Already Gone

Chapter 42

It's been over a month since I tried to commit suicide, I wasn't ready to tell anyone what I've done so David kept my secret. We told Amy he rushed me to the hospital because I passed out not from the cold but the lack of sleep. Most of all I didn't want to see the look on Sky's face when he knows what I've done. 

I don't want him to see me as more of a broken sad girl that he needs to fix. 

The first time I saw him was when I went down stairs for a glass of water at night and I saw him sitting in the dark staring at nothing. He was completely still and he didn't even notice me. There was a void in him, an emptiness that is growing and all I want to do is comfort him but there is something between us that is stopping me. I hesitate with him all the time, I question my actions and pull back because I know I'm just annoying him. 

His eyes then snapped towards me for the first time and it was like he saw a ghost. The look in his eyes is something I can't forget. He didn't say anything instead he stood up and for a second I thought he would just ignore my presence the way I told him to do and I would do the same when I live here. He stopped right beside me inches away and his warm hand wrapped around my hand loosely. 

I remember how my heart pounded loudly and how I looked up to him in hope he would say something. His touch so simple, so small that I felt overwhelmed and it went over my head over thinking things. He then gave me a broken sad smile that I never seen on his face and it had my stomach twisting painfully at the sight. 

I remember those small words he said. "I'm glad you're home" 

He left me standing there, the one that I love, the one I truly miss. He is the love I never knew and falling completely in love with a person who only pretended to love me. I think this is going to take a long time to get over him because every time I'm near him I crave for him and only him. There is still this lingering resentment I have, it's not hate I could never hate someone who saved me in many different ways. Even if the love was a lie for him he gave me true happiness. 

It's graduation day and I stood among the crowd ready to line up, it's been a long day listening to speeches from people I don't care about. High school is just a daze that will be forgotten because my high school was never kind to me. It was all about who's the prettiest, who's the more athletic, who has fucked more girls in the school, who is the richest. 

There is only two people that I care about in this school, well three if I'm being honest with myself because I will always care about Sky no matter what. Before the ceremony I spoke to Bonnie and Kyle. 

Before the ceremony....

"Can you believe it we are going to graduate!" Bonnie is practically jumping up and down.

"I hate this high school so much but you two aren't that bad" Kyle complimented making me laugh along with Bonnie.

"I'm going to miss you guys" I muttered.

Bonnie put her hand through mine smiling softly, "You can still come with us to Colombia, you have one of the highest GPA you can get into any school you want." 

"You still have time to pick over the break" Kyle nodded. 

It was time to tell them my decision to leave this town and I don't think I'm coming back for a long time. 

"After receiving my certificate I'm leaving this town, I'm going to my hotel and I'm not sure I will be coming back" 

The look of surprise lit their entire face and a little confusion but I know underneath all of that they understand. 

"I've thought about it alot and I think it's best for me to leave." '

I didn't want to be here and hate this town but the longer I am here, the longer I despise it. The streets I walk on, the ice cream shop around the corner where dad use to take me, the beach Tate and I use to go and stay, the coffee shop, the book store and even the mansion. I began to grow an uneasy form of dislike for all of them. Not because of the place itself but the memories that brings pain to each location. I know that maybe someday when I come back here I will miss it and I will learn to love this place again.