I wake up before Raidyn and I don't bother to wake him from his sleep due to his crazy night before. Drunk with Bren--although it must have been a ball and brought back so many memories, hopefully not any gigolo memories. I can't be mad at him for having a good time, especially when I never have. I've never been drunk before. Never had the desire--never was technically allowed. I would see the lords and soldiers I spied on so drunk and out of their minds that they became terrible aggressive people. Drinking never sparked my interest, but I guess now since it's the right environment it could be fun--as long as Raidyn is with me and we have a sitter for the boys.
I take care of Ries so he doesn't wake his father as I hold in my arms and I sit at the table to read Raidyn's journal.
"~July 1st~
The Eastern Kingdom is so hot all summer long and the women strip down to basically nothing. It's glorious. Bodies everywhere. Sex, lust, desire everywhere. Bren and I everywhere.
It's always the perfect distraction to come here. I know I've said this a thousand times in here, but it's really not the same to go out without Bren. He was exactly on my level with charm, but I would never let him know that and get to his head. I will just continue to claim I'm better and prove I am. Harking is an awkward wingman, he's too casual all the time. Like yeah Harking, I get that you're into bagging my future wife, but you could also help me sleep around and have some fun yourself in the meantime, El isn't interested buddy and plus she's like four. Whatever connection he thinks they have is just a delusion. Wyr, on the other hand, is terrific, much better than Harking or Bren. Wyr is loads of fun, but not in his work, his guards under him are so whipped they coware at the sight of him. When I go out with Wyr, he's more approachable than I am since I'm king in my kingdom, I really have to work on that in the future. I guess when I reread this I'll see how it all worked out for me.
I'll be visiting the Desert Kingdom for this whole month and the next. I couldn't wait to get drunk out of my mind and waste away with Bren. Not to mention, the race we have this year which starts today. It's the race of who can get the most ladies by the end of summer. It was going to be me obviously. I'll probably write a detailed page of every woman, a girl every other night is steady. I actually have a woman who looks similar to Raven that I brung along in hopes of distracting Bren for a good couple of weeks, I know his type and preference well, black hair and blue eyes. Me? I don't discriminate. I haven't even found close to my type yet. It's all just meaningless, it's like working out. The carriage just stopped and I finally arrived; I'll write later.
I'm back. Bren and I hit our favorite club tonight. We didn't get to bed and we kept our drinks at steady pace with food to suck it up. I ended up with a beautiful blonde named...Tiffany? I think? I barely had to speak before her lips were locked with mine. Man oh man. She had the biggest cans I've ever seen and they swung everywhere as I twirled her on the dancefloor. I'm surprised they didn't pop out of the dress. Things escalated pretty quickly with us and she went multiple rounds with me. She's going to be sore tomorrow or today or whatever, I know it. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head so much that I can't even remember what color her eyes were this morning. Man, did she know how to ride, but I'll never see her again because honestly I still feel empty and I know I wasn't in the moment, but next time I would probably get bored and the last thing I wanted was my mind to wander. Tiffany is probably fine with it. She'll probably never want to feel like she does now, again. There's nothing like my stamina and she learned the hard way- get it? I know I will when I reread this, maybe I'll even chuckle and bring myself happiness to enjoy for two seconds before my heartbreak continues. Maybe I'll burn this book so no one can see what a pussy I'm being writing down my feelings or lack of. We'll see. I think it's time for me to hit the hay. Until tomorrow, or shall I say today? Next time I write I'll explain what happened with Bren.
