My Love

33. Regrets

Hayden's POV🌴:

I love being with Alexandra she always makes me happy and her smile makes me jump with joy because I cause them, but tonight was different.

This girl had fell on top of me, and A saw. I could see the hurt in her eyes and I couldn't even know what to do. Have I lost her?

I pushed this unknown girl off of me and chased after A, but she was sprinting really fast.

She must not have known that I was following her because she stopped after she got out of the club.

She stopped in the parking lot and she held her head down. A was about to walk away, but I grabbed hold of her and spunher around towards me. I started saying "A I'm not cheating you someone pushed that girl and she fell on top of me I promise you I'm telling you the truth. You have to trust me...do you?" I looked at her in anticipation does she really trust me? Will she believe when I tell her what really happen? If we don't have trust we have nothing. I stared into her eyes, and the real answer bottled up to the surface.

I let go of her and walked away. All these months she still hasn't let me in. I thought she trusted me and I felt my emotions course through and I shoved them back down as fast as the came up.

She yelled my name, but I didn't even know what to do, so I kept on walking.

I walked and walked for hours, but I had no destination. I thought A...Alexandra would be my destination always my will to live. I care for her I really do, but she couldn't even put in the effort to trust me after all we've been through.

The feeling made me hurt and gave me this sickening feeling churning my stomach. I felt my eyes get blurry and I knew I was about to let go of my tears. The thing that I never did for years even after dad left. A piece of me was always gone after that I was never the same until A.

The heartbreaks never measured to the one that is happening right now.

I need Alexandra in my life but I can't have her.

***

I walked home and waited for A to see if we could talk this through, but she never came home. She didn't even want to face me. What have I done?

I went on the wall, slid down to sit, and let my thoughts carry me away.

I decided to go to the gym to see if she was there, but she was no where to be seen.

I didn't get a text or call from her, but I knew she was going to be ok at least I hope so. It hurt me so much seeing her like that. I wanted to make everything better I really do which is why I kept on looking. I figured she went to Charmaine's house, so I drove there hastily I just had to see her.

I pounded on the door til someone answered and it was Charmaine. She said softly "She doesn't want to talk to you" I held my head down regretting this whole night.

I gripped Charmaine's hands and explained to her everything that had happened. She knew I was telling the truth because she has known me for a long time.

She let me through to talk to A.

I found A sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket as her eyes darted open when she saw me.

I could see the pain in her eyes and her body language I just had to make this right. I tried moving closer towards her, but she got up and backed away from me. "Do you hate me that much?" I pleaded out as I buried my hand in my hair out of frustration.

"You were cheating Hayden and I have proof I saw it with my own two eyes. If you think I'm going to let you back in you're wrong. You hurt me and I felt things for you I thought I never thought I would have to worry about that because I was with you."

Tears were streaming down her slender cheek, and I tried moving closer once more, but she just keeps on pushing me away.

"A I asked you earlier do you trust me? Did you believe what I told you? Or are you going to go with what you saw? Huh? Please tell me" I was getting frustrated and angry at the same time.

The look on her face from hours ago came back does it mean she doesn't?

"A come on don't ruin this for us over some girl getting pushed on top of me. I was never cheating on you and I never will you had my heart since the first day I saw you. I even acted like an idiot the day I found out you were moving into my apartment. I was even showing off around you and flirting with you."

I was getting through to her and I walked up closer to her. This time she didn't move, but she stopped me when I tried to hug her then after a while she moved away once again.

I wish I could read her mind to see what she's thinking I don't want her hurting as long as she's happy, I'm happy.

God she's changed me, and if she's think about breaking up with me...I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose her.

"Hayden I'm sorry but I just can't forgive you for this. I can't I'm sorry, but I think you should go" I saw tears streaming down her face.

I tried wiping them away but she backed away from me.

"I love you" I whispered softly and she just looked away.

I can't believe how stupid I am I let my A go.

She's not my A anymore, I've lost her.

I've been trying to write as much as I can for the weekend because I'm going to really busy during the week, and I'm sure when I'll be able to publish another chapter. Hope you enjoyed the chapters 💙's. That's my new nicknames for my fans. Tell me what you think about it in the comments or if you think you have a better one in mind.

Anyways that was a long one sorry. Do you think Alexandra and Hayden are officially done? I hope not I was coming up for baby names between those too. I'm trying with the jokes, but I don't think it's working. Until next time.

Love,
Kaylia 💋