Already Gone

Chapter 40

Sky's POV

My throat restricted watching her tears fall but it's not what gets me the most it's that sad smile. I've never seen that on her before and I've seen many different sides of her grief. The way she handles pain I've witness it and it tares me apart not to hold her. It physically hurts just standing there and seeing this. 

How can I just stand there and pretend that I didn't love her and it's almost too much for me to bare. 

I love her too much to see her fade right infront of me. 

Her face is haunting my mind all night and I couldn't sleep. I would get up from my bed and rush right infront of her bedroom but I didn't have the courage to open it. 

I'm afraid of her anger but most of all I'm afraid of her pain because she's hurting too much and I know seeing my face is adding to that. The guilt of knowing I was part of the reason why she's hurting made my anger towards Jessica turn bigger. 

When I saw her house all burnt down I never felt so scared in my life but when I saw her face filled with void but tears fell continuously. I knew something bad had happened and I couldn't let her go, I just needed her near me to know she's safe even I don't speak to her. I just need her near me to subside this anger with myself for not protecting her, for not being there for her. 

I can't carry on and see the struggle in her eyes every morning and each night she refuses to have dinner with us. 

I wanted to tell her I love her that I won't leave, I won't hurt you but thing is I did. I did all those things and I'm too ashamed to look at her in the eyes. I did all the things I promised her I won't do. I just hope that when I sort everything out she would understand what I had to do. I hope she can forgive me and I hope she could love me again. If I have to beg then I would. 

I stretched my limbs and got out of the bed looking over at the clock 6.30 am. I yawn and walked out of my room but only to slip in something wet. I feel my butt sting from the impact feeling the wet ground underneath me. 

"What the hell" I crane my neck and look at the floor seeing more wetness on the floor. 

My eyes follow the trail of wet puddles left on the floor. I stared at the open door of her room and the water trail leading all the way down the hallway. I stood up quickly my curiosity spiking through. My eyes widen seeing her empty room, quickly I follow the wet floor down the stairs and when I saw the front door wide open my heart shattered thinking of the worst. 

"No....No..No Dad? Mom?!" I screamed loudly my voice echoing the entire house. 

I climb down the steps in a rush three at a time my eyes wildly searching for her. Please just be in the house, please don't do this to me. When I found the house empty from her presence my throat tightened in unbelievable pain. 

"What's going on here?" Mom came rushing down in her robe staring at me like I lost my mind. "And why is the water a mess I swear to God Sky-

"She's gone. She's not here!" I ramble.

"What's happening here?" Dad came down bewildered. 

I look out the window my heart completely shattering seeing snow falling down and I put two and two together. Everything weigh so heavy inside me and it's like my whole world is spinning too quick for me to catch up. 

They both sense my panic but my dad seemed more in tune with what I'm thinking I just couldn't spit it out because the air in my lungs is sucked out of me in fear. 

"Alright let's go grab your coat we'll look for her, Amy stay here just in case she comes back." Dad instructed quickly. 

I grab the nearest jacket from the closet and sprint downstairs and rush into the car my stomach twisting painfully.