on saturday i got on a drop ride for the very first time
and i found it slightly calming to tell myself that i wasn't afraid of falling
because i had full faith that the ride was secure
i was simply afraid of the fear itself
of the regret at the top and the feeling of my stomach plunging when i fell
and of course, it was completely irrational to be afraid of a feeling
that's what i told myself, anyway, but i'm not so sure i believe it
because i do fear feelings
and i fear what thoughts and actions they bring
and maybe that fear is irrational when you're hundreds of feet above the ground and a feeling's just a feeling and a feeling won't last forever
but my mind is a feelings factory and there are no lap bars or chest restraints there, only the free falling unhindered into the unknown
and who knows when i'll hit bottom?
free fall//k.
YOU ARE READING
this is everything i didn't say
Poetryand then there was one //if you know me, please ask before reading this, it's very personal
