this is everything i didn't say

eighty-four

 so they ask me what i'm writing and i say it's a mystery

they think that means i've been working on a novel

with a clear distinctive villain and the hero who solves it all

but when i say it's a mystery i'm telling you i don't know either

because i don't know where to start

or which crime scene to visit

and i'm not quite sure who the villain is anymore

who knows- maybe it's me

but even if it's not, i could never be the hero

so they ask me what i'm reading and i tell them it's dystopian

yeah, it's another one of those stories where everything's ruined

never mind the fact that the main character almost always dies at the end of these kinds of books

as long as the story sounds good nothing else really matters

what i don't tell them is the name of the story is mental illness

and every sentence is a metaphor about dying

or maybe living, what's the difference

all i know is the main character ends up on the bathroom floor in every story

and i've got a thing for poetry that feels like devastation

 dystopia //k.