Crossed Lines

45.

Don't kiss him Mel.

Don't you dare.

Pull away.

I think at this point we've already established that I never listen to my inner voice. Well, when it comes to Zayn anyway. I halfheartedly try to pull away but he's holding my face, keeping me from moving away. So I give in. I kiss him back and in that moment everything besides us, fades away. Nothing else but this kiss matters. Not the fact that we're not together anymore, nor the fact that we ditched a charity event to fight and kiss. Nothing is important, but us.

My hands go to his hair and my hands tug. He groans and I realized how much I've missed his body against mine. I deepen the kiss and I guess that's what he was waiting for because he takes control and pushes me against the wall. The kiss becomes primal and possessive. Reminds me of the times he was being a "caveman" and he would kiss me hard just to prove a point. I love it. My hands stay buried in his hair and his grip on my hips tighten. He starts kissing my jaw and neck and I feel him bite down my cleavage.

The room is filled with moaning and heavy breathing. And I moan particularly loud as he suddenly grabs my ass with both hands, pressing me against him.

"Quiet." He whispers and his face is back up to my jaw. He connects our mouths again and we moan together as our tongues meet. I tug him back by his hair and I bite on his bottom lip. I don't know where my braveness comes from, but I kiss his jaw then his neck and we're both aware that I'm leaving hickeys behind. When I raise my head, He's starting down at me with dark eyes and a small smirk. He lifts one hand from my butt to trail one finger down my cleavage. "You look so beautiful. So hot." He pecks me. "I saw a few men looking at you. I wish they could see you like this, in my arms. Wanting me like this." He breathes.

"Caveman." I whisper back against his lips. He smiles and closes his eyes as he kisses me again. This kiss is still passionate but slower and has more meaning behind It. What exactly, I don't know. We kiss slowly and my arms move around his neck and his move to my waist. Everything about this is so familiar but it feels so brand new at once. His soft lips, warm toned body and his intoxicating scent. He truly is perfect.

"It always comes to this, doesn't it? We always find ourselves like this." He says.

"We do." I nod

"I missed you. I missed this."

"I missed you too. I think after tonight I'll be probably feel depressed again." He gives me a confused look.

"Why?"

"This doesn't change anything Zayn. We still have too much problems." It pains me to say it but we both know it's the truth. "and it won't help me with moving on at all."

"Maybe you shouldn't be moving on." He says.

"We're too complicated. Maybe we should do it now before we make it worse for ourselves."

"Even though we're both hurting? This right here..." he gestures to us holding on to each other. "...clearly proves I can't stay away from you and you can't stay away from me. You know it's true. I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either. I don't want to lose any more important people in my life. I've had enough of that already."

"You don't have to." I try to tell him that it's for the best but he puts a finger on my lips. "We don't have to get back together just yet but I still want you in my life."

"You do? because I'm done going around in circles and I'm done playing games."

"Just promise me that you'll keep in touch and that you'll call me whenever you need something, anything. No matter what it is. Even if it's just to talk." I swallow hard and I don't see that ever working out. I know that if I were to "keep in touch" it would be like reminding myself of what I can't have. It would be like being in love with someone you know you could never have. It would be a bad idea. He kisses me again slow and sweet. He probably knows I'm going over everything that could go wrong and he probably knows he's my weakness. "Same goes for me."