Thrown Inside (One Direction Fanfiction)

Chapter TwentyThree - I Am Sorry

Life seemed so easy in Milan. Even having paps following you around it was so easy and calm. It almost felt like our own little bubble of security. But again things were changing in our secure little bubble.

It was time for Where We Are Tour to move on to another country and city. This leading for us to leave too. Either with the lads. Or go home. The second alternative was the one I liked the least.

I knew what would be when I came home. Loneliness and horrible thoughts. Here. Wherever Niall was. I felt safe. Being needy had never been my thing but suddenly I was. I needed him right beside me not miles away. 

When I was in school I had a friend that dated a guy that lived in another city. It ended quickly and she was left heartbroken. That was only a city away, How would we survive with countries away from each other?

I was so baffled about how deeply I had fallen for him. Of course I had a major crush on him for forever but now it was answered and surprisingly he loved me back. He would say the sweetest things and I just couldn't believe it. So to know I had to leave him made my stomach drop and made me nauseous. I wanted to take part in everything he did. It felt so unfair.

The last day I had with Niall was a traveling day. We would travel with them to amsterdam and then take our flights from Schiphol. Me and Niall had decided that instead of flying home I'd fly directly to London. I'd take Elin with me as Sabina and Manja would join us two weeks later. 

Sabina and Harry had met their first bump. They weren't both in the greatest mood and Harry just seemed annoyed. Neither of us knew what it was about and didn't want to interfere with heir relationship. Something was up thought. They would walk beside each other but I could clearly see the pain in both Sabina's and Harry's eyes.  

Niall and I had bunked up in one of the bunks with his iPod.

"I love this song so much" I whispered and Niall smiled and kissed my cheek. "Would you sing it for me with your guitar and all, if I asked you?" I asked and Niall smiled. "I would do anything for you" He said and had those clear eyes again. I laughed lightly. Always so cheesy. 

"People like us don't need that much, Just some, One last stars, spark the bonfire in our hearts" He started signing along to Bonfire Heart by james blunt that were playing in the headphones we shared. I closed my eyes snuggling closer taking my headphone out of my ear listening only to his voice. The song just spoke to me. Almost like Blunt had written it for us. 

When he sang to me like this every worry in my head just disappeared. 

Until it jumped on you like Elin did. 

Elin woke me up and Niall was surprisingly still sleeping. I let him sleep and followed Elin to the second floor on the giant bus. Upstairs were nobody I just assumed they had all bunked in with their girl or themselves  and just slept. I don't know. 

We sat down and just talked. It was nice to talk with her again. I had spent so much time with Niall that Our friendship had fallen a bit behind. 

"Louis, you know this weird brother, one second he's wise and helps me through shit and the second he throws water in my face" She said and I laughed. "I never imagined having a big brother and now when I have him I just... can't imagine life without him" Elin said and I nodded.

"Jonathan loves him already and he hasn't even met him" She chuckled lightly and smiled. "Momma finally agreed on letting Jonis come down see him in Madrid... they're going seeing some football game" She said and smiled even wider. "Up on till now it feels like Louis has only been my big brother but he's Jonathan's too and I'm happy Momma finally realized that" Elin said and I patted her back. 

"So how's things with Niall? How are you dealing with leaving him again?" Elin asked and I drew in a breath. "I honestly don't know how I'm handling it... but things with Niall is great.. I love him so much and I'm just afraid he'll find someone better... I don't know" I muttered and she let out a laugh.

"Emma the chance of Niall finding someone better then you is zero, he's head over heels for you" She said happily and slung her arm around my shoulder and hugged me tight.

We sat and watched the road. 

We didn't speak much just sitting watching breathing. I honestly think this moment was one of the quietest I've had in a long long while. It was nice to just have some silence. 

"You can't sleep?" Someone said behind us and we turned. Liam stood there with a cup of what looked like coffeé. "Nah, Sleep's overrated" Elin said and he chuckled lightly and sat down in the sofa in front of us. 

Again silence fell. 

In the back of my head I wondered why Liam wasn't asleep but put it back off my head and looked at the road again. It started to down on me of what I was doing. Sometimes like this everything just seems to hit me. 

Everything that had happened and I felt so gratefully and Happy. I quickly pulled up my phone. 

"Come over here Leyum" I said as I was about to snap a selfie with Elin but Liam looked so lonely on the other side. He jumped over the small table and slung his arm over my shoulder. I snapped the picture and placed it in a collage of different pictures I had snapped with the friends I have and tweeted it. 

Just having one of those quiet moments when you just appetite your friends. Lub you. x

The tweets rolled in and for once I felt strong enough to actually look at the answers I got. I saw my favourite one. She belonged to an update account but had protected us countless times. 

@1DUpdates: @BornWithColour That's so cute! Hope you're having a wonderful holiday! xx -Sarah

I smiled brighter and kept reading. There was indeed a few nasty ones but as a hole there were just nice ones. Casually i answered a few questions that was out there and tweeted a few things as I usually did. By now Elin and Liam were having a conversation about batman. I didn't dare disturbing them so I just kept scrolling on my phone. 

Two hour later we all bunked in. 

I snuggled myself closer to Niall who were snorring lightly. He moved a little and then a smaile appeared on his lips. I kissed them slowly and then fell asleep. Something about a moving bus is just so soothing. Especially with your boyfriend beside you. 

---

"Harry, I'm just not comfortable with it right now!" I herd Sabina say angrily. "Sabina you have to talk to them! They think you're some grumpy bitch" Harry said with annoyance clear in his voice. "I Honestly couldn't care less! I'm in this because of you NO other reason" She hissed and I herd Harry mutter something.

"Did you just say Taylor were at least better with the fans? DID YOU JUST COMPARE ME TO YOUR EX!?" Now Sabina screamed. "Sabina! It's part of me! THEY ARE A PART OF ME! They're always going to be there... no mater how long time without the lads will pass, I'll still be in the business... on the list" Harry said angrily. "I know... I just... Wish it wasn't" She mumbled and then it was quiet for a while. 

I shook Niall a little and he looked up on me. 

"What?" He asked worriedly. "Just hold me" I said not wanting to tell him what had happened. "Shh" He soothed and kissed my temple. I herd Sabina and Harry walk out of the bus. 

"They fought" I mumbled and Niall nodded. "All couples do" He said and I frowned. "I just hope it'll move on and they'll still be hole" I said and he hugged me tight and stroked my hair. "So do I... If one girl is meant to be with Harry it's her" Niall whispered and I nodded. 

We laid there for three hours just cuddling talking through things. We talked about things we were afraid of happening. What we needed to work on and what I would do In England. 

I was scared out of my mind that I would find myself in an argument like Sabina's and Harry's.