UNFAZED - Book Three In The Unknown Identity Series

Chapter 25 - Shock

A/N: 15 more chapters till the end!
   Bennett's POV

   I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, because I am. Very, very nervous. What if I say the wrong thing? What if she wont forgive me? Honestly, I don't deserve her forgiveness. I've hurt her too much. I've gone over board and have done unforgivable things that I myself have trouble coping with.

   Everyday I think of the horrible things I've done, not just to Jay, but to others. I've taken my anger and pain and thrusted it on another, hurting them even more. I was uncontrollable and insecure then, but I want to fix my mistakes here and now. And I'm gonna start with the one I've hurt and tortured the most for no particular reason.

   Sitting here, my knees bouncing up and down as I grow more eager to get this done. I run my hands over my jet-black hair thousands of times, trying to mentally ready myself with what I have to say, running over and over again what I have planned to talk about. I just hope it's enough to earn forgiveness, though I don't think it will.

   I'm on her 'most hated' list without a doubt and highly disagree to the fact that there might be a possibility of her removing my name from the number one spot.

   But one can only hope.

   ***

   "I'll go get her," Keith states and disappears around the corner I assume to where she is. My hand shakes and the anticipation build up inside of me has reached it's peak. I'm ready to talk and apologize for all my wrongs, and I want to make it better, I want to make myself a better person. I don't want to be viewed as the school's "victorious bad guy" anymore, I want to change that name I've earned for myself.

   A minute later, Keith reapers and takes a seat across from me where I'm sitting in a chair in the living room, he stares at me intensely as if he's trying to bury me, I know that by hurting Jay, I've also hurt him and I've already plead my apology to him, and so he's about to hear it again, just this time with more thought.

   Jay comes around the corner and taking a seat adjacent to Keith on the couch, placing both of her hands in front of her and intertwining her fingers on her lap, she remains silent, but her gaze is telling me everything I need to know. She's hurt, angry, and inflamed with me, and I don't blame her one bit.

   "Okay Bennett, go ahead," her tone is hasty, but I could tell she was trying hard to hold it back.

   I let out a breath, trying to reassure myself that this is my one chance and I will do fine. "Jay, I just wanted to start off saying that I'm so sorry for everything I did to you."

   She looks at me, her expression is unconvinced with my statement. I can tell it's gonna be a lot of work to get her to forgive me, and I am not going to stop telling her how horrible I feel about what I've done until she forgives me.

   "I've hurt you in many ways, I know. Every single day when I wake up, the horrible feeling of guilt always edges within me. I'm so sorry for what I did to you," I stop for a second, taking in a breath, readying myself for what I have to say next. "Jay, when I first saw you, you looked so broken and despondent, I don't know what came over me, but the sudden urge to make you break even more came to my mind. I wanted you to suffer, though I don't know the reason. I've made mistakes like this before, and back then, I felt nothing...but now I feel everything. I feel pain myself for putting others in pain and distress. I feel so horrible for everything I've done. I'm a sick person for doing what I did."