Raidyn
Raidyn Rastifen,
My dear darling boy. You are growing so fast, nearly twelve years old. You're growing into such a fine little gentlemen, you're so sweet to your sister and you're a beautiful soul. You are my heart and my joy and I love every minute I spend with you. I love your electric hugs and kisses and our cuddles. You and your sister are by far the best thing that have ever happened to me--but this letter is about you. Raidyn, my dark prince, you are magnificent and you deserve a life, you don't understand how much you deserve to happy and how much I want to see you happy. One day I hope you understand my decision and I hope you aren't angry with me or bear any guilt--it is not your fault, not one bit. My heart breaks for you whenever your powers take control, I will do anything to end this misery for you. I cannot stress enough how proud I am of you and how much of a wonderful young man turned into. You're so intelligent, you're mischievous, and you are my boy. To be a king means to rule your people and I know our people will love and look up to you. Raidyn Milo Rastifen, my love, you deserve every ounce of joy that life will throw your way. Things will be hard I know this, but open yourself up and find that happiness. Don't be afraid darling. There's a few things I want you to know, little life lessons that I won't be there to tell you. Being a king is to support your people at all cost, but do not be foolish in how you support them. You must listen and make the best decision. Don't be afraid to put your family first. Don't be afraid to fall in love. Knowledge is important, the more you study the more strategic you can be. Be nice to your sister and protect her at all costs. I wish I could think of more things to give advice on, it's so hard thinking of advice to give you and not knowing the problems you'll face. Open yourself up and listen to your gut; that is as best I can tell you. Never doubt yourself and keep your chin held high. Your father and I love you and we support you and are very proud of you. I love you more than anyone in the realm can ever understand. Words can not describe how much I cherish you as my son, as my prince and how much I wish I can say I'm sorry I won't be there in person for the rest of your life, but I have no regrets, I will be looking after you until we meet again someday...and I hope that day is far away. I love you to next realm and back. My darling boy--be happy.
Love, Mom xox
Like my mother could actually expect me to be happy after what happened. I reread it over and over and study every curve on the page. I study her penmanship and when my eyes start to burn I fold up her letter and neatly set it back in the envelope. I stand from the table and unwrinkle my slacks. I'm glad I didn't read this letter until now because I wasn't ready and I know I'm still not. I expected to feel different after reading this, but all I feel is angry at her for not telling me then what would happen. She knew and it still pisses me off because I didn't. I wish I could've known how much time I had left then, things could've been different. I could've been better. I could've made sure to commit every last second of the day to my memory, but I didn't. I didn't write a thing down back then and I could've had I known.
"Hey." Byrd snaps me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"
"I just read my mother's letter to me." I say clipped.
"And?" She frowns.
"I just wish I would've known. She said all of these things about loving me and being proud and I'm so upset with it, honestly." I run my finger through my hair in aggravation. After we returned home from the reception, I got my locks cut so they're more manageable now.
"So you're angry?" She pats the bed for me to join her. "She loved you Raidyn, she probably knew you would've stopped it if you knew."
"You're right, I probably would've, but I still wish I knew." I huff.
