Tower Over Me (Waycest)

Chapter 40: If You Didn't Already Know.

Frank's POV

I started packing. I made a few phone calls and arranged to hang out with some friends before I left.

As I sat on my bed scrolling through my contacts looking for another person to see, Gerard's name rolls past gracefully.

I'd call if things were different. I'd call if my nose wasn't broken. I'd call if he wasn't sick in the head. I'd call if none of this had ever happened.

Secrets are so selfish. Why didn't he just swallow them until he choked? Why spread your poison in the rest of the garden? Hell, Gerard did more than garden, the entire lawn in wilted now and hear I go, escaping.

I click his number and  take a deep breath.
Are you sure you want to remove this contact?

I click the yes and keep scrolling.

"No more." I state shakily and set my phone down.

I had already scheduled to meet with Kellin, Josh, and his little brother Ray. I think Mikey and Ray had been friends at some point, I hope there's no mention of the wretched past I led.

I look around my room and smile, it'll take some getting used to, but then it'll just roll right on by like every other job.

There's a small knock at my door and then my mom walks in. She smiles, "Good morning Frankie. Did you fall out of the bed or something? Good Christ your nose!"

I shake my head and smile faintly. "Small fight, big guy." I murmur and my mom sits down on my bed next to me.

"Perry says you're leaving." She says, never wasting any time getting to the point. "Yeah..I-I was going to tell you. I wasn't just gonna take off or anything I didn't know how to tell you this yet."

My mom gently places a hand on my forehead. "Don't get flustered Frank we all knew you'd fly the nest one day. I'd just like a few details." My mom says with a small laugh.

I smile at her, "I'm going with this band, first up to New York, then back down, to Virginia, and then the south part of the united States." I explain and my mom grins widely.

"That's good! Not just good, great actually, you'll totally never forget that!" I nod. "Is it like a permanent arrangement? Or just this one tour?" My mom asks interestedly.

"If it goes well it'll be permanent. I'm basically just a babysitter, a road manager for the band members." My mom nods and gives me a reassuring tug on the shoulder.

"You did good Frankie. You did really really good." I smile and nod. She's talking about everything. The job. The leaving. The lost love. The little sisters. I had done everything I could, and now it was time.

"I love you ma," I stammer and she smiles. "If you didn't already know, I love you too."

"When?" I smile, "Two days," I state and she sighs. "You have some people to go see then don't you? Your friends? Kellin? Josh? Mikey?" I smirk, "Mikey's Gerard's little brother." I almost called him his new boyfriend, and man that's a fucked up mind warp. "Oh, I'm sorry Frank. I didn't know," She says guiltily. 

I nervously wipe my palms against my thighs and sigh, "Eh, what're you gonna do? It happened, it ended, it takes some getting used to." My mom nods understandingly and places her hand on my shoulder, "Are you sure you're going to be alright?" 

"Gerard is a man who builds beautiful things, and then destroys them to earn a scar. I, however, am a man who wants to build something strong, and hold it, forever. He's not the man for that, he's who he was in high school and I grew up."

Mikey's POV

What am I doing? I'm not ready. I don't let this illness catch up with me right now, I need to enjoy this. I've lit a fucking fire, I should at least enjoy my time in the burning house, before it collapses. I know what I'm doing can only lead to one spot, death. It's like being in prison, awaiting the shot, the execution.

Gerard finds death beautiful, whether it be idealistically or literal, he finds tragedy romantic for some reason. He would never admit it to himself in his worst nightmare, but he loves me because every day I limp closer to that romantic death. He watches, and without knowing, feeds into the starvation.

Gerard places both of his hands on either sides of my face and his hazel eyes stare into mine like daggers. "I can't..I-I'm sorry Mikey." I feel confusion and hurt rocket up my spine as I push him away from me. I knew I wasn't skinny enough for this yet. 

"No, no, no! It's not you Mikes I swear, i-it's me. I'm not ready, believe me I want this so badly. I'm just...Frank stopped by last night and I hit him and I t-think I still love him and he's leaving and..he made my dream come true even though I probably broke his nose."

I stare at Gerard as he stumbles over his own words. He's trying to explain but all I can think is 

Fat. 

I climb off of the bed and start pulling my clothes back on as Gerard watches guiltily. "Mikey, you don't have to do that." I sigh as I pull my jeans over my hips, "I'm going for a walk." Gerard looks at me sadly. "Mikey it's cold. I-I'm really sorry, please come lay back down, we obviously need to talk."

I smile at Gerard as I start heading for the stairs out of his bed room. "I need to clear my mind first. You know how it is. I'm not up for talking right now." Gerard sighs in defeat and starts to get dressed as well. "I uh.. I should work on the comic." He says lowly.

I rush out of the room and to my own with tears filling my eyes. I hadn't lied, I am going for a walk, but not one I'll be returning from. I need to end this pathetic excuse of a life right now.

I grab the pills Emerson had given me from up under my pillow and then reach for a notebook. I snatch a page out and scribble onto it a lone address. 

1761 Carrington Woods.

There's a pond on the property behind Carrington Woods Park, I'll leave this paper on the kitchen table, and maybe Gerard will see it and come to find me.

Either way, today is my last day.

Oh how wrong it is of me to leave Gerard here like this. Jersey is emptying out for him, and he's supposed to be at the climax of his life. Well, here's the end of mine.

.