Gerard's POV
I hung around at the record label building for a bit, watching the two tour buses leave and head for the interstate. I feel like I could vomit, but I just stood there cradling a cigarette as an excuse to still be here. I had already met with the publisher and she's taking my comic next week to be copied, all there was to do now was go back to the empty house and sit there.
The first time Mikey got sent to the hospital mama stayed home with me so I didn't have to be alone. I suppose I slipped her mind this time. When the last tour bus has gone around the curb I drop my cigarette and get in my car.
I stare at the steering wheel and press my fingernails into the skin on my palms. I haven't spoken to my little brother in three days and I was getting weary of the world. I don't know what to do with myself now.
It's like all this week I've been losing parts of myself.
Who am I without Frank?
Who am I without Mikey?
Tears start to make their way down my cheeks as I start my car and pull out of the parking lot. I wonder if Mikey will be aloud to call us? Will he get visitation? Some places are stricter than others, I just hope I get to hear his voice soon. I'm losing my mind without it.
When I get home I go straight to Mikey's room. First I just sit on the bed staring at his things and choking back tears. I run my fingertips along the covers on his bed and break down completely. "I miss you so much," I say brokenly as if he could hear me somehow.
"I can't believe I let you do this again." I say shaking my head. This is insane, who am I even talking to? "Please don't fucking die Mikey, please!" I shout. The shouting feels like I should be the one in a treatment center but it takes some of the weight off of my chest.
"I love you so so much," I stammer as my voice cracks. I wipe my eyes on the sleeve of my coat and climb off of Mikey's bed. The sun had set outside and his room was almost completely dark. I stare around one more time and then walk out, shutting the door quietly as if he was in there sleeping.
I make my way to the kitchen and take one of the bottles of whisky from the counter. I don't let myself think about what I'm doing as I go down to my room and start to drink it directly from the bottle.
After an hour or so I pick up my phone and dial Frank's number, however I don't press the call button. I toss my phone onto the floor and tip the bottle back one last time before setting it on the nightstand half empty.
Mikey's POV
They came to get us for dinner about an hour late. They lined me and Caleb up in the hallway and then brought out Haley and the still crying Brooklyn. No one speaks as Dr.Pearson leads us to the group therapy circle. Then a few nurses bring us the usual trays of food.
Brooklyn doesn't eat or drink at all, all I can do is drink a few sips of juice before I set it down and try to pretend the food isn't there. "I'm sure you're all very concerned about your friend Lyn-z." He says gently, realizing it's a touchy subject.
Brooklyn looks at him like she wishes he'd drop dead for even speaking about it so casually.
"I don't mean to be insensitive but that's the reality of this illness. People die every day, people that mean a lot to others, it hurts doesn't it Brooklyn?" He asks. He had never directly addressed one of us in group, it makes everyone shift around a bit. Brooklyn looks down at the floor.
"You don't want your family to hurt like this do you?" He asks softly and Haley bows her head. Caleb places a supportive hand on her shoulder. "I-is she dead?" Caleb asks avoiding Brooklyn's glare.
"She's at the hospital, but it doesn't look like she'll be coming back." Dr.Pearson states seeming like he wanted to cry as well. Brooklyn breaks into loud sobs catching the attention of Mrs.King as she was walking past us. "Come with me dear."
I had never heard her speak in such a motherly tone. I knew this was a heavy night. Brooklyn gets up and shuffles away from us still crying loudly as Mrs.King puts an arm around her and leads her into the office.
"O-on a more positive note," Dr.Pearson says looking over at me. "Mikey's being moved to section B tomorrow." He states causing Haley to look up at me with wide eyes.
"He just got here," Haley states and I bite the inside of my lip. "That's not very kind Haley, you should be happy for Mikey," He says and Haley shakes her head. She looks down at the ground and Caleb sends me an apologetic look.
"You'll have to forgive us Mikey, this is a tough time." I nod and drag my fingernails across my skin discreetly. I look down at my tray of food and then out the window. I'm hungry, but if I eat I'll feel selfish. I don't know why but sometimes it's like I don't deserve food.
Dinner went by relatively quickly and we were sent to get our medicine. I take pills at night to sleep and pills in the morning to keep me happy. The day time ones don't really work but I hadn't had to much trouble falling asleep since I got here.
As I wait in line behind Haley I think about Gerard. I wonder what he's doing.
I know in section B you're aloud to call, and then in section C you get visitation. Tomorrow I'll call him, I know his number by heart since he hasn't changed it in about three years.
The woman hands me my pills and watches me to make sure that I take them.
I smile as I swallow them and then I head back to me and Caleb's room. He's already laying down and the lights are off. I make my way to my bed and settle in quietly.
There's no silence on the floor, Mrs.King's heels click past every fifteen minutes until eleven, Dr.Pearson walks past the door with jingly keys at 11:05. Then around 11:30 I hear the phone ringing at the desk.
Then silence.
A chemically induced sleep.
YOU ARE READING
Tower Over Me (Waycest)
Fanfiction(BEING EDITED AS OF 11/06/17) When Gerard admits his feelings to his younger brother things become to overwhelming and cause Mikey's eating disorder to flare up. Gerard ruins a perfectly good relationship with Frank for his little brother who's con...
