like a second skin. I wonder if we'd still be here if she'd just take a day off work.

Mikey closes his eyes and I bite my lip. "I'm gonna step out," I state but my mom holds her hand up.

"Boys, this is a family matter. You'll be excused in a minute. Sit down." She demands and I nod, doing as told.

She looks at Mikey and then up at the ceiling. "How many times do we have to do this Michael?" Mikey sighs loudly.

"Open your mouth and speak boy. This is the second time since you've started highschool, is it school? Do you need to be transferred?" Mikey shakes his no.

"Step out Gerard. Wait in the hallway." She says and I quickly leave, having a hard time breathing in all the still air.

Mikey's POV

Once Gerard leaves the room my mom walks over to me and places her hand on mine.

"Your skin is cold." She says and I bite my lip. "You have to talk to me Mikey. Please talk to me before they take you. What do I need to do Mikey? What's gonna make you get better?"

I look at my bony wrists and think about the emptiness in my stomach. "I can't get better mom, there's not a pill for this. I don't know what to do."