Already Gone

Chapter 38

Grief. Grief is a type of emotions I know too well. 

As I sit on the cold floors of the hospital I couldn't move. I'm scared that if I did the pain would double but how can that be when I never felt pain like this before. Nobody should feel this type of pain, nobody deserve to feel like this. There is a tear every time I blink and the world seem to be so cruel. 

Kyle came into my view his face filled with remorse and fear seeing me like this breaking down in the middle of the hospital. He saw from the look of my face that he knew that Harry is dead. He was pronounced dead before the ambulance reached the hospital. 

"Oh Hailey" He reads my pained expression. 

Cold tears continue to roll down my drenched cheeks thinking of everything I have. 

My mother died taken away from me since birth and I was there in her arms as she convulse in pain suffering from too much blood loss. My father suffered a long term sickness and I get to watch as he painfully fade away from me. Harry that I grew up to love as a brother left me too and died infront of me too. 

I'm haunted by all their voice and I weep, I cry a broken cry and that seem to terrify Kyle never seeing me in this distress way before. Pulling me into his arms trying to calm me down but their voice seem to grow louder reminding that all I'm all alone now. I have no one, no one to love me. There is no dulling this pain and all I could do is gasp in agony.

There is no moving on from this. There is no convincing myself that I could stand up straight and not feel this pain of losing everybody that ever loved me. This is the ultimate rock bottom and I don't want to get back up. I don't want to face another day to remind of this pain. I have completely given up. 

My home, my best friend, my mother, my father and even Sky they are all gone. There is no moving forward from this. 

I curled myself tightly against Kyle as if trying to evaporate from this world. 

Hours went by and I passed out from exhaustion of crying too much. Kyle brought me to his house and let me stay. 

I knew it was only a few hours of sleep so I just laid still in bed staring at the art hanging on the walls. Finding no joy, no beauty in anything. I am lost in my own pain. 

I hear his voice in the distance, Tate's voice arguing loudly through the halls.

"Let me see her!" He growls making my heart pound loudly. 

"Get the fuck out of my house Sky!" Kyle yells just as loud.

When I hear the argument getting heated I squeezed my eyes shut remembering Harry doing the same thing as Kyle. Tears rolling down my face in exhaustion, I got up and zipped my hoodie and walked out the door and pass them. They stood inches away from each other daring each other to make the first move. It doesn't matter to me anymore so I walked pass them. 

Sensing me they both pulled up bewildered seeing me like a zombie mindless making my way towards the door. 

"Hey Hailey where are you off to?" Kyle spoke nervously seeing me to only look pass him as if he isn't there.

 Caught up in my own world he sees me just as broken as I feel. 

"Hailey?" Sky's voice shook. 

My eyes snapped towards him with continuous tears that seem to leak from my tear ducts everytime I open my eyes. 

I don't quiet know how to explain this type of pain but all I know it's all I feel. Every step, every breath it's constant and it is all I could focus. Everybody else is just an illusion to me.