this is everything i didn't say

fifty-one

"people say that in time you won't care anymore and i can't say they're wrong
and that would be all fine and good except it's not what happened that you stop caring about. you don't stop caring about the person who snapped your last string. you stop caring about yourself.
and you won't realize it, either. not until it's already happened. you're going to wake up scared of yourself one day because you don't care like you used to. maybe you still care about living, but maybe you don't care if you're eating enough. don't care if your makeup's messy, don't care if no one gives a crap about you. you stay up late knowing you'll regret it in the morning because you don't care how tired you'll be and you don't care how the bags under your eyes become permanent.
you won't care if you have scars, won't care where they are, won't care if they'll be there for six months or forever. you might not feel so dead anymore but you've still stopped caring and that's hard to reverse.
so yeah, time makes you stop caring. but not about what you'd like to forget."