My Life Is A Mess

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© 2017 D.S. Little
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Danielle

I slipped on a tank top and some boy shorts it was Christmas Eve and I was supposed to be spending it with Odell in New York, not in my apartment alone in San Diego. After I left the club I took a taxi to the Hyatt Regency and got a room for the night. I was so thankful for the cushion I had in my savings account for emergencies like this. Even though my head was spinning I was still alert enough to book my flight back to San Diego and then call Chanel to let her know what was going on.

I was thankful to Sterling and Chanel for dropping my things off for me and not bringing Odell with them. Chanel was really concerned and understood why I was doing what I was doing and although we hadn't known each other long she told me that if I needed anything she was there. For some reason I believed her.

That night alone in the hotel room by myself, it was like I had an epiphany or something. Something clicked and my mother's words filled the room and all I could think about was getting to my apartment and just being by myself...no Christian...no Odell...no anybody...I just wanted, no I needed to fall in love with me again. I hated who I was becoming.

I liked Elaine a lot but I didn't want to become her either. I didn't want to have to watch Odell in the club and have fights about who he was talking to or what he was doing. If he cared about me he would have not been entertaining any of the attention he was getting. Especially not in my face! I refused to see or talk to him while in Miami and hoped that he was back in New York by now. I think the adrenaline pumping through me overpowered the hangover because I was thinking more clearly that night than I had in a long time.

I made myself some hot tea and was busy stirring the cup when there was a knock at my door. I was not expecting company so I had a feeling who it was and I was about to make it clear to him that we needed really a break.

I moved to my door and opened it but it wasn't Odell at my door it was Christian and then I remembered in my upset drunken state while riding in the taxi that I had called him the night before.

Once I got settled in my hotel room when he text me to check up on me I text him back to let him know that I was safe in my hotel room, that I was okay and would be flying back to San Diego.

"Hey." I said looking at him with curiosity.

"You weren't answering the phone so I came to check up on you." He said and I opened the door wider so that he could walk inside.

I closed the door behind him, "I've been kinda avoiding it." I told him following him inside. I walked towards the kitchen and picked up the mug and put it to my lips, "shouldn't you be in San Bernardino with your dad."

"I'm going, but I am also dropping you off at your parent's house. I'm not gonna let you spend Christmas alone." He told me with his hands in his pockets.

"I was thinking about driving home tomorrow, I really just needed a night to get myself together before facing my family."

I wasn't sure what all was out there but there were pictures and video clips of my fight with Odell on social media and that was the main reason I had been avoiding my phone. I was embarrassed at my drunken rant and didn't want to be reminded of it again. Not during Christmas.

"So you really think that I'm gonna drive back home without you?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

I didn't want to laugh, I didn't feel like laughing but a smile spread on my face anyways and I rolled my eyes.

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