UNFAZED - Book Three In The Unknown Identity Series

Chapter 4 - Lingering Words

Keith's POV

   "Jay."

   "Keith," she said it with no feeling, no emotion, as if it meant nothing to her, and it hurt.

   It hurt to know that I was most likely dirt under her shoes because of everything I did. Because of all the lies I told, I've driven her away. And nobody else's fault but mine. I went down the wrong road, and it's time to right my mistakes.

She stood before me, starring. Her irises glinted in the moonlight that was casted into the room, her facial expression seemed to be bored, but it was slightly unreadable. She pivoted on her bare heel and made her way toward the door again.

"Wait...please. Don't go." I plea.

"Why should I stay?" Her voice was heavy, with sadness and unspoken anger, towards me...all because of me.

"Because," I really didn't have a reason other than I missed her, "I miss you."

She scoffs and resumes her path out of the room.

"I also wanted to say I'm sorry." I croak, my voice rasp and hoarse.

Jay stopped abruptly in the middle of her step and turned toward me.

"What's done is done."

"I know, but I made a mistake...I should have just told you the truth that night, but I was afraid."

Jay walked around the corner again and plopped down in a visitor chair on the opposite wall from the hospital bed.

"Why did you do it?" Her voice came in a whisper, almost too faint for me to hear.

"I did it to protect myself. I was selfish and only cared about m image. I didn't realize that by doing what I was doing would hurt you, Jay. I didn't realize that it would cause you pain. And for what, just so that my past would be told in the wrong way and time. I was so selfish and oblivious to the fact that I would hurt the only one I loved, in the end. And all because of those lies, I hurt you, I hurt our relationship I messed up everything. It's all my fault that this happened. Maybe Jo-Je was right, maybe if we never ran away and fell for each other the way we did, we wouldn't be in this situation right now-"

"How can you say that?! I thought that you liked being together, that we found the love. But now you're telling me that you wish it never happened?" Her voice broke, which only caused more pain to erupt in my chest, not because of my broken ribs, but because of my broken heart.

"No, Jay. I loved and still do love you, I never want to end this but-"

"But what?" She spat, "You're gonna tell me that we should just stop now before it gets worse?"

"No," I protest, "I never want to stop, you're the only light I have left. but I destroyed it with all my dang lies, all my dang mistakes I made. It's my fault I did this to you, made you ache inside. Please, say that you can somehow look past it...and find that light again. please say that you remember the good times we had, at Brett's house, in the forest, the night before I left when we refused to let go of each other. Please say that you remember," I beg.

She sat there, not saying a word, leaving my words to linger in the tense air. Jay was staring deeply into the floor, as if she found something within it, imbedded deeply in the tile.

"Please,"

Silence.

She stood up slowly, unsteadily. She strides toward where I was laying down. The doctor said that i couldn't sit up for my ribs would be scrunched up and it could cause further damage, memories from this morning came into mind all of a sudden.

At my feet, I felt a small dip and the hospital bed creaked. I lifted my head a bit, only for a wave of nausea to take over my head, forcing it down again. I hissed in pain as it came in contact with the hard memory foam pillow I was provided with.

But the pain was short lived when a warm palm wrapped around the back of my head and was lifted up, then placed back down gently again. Now I was propped up so now I could see her perfectly sitting on the edge, her blonde hair falling freely like a cascade around her shoulders.

"There," she whispered, her voice soothing.

"Thank you."

She nodded. It was silent for a minute again, but it was comforting; though it was short lived when Jay's calming voice echoed in my mind, "Keith, why were you scared of telling me the truth?"

I sigh, "I was scared that you would treat me differently, knowing the truth and the reason why I'm the way I am. I was afraid that you wouldn't want to be around me anymore, that you'd be scared of me."

Jay's eyes were swept with a look of sympathy, "Keith, I wouldn't have done that. I would have been happy knowing the truth. But, I understand the reasons why you did what you did," a small smile tugged at her lips and at mine too. "But, it was hard learning it all at once. It hurt, but I can't stay mad forever..."

"Will you forgive me?"

She nodded again, "It might take time, but I will never let what we share die, I just can't. Earlier when you said that I was your light, you made me realize that you are mine too, you are the only thing I have left in this world to love. You are the only one there for me when I need you, and I can't loose you, just because I refuse to forgive one thing. We all have our secrets, and sometimes, they're taken the wrong way, and sometimes they're learned the wrong way...but we can't go along in life ignoring the pain, as if it never happened. I can't live without you in my life, and I can't survive knowing that I would have been the reason this all ended...because I refused to forgive you for a lie that needed to be told, but was in the wrong way."

I let her words sink in. She's right. We can't stay mad and upset forever, ignoring the pain, guilt, and each other, we always will forgive each other one way or another, weather it's immediately, or over a period of time, just as long as I have her and she has me, my life is complete.

__________

Kind of a short chapter I know, but there's more to come!

   HAPPY READING!

~AlexisJadeS22