this is everything i didn't say

ninety-one

i am the sun

and everything is brighter than it should be

people are smiling because i'm back and brighter than ever

said they missed me while i was gone, it wasn't the same without me

i don't believe them, though

i see how their eyes squint when they look at me

they smile, then complain about the heat a second later

i don't blame them, though

it kind of feels like i'm melting

i am the moon

and things are dark again like i knew they would be

now that i'm back, everyone stays inside like they're afraid

they whisper whenever i'm around and i am the only one who seems capable of noise

i should have expected this (of course i expected this)

everyone's afraid of what's lurking in the dark

everyone's too scared to get close

i don't blame them, though

i'm just as scared as they are

i am the sun and it's scorching

the heat should warm the darkness from my bones but i think it's reducing me to nothing

i never thought i would long this much for the dark to come back

i am the moon and it's freezing cold

i feel whole again but in the most terrifying way possible

i sort of don't want the sun to come back

i am the sun again and it's a beautiful mess

i shine for everyone but myself

i am the moon again and it's cold but i think it's home

i can finally see the stars

i am the sun i am the moon // k.

-dedicated to jules