Sheer Heart Attack

Chapter 57 - Suicide / November - December 1977

POV Roger

November.

During the month of November, the boys and I did a lot of shows in the American cities. We passed through New Orleans, San Francisco, Chicago, Boston, Denver, North Carolina and South Florida. The boys and I went up to Disney World on one of the days off and we loved it. Then we went to Indiana, Texas, Washington D.C.

December.

In December we continued our tour in New Jersey and spent a week in New York for the Madison Square Garden show for three nights in a row and sold all the tickets. Bri's parents, Mr. Harold and Mrs. Ruth went to one of the performances and were delighted. The three performances were incredible. We took a few days off in New York and bought Christmas presents for my mother, Clare and Isabella. As much as Isabella and I were in a fake relationship, I felt a great need to buy something for her. I called her three times a week. She is already at the end of her Masters. Isabella said that this year will not spend Christmas in Brighton and I think it's strange.

- Did something happen? I asked on the phone.

"It's all right, just this year, I do not want to spend the holidays at Brighton," she said coldly.

"But, Isabella, your grandfather needs you now, everyone who loves you." He's in treatment for Parkinson's disease, "he said without understanding.

"As if you cared about my things, Roger," she snapped irritably.

Something had happened, but she did not want to talk.

- Instead of spending the end of the year in Brazil, do you want to spend Christmas with me and my family in Truro and New Year in London? - I asked.

"I'll think about it," she said coldly, hanging up the phone.

I felt a big tightness in my chest, as if something was about to happen ...

The last show in America was held on December twenty-second at The Forum in Los Angeles.

After the show, the boys and I had dinner and got on the plane back to London.

POV Isabella

December

Since my grandfather compared me to a prostitute, I did not visit them any more. I just send the money in the bank. My grandmother Janice has called a few times, saying that Grandpa repented words, but he himself did not ask for forgiveness for me yet. I was sacrificing myself for him, and I'm judged that way. I confess that I have never felt so hurt and just for him, for my grandfather, that I love so much. Since that episode, I've become colder and sadder. Sue was the only one who knew about the event.

"Bella, you have to get over this," she would say to me.

"My grandmother said he regretted it, but he did not come to ask me for forgiveness yet. I will not be spending the holidays at Brighton this year, "she said in pain.

"Do not do this, Bella," Sue said.

"I'm going to Brazil," she said firmly.

Until Roger called me a few days before returning to London and realized I was not well and invited me to spend Christmas with him and his family in Truro and New Year's Eve in London. I'm wondering if I accept the offer.

Fortunately, I finished my Master's degree. I had to also quit my job as a university professor of English, after all next year I will be married to Roger and I will not go to work. I finished my Spanish course and soon I will begin my German classes. On the one hand will be free time for me to solve my things from the book, after all I finished writing my first work.

Roger and the boys arrived in London on the twenty-fourth of December morning. I got Roger at the airport with his Aston Martin and we went to Truro. Clare and Winifred had gone to town first. I drove quietly down the road and Roger watched me.

"We're in Truro by lunchtime," he said, driving his car. "You can sleep, I know you're tired of the trip." Trust me, I'm a good driver.

"I trust you," Roger said. "At least I trust that in other things ... Unfortunately, I do not trust you anymore."

I looked at him quickly and turned my attention on the road, sadly.

At lunchtime we arrived in Truro. Christmas with Roger's family was good. We had to pretend to be in love with their family. Only Clare and Les knew that everything was a contract.

We returned to London on the 30th of December to spend New Year's Eve in the city with our friends. On the thirty-first day of December, everyone went to the house where Clare and Winifred lived in London and spent the turn of the year there. During the holidays, I did not call my grandparents. My grandmother would call, but I did not want to talk to her. I feel bad, with everything. My life sucks. What am I making of her?

Three of January ...

I unpacked my apartment things, in Kensington that I lived for a long time, now I live with Roger, or not. I am so unhappy that I have other things in mind. I wrote a letter to my best lifelong friend, Sue, and I left the doorman of the building she lives in. I asked him to hand it to her.

Then I got into my car. I told Roger I was going to his country house in Surrey in my car. I turned on the vehicle and left for Surrey, but I would not do it.

Still in London, in the middle of the road, I passed by a bridge with my car. I cried, for being wronged by my grandfather, that Roger had never forgiven me for everything I did to you. I increased the speed of my vehicle. I did not want to live anymore. Then I accelerated my car further, honking for other cars to get out of the way. I accelerated my car toward the guardrail. I did it on purpose. I knock my car, but he overtakes the guardrail, falls off the bridge, toward the Thames.

When my car fell into the river, I was still lucid, but I started to swallow a lot of water ...

POV Sue

I had gone to the supermarket and when I arrived at the building, the porter said there was a letter for me. I open the letter and when I start reading, I froze and ran up to my apartment. I called Roger in Surrey and asked if Bella had already gotten there.

"She's not here yet and I'm getting worried," said the blonde.

"Roger, I think Bella committed suicide. She left me a letter, "she cried.

- What? He asked desperately.

"I'll read the letter," I said, crying.

'' Dear and beloved Sue, my friend, best friend, I love you very much, but, from today you will continue without me. Be happy with Les. But, I do not want to live anymore. My life is over. Everyone I love just hates me. I'm going to cause some accident in me, even today. I think I'm going to hit my car on purpose. Forgive me for doing this, but I have not been happier for a long time. I will always love you, my friend.

Bella. ''

"She could not have done that," Roger said in a shaky voice. "I'm going there, Sue, do not leave."

I waited for Roger to get to my apartment and showed him the letter. He asked Bella what had been very melancholy lately and told him the episode of Bella and her grandfather Mike.

"Mike should not have done that," Roger said. "When I was coming here, I saw vehicles and an ambulance, going the other way. I'm worried, Sue.

I turned on the television when it showed an accident that had occurred on the main bridge in London and a car hit the guardrail and fell into the river. Roger and I stared at the car being pulled out of the river. It was Bella's car.

The paramedics said they were still looking for the driver, who was missing.

"Maybe some strong current from the river has taken you," said the policeman.

At this moment, Roger burst into tears, in my apartment ...

To be continued...