My Love

38. New Beginnings

Alexander's POV 🌴:

  It had been a couple of days since Hayden and I saw each other.

  I just couldn't stop thinking that he could move on so quickly I had to get away from him. Graduation was tomorrow I'll get a chance to move away from here...away from the love of my life or someone who I thought was.

  How could I be so stupid?

  I let a boy change my mind about my goals and I made him change my life.

  I thought he really cared for me and would actually stick around, so I gave him the time of day I let him and put my life on hold to be with him.

   Love hurts so bad. I don't understand why people chase after it so much it is invaluable.

  Maybe they just want someone to talk to, but that's why you have friends. I didn't want this anymore screw love. Love wasn't meant for me I had a hard time showing my feelings ever since I was a kid.

  My therapist thought that it was because of my mom's death, but I think it's because I felt neglected like I didn't have a place in this world.

  Maybe it seems stupid to you, yet all my life I always thought that my mom was gonna come back that it was all just a joke mom was playing, but she never came back.

  I guess you could say I held onto hope too much.

  I hoped that Hayden and I would last, I hoped that my mom would come back, and none of that ever happened did it?

  Life is never what you expect it to be or what it comes out to be. Maybe your destined to do something else other than thought your destiny was. We have our desires, our thoughts, our fantasies, but those are...pointless. They are things you want in life not what it precedes to be.

  I laid in bed trying to put myself to sleep but I couldn't.

  My mind kept flickering back to Aria and Hayden together. I didn't want to think about that because it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I can't believe I put myself in that position to get hurt.

  I just wanted to get through this graduation and move away. With that being said my mind went blank and I drifted off into a deep sleep wanting to never wake up from it.

***

  12 hours later...

  I had a couple of hours to get ready for graduation when I finally woke up.

  I got in the shower for about 30 minutes. It only took that long because I had to shave. When I got I looked in the mirror and my mind went to one of my memories.

***

  "Hayden we are going to be late hurry up, and get into the shower" I said yelling at him.

  I wore my hair down and curled it.

  I did my makeup. By makeup I mean lip gloss, eyeliner, and mascara. It's kind of funny that I'm a girl that barely knows anything about makeup.

  I don't know why but I just felt the earge to just make Hayden's jaw drop when he sees me.

  I wanted him to know what he's missing out on and what he lost.

  I felt as if I was about to cry, but I wouldn't let it show. I just needed to get through this day and I'd be completely done with him. I would never have to see him again and I would never have to be reminded by the way he made me feel.

  I feel vulnerable. Why did he have to make me feel this way?

  I knocked these thoughts out of my mind and finished doing my make up as I put on my valedictorian gown and my cap.

  This is supposed to be an exciting day I won't let Hayden get in the way of my happiness.

***

  I got in my car and drove like a lightning bolt.

  Once I got to the school I realized it was everything like I dreamy it would be. I finally experience this amazing moment where I'll feel accomplished. All these years I've been working hard to make it here.

  After this I will never have to feel anyway about the guy that I used to think would never hurt me.

***

Weeks later...

  I made it, and I'm not going to stop here.

  This is going to be my life for the next 4 years. I better go find my dorm room. I heard that I have a boy roommate and that never happened to me before.

  Maybe we will become great friends who knows.

  I looked everywhere for my room, but it was impossible to find. I bumped into someone and when my eyes adjusted I introduced myself.

  "Hi I'm Alexandra, and what's your name?" I said and she looked at me as she replied with "My name is Catalina and you seem lost can I help you?" I smiled at her politely and continued on to say "Yes I didn't think it was that obvious I was lost" I raked my fingers through my hair in frustration.

  "I know where it is. Come on follow me" she pointed her finger toward a building in the bag as she continued "It's in the back building."

  After a few minutes we got to my dorm and I thanked her. Cataline said "There's a party tonight and it's a really good one. Do you want to come with me?"

  "I'd love to come with you. What time is it?" I asked and she pushed her long reddish hair back as she continued "I'll come get you around 8 tonight be ready. We got to impress the guys so wear something sexy. See you later Alexandra."

  The room smelled manly as in the room was intoxicated by the smell of axe cologne.

  It reminded me so much of...

  Hayden.

  I heard footsteps and went around to the other room as I rested my belongings on the floor gently.

  As I entered the other room I realized a figure in the corner.

  The person turned around and I saw that it was Hayden. I tried walking back out of the room, but before I could he started walking hastily toward me.

  His grasp around me was more than I could handle. I would never admit it to anyone but I missed the way his hands felt on my body. "I've missed you and I want you to let me explain" he said as his face got closer to mine. I pulled away from him and walked to the door.

  "I will never want to feel what you made me feel again. You need to take care of your child and Aria. You don't need me right now" I looked away and rushed out of the dorm.

  I walked and walked until I reached a garden on campus.

  I looked out at the lake in front of the garden, and it made me feel at peace. Tears started to well up in my eyes I couldn't hold back what was coming next.

  I let the tears stream down my face.

I'm sorry I haven't published in a while, but I had to take a big exam, and I had my track practices. My week has been very busy I hope you guys understand. I always try to make as many chapters as I can for you guys.

Love you my 💙's and I'll try to make a chapter this weekend. Good night or good morning wherever you are in the world going to sleep. ✌✌✌

Well until next time.

Love,
Kaylia 💋